The Wings of Liberty Project

[Louis]

You got in before the edit.

Side characters aren't inherently bad. When you've got loads and loads of characters it's inevitable that some will get more screentime than others. You'll note that I'm not complaining about Mira Han's role in the campaign and that they didn't do her character justice.

The problem is WOL doesn't really have that many characters, and the ones it does have are presumably there instead of other characters that could be there. Every time I look at Hanson, I see Mengsk's palace, filled with Generals, Admirals, Ambassadors from the UP or KMC, and frequent entrances by characters such as Narud and Valerian. Blizzard chose to go with inherently tamer characters with less influence, that means they made a sacrifice (consciously or without understanding it). It only makes sense to then attempt to get everything you can out of what you ended up with.

Quanitity doesn't matter too much to be honest. Loads of fiction gets by just fine on a lot less than WoL.
I keep on looking at WoL and remember the news that Blizzard decided to split SCII into thirds of a campaign halfway through development. I suspect that Hanson and Tosh were added after the split so it'd be difficult to work them into the expansions, but I think that thete is a lot of potential in a shady ex-ghost with a grudge and a low grade Zerg infestation cure and hope the expansions will do something about it. But probably not going to happen. Still, Hanson and Tosh both justified themselves by shedding some light onto Jims character for the newbies so they were somewhat productive imo.

[pure.Wasted]

I think that thete is a lot of potential in a shady ex-ghost with a grudge and a low grade Zerg infestation cure

I agree. Both of these will feature heavily in Section Two.

Still, Hanson and Tosh both justified themselves by shedding some light onto Jims character for the newbies so they were somewhat productive imo.

I would never say that they were a complete waste of time. That would be a blatant lie. However, this is obviously a question of standards. My standards are set much higher than "somewhat productive," and "somewhat productive" does not get a pass. No "A for effort."

[BusinessMonkey]

I'm amazed by how tantilizing this re-write already is. You've really done a great job so far.

I have some points though and it might make sense that they're more focused on gameplay, since you've got so many aspects of the storytelling so well covered.
You mention introducing units that will have some sort of scope/advantage in the mission they're introduced in, yet I can't seem to be able to read that scope/advantage out of the missiondescriptions themselves.
I can see techwise, why we'd have medics, vultures, firebats so soon (it's the same stuff we had 4 years ago), but having (when that time comes) little sidedescriptions of what we'd use those units for, could be cool.
Also noting that the Siegetank is the unit I have most trouble imagining in its respective mission, due to the described gameplay, but ALSO due to the fact that the Crucio is new tech contrary to the Arclite we all know and love. ;P

Stetmann, I don't give a damn about. Having TWO prominent scientistscharacters always did bother me in WoL. Since the Lab was low-keep anyway, why didn't blizz make a story out of FINALLY having someone (Hanson) to run the unused lab?
So my advice, demote the bastard to some assistant kinda guy that finally gets his "chance" when a proper scientist (again Hanson) shows up. And in the case you kill her off or something, he can be replacement since he's been tutored by that time.

Also I think adding Kachinsky (just as Blizz did back in 2007) as the direct "voice" of the unsatisfied crew, could help putting Swann in that light of being unvolentarily the mutiny's leader. Kachinsky is a great character, a superskilled engineer and to the Hyperion an invaluable asset, but he also has his issues (his brother and all) so he is the more illtempered, and therefore also illogical at times, of the crewmen. Adding him would to me being spicying the already, by you, well established setting and mood aboard the Hyperion.

And just as a frisky note. I would wait longer for this (and for what I believe to become an incredible re-write) than the wait we did for WoL. Keep it up Wasted!

[mr. peasant]

Oh God, you've found the crack that will unravel my entire re-write! I don't have an arc planned for Stettman!

No biggie. You could just set Stetmann up as the main info-dumper where the Artifact is concerned. For example, he could be the one who reveals/discovers the anti-Zerg properties of the Artifact during Zero Hour. And to spice it up, you could have him be an outsider; either a Moebius scientist who arrives just before the Zerg invasion to verify the Artifact or (better yet) a Dominion scientist that you either rescue during Zero Hour or kidnap during The Outlaws so ensure that the 'alien contraption doesn't 'splode on us'.

The advantage with the latter is that it would provide an interesting contrast between Hanson and Stetmann (the former angry that the Dominion abandoned her while the other naively confdent that the Dominion will rescue him). He could then have a mini-arc of him slowly 'going native' after spending time amongst the Raiders. As for things to do, he could have a 'day in the limelight' mission by having the Tal'Darim show up to try and steal the Artifacts (instead of just threatening vengeance a la WoL) during which time Stetmann is forced to protect them since the entire Hyperion has been locked down for whatever reason.

Lastly, one idea I think would be really fun is if instead of simply pardoning Swann's mutiny with no repercussions, Raynor instead still allows them to work but require that they continue to live in the brig until they finish serving their sentence. Later, during the Story Mode conversations, Swann is then outraged/annoyed that Raynor made him cellmates with the Dominion scientist, Stetmann at which point Raynor retorts that if Swann can restrain himself from killing 'the motormouth', Raynor might let him out early on good behaviour. This humourous, unusual (not to mention cruel) punishment would in a sense highlight the lack of bad blood between the two.

Then, during the course of the campaign, through conversations with both individuals, you could reveal Stetmann and Swann slowly growing on one another (with the latter converting the former to the cause); culminating in a scene in Belly of the Beast where Raynor needs Stetmann (perhaps to help him secure the Artifact Kerrigan stole) at which point Swann objects, saying that 'the kid is too inexperienced to survive out in the field' and insist that he tags along to keep an eye on Stetmann.

I feel having conversations that reveal an evolving relationship between Swann and Stetmann would serve as a nice way of helping the ship feel more alive with things going on in the background and not only whenever Raynor is around. Moreover, it adds a more interesting dynamic to the Swann-Stetmann relationship that WoL sort of hinted at.

[Sheliek]

This is really, really good.

I'm wondering something about the mission count, however. When you said there will be the same number as in the original, did you mean 26, or 29, factoring in the choices?

[pure.Wasted]

No biggie. You could just set Stetmann up as the main info-dumper where the Artifact is concerned. For example, he could be the one who reveals/discovers the anti-Zerg properties of the Artifact during Zero Hour. And to spice it up, you could have him be an outsider; either a Moebius scientist who arrives just before the Zerg invasion to verify the Artifact or (better yet) a Dominion scientist that you either rescue during Zero Hour or kidnap during The Outlaws so ensure that the 'alien contraption doesn't 'splode on us'.

Love it. Once I get around to a re-write of the first section, this will definitely go in. The second section already takes it into account. Stettman was taken along with the artifact in The Outlaws.

The advantage with the latter is that it would provide an interesting contrast between Hanson and Stetmann (the former angry that the Dominion abandoned her while the other naively confdent that the Dominion will rescue him). He could then have a mini-arc of him slowly 'going native' after spending time amongst the Raiders. As for things to do, he could have a 'day in the limelight' mission by having the Tal'Darim show up to try and steal the Artifacts (instead of just threatening vengeance a la WoL) during which time Stetmann is forced to protect them since the entire Hyperion has been locked down for whatever reason.

Lastly, one idea I think would be really fun is if instead of simply pardoning Swann's mutiny with no repercussions, Raynor instead still allows them to work but require that they continue to live in the brig until they finish serving their sentence. Later, during the Story Mode conversations, Swann is then outraged/annoyed that Raynor made him cellmates with the Dominion scientist, Stetmann at which point Raynor retorts that if Swann can restrain himself from killing 'the motormouth', Raynor might let him out early on good behaviour. This humourous, unusual (not to mention cruel) punishment would in a sense highlight the lack of bad blood between the two.

Then, during the course of the campaign, through conversations with both individuals, you could reveal Stetmann and Swann slowly growing on one another (with the latter converting the former to the cause); culminating in a scene in Belly of the Beast where Raynor needs Stetmann (perhaps to help him secure the Artifact Kerrigan stole) at which point Swann objects, saying that 'the kid is too inexperienced to survive out in the field' and insist that he tags along to keep an eye on Stetmann.

I feel having conversations that reveal an evolving relationship between Swann and Stetmann would serve as a nice way of helping the ship feel more alive with things going on in the background and not only whenever Raynor is around. Moreover, it adds a more interesting dynamic to the Swann-Stetmann relationship that WoL sort of hinted at.

While I really, really, really like this idea, I'm not sure it fits into the campaign because of other logistical issues (Swann is needed elsewhere, etc). That said, once I'm finished, I'll look at a way of restructuring that would allow for this. Definitely a great way to add depth to both characters.

You mention introducing units that will have some sort of scope/advantage in the mission they're introduced in, yet I can't seem to be able to read that scope/advantage out of the missiondescriptions themselves.
I can see techwise, why we'd have medics, vultures, firebats so soon (it's the same stuff we had 4 years ago), but having (when that time comes) little sidedescriptions of what we'd use those units for, could be cool.
Also noting that the Siegetank is the unit I have most trouble imagining in its respective mission, due to the described gameplay, but ALSO due to the fact that the Crucio is new tech contrary to the Arclite we all know and love. ;P

This is a very good point and to address it I'm making a change in the way missions are described. I'm trying to explain units' origins better in Campaign dialogue, and I added a special "Tech" subsection to shed more light on this. I'll retro-fix these for Section One once I'm finished. Let me know if I'm doing well on this, or not yet well enough!

Also I think adding Kachinsky (just as Blizz did back in 2007) as the direct "voice" of the unsatisfied crew, could help putting Swann in that light of being unvolentarily the mutiny's leader. Kachinsky is a great character, a superskilled engineer and to the Hyperion an invaluable asset, but he also has his issues (his brother and all) so he is the more illtempered, and therefore also illogical at times, of the crewmen. Adding him would to me being spicying the already, by you, well established setting and mood aboard the Hyperion.

I'll look into this on re-write. Thanks.

This is really, really good.

I'm wondering something about the mission count, however. When you said there will be the same number as in the original, did you mean 26, or 29, factoring in the choices?

I meant 26, but that's not really necessary, since I'm taking advantage of the 2 bonus cinematics. I might throw in a few more missions once I'm done, if it seems appropriate.

[pure.Wasted]

SECTION TWO

Get ready, the action is ramping up and this stuff is getting intense.

A few notes:
1. Stettman was captured along with the Artifact in The Outlaws. He was working for the Dominion and spends the first few mid-campaign episodes in the Brig.
2. Before the Raiders leave Redstone in The Devil's Playground, but after Tosh has gone AWOL, one of the facilities is seen to explode. Raynor and Matt wonder what this means but have no idea.
3. New "tech" subsection under Missions provides more info on how a unit is relevant to that particular mission.
4. New "Set, Interactable Object" under Campaign provides more info on character motion from one mid-mission "episode" to another.

Campaign: HYPERION

Bridge, Matt: Matt says they ought to be glad to be rid of Tosh, especially given that Tosh didn’t stick to his end of the bargain in giving Raynor any useful information. He says that Ghosts just can’t be trusted, then realizes who he said that to and looks up to apologize, but Raynor cuts him off, agreeing bitterly. Raynor then says that at the very least, they now have enough money to pay off all their debts and maybe even recruit some reinforcements. Suddenly Matt picks up an incoming transmission – from Tosh.

Console, Tosh: Tosh apologizes for leaving Raynor out to dry, but says that something came up which required his personal attention. Raynor says that it doesn’t matter now as the two are free to go their separate ways, but Tosh says that their business is far from over, and Tosh is in fact already en route to rendezvous. Raynor is shocked, but Tosh explains that he left Raynor a little present in the cantina before they left, and Raynor will change his mind after he sees it. Raynor says “we’ll see” and leaves.

Cantina, Jukebox: The present is a hidden folder of intel on a Dominion operation on Tarsonis which reveals that they found some pre-war Confederate Adjutant and are preparing to ship it off-world. Raynor tells Matt that with all the bad publicity they’ve gotten lately between sabotaging Dominion rescue efforts and letting Kerrigan run off with one of the artifacts, they really need something to swing the tide against Mengsk before they can dethrone him.

Cantina, Tychus: Meanwhile, Tychus tells Raynor that another artifact has surfaced, this time without the Moebius Foundation’s help at all. Mengsk has brought two artifacts out of hiding and Warfield is actually using them to stage a credible defense of Terran space by pushing into key Zerg staging areas. Raynor explains that he has no interest in going after artifacts now and that his partnership with Tychus will have to be put on hold, but when Tychus doesn’t object and doesn’t really seem to care, Raynor is surprised.

Armory, Swann: Raynor tells Swann that he wants Swann on the ground for this upcoming mission to oversee the Adjutant’s safe recovery. Swann agrees.

MISSION 9: The Great Train Robbery

Objective: Intercept Dominion trains to retrieve the Confederate Adjutant; later, locate hidden installation.

Logistics: Raiders vs. Dominion on Tarsonis.

Tech: Recently hired mercenary Reapers used to stage mobile assaults on mobile targets (combined with previous mission’s Medivacs to keep them alive and out of danger.)

Story: The Raiders set up an outpost to hit as many of the trains as they can, with Swann on the ground but not engaging in the battle. Immediately upon arriving Matt notes a surprising amount of air traffic, including a number of Hercules-class Dropships landing at the central Dominion base, which Raynor suspects are there to cover up the Dominion’s true agenda in case anyone bothers to spy on them. While the Raiders are looking for the Adjutant, they keep finding all sorts of metals and what look to be high-tech construction implements. Swann looks over them and suggests that the Dropships are actually being used to ferry supplies and tools to what must be a hidden Dominion base. They locate the Adjutant and Swann OK’s it for transport, leaving. However, the Raiders remain, stealthily searching for this hidden factory, using Reapers to follow the trains around and by-passing heavily defended Dominion check-points to locate the entrance.

Result: Raiders grab the Adjutant and locate the secret Dominion base underneath Tarsonis.

CINEMATIC 8: Queen of Blades.

Tychus is looking up information on the Queen of Blades, prompted by some talk of Kerrigan since Raynor’s return to Tarsonis. Matt comes in and explains their history. Only change is that instead of focusing on what-Raynor-will-do we focus on the fact that Kerrigan is dead. The Queen of Blades isn’t Kerrigan. Jim’s accepted that and moved on. Tychus agrees, “only thing to do.”

Campaign: HYPERION

Armory, Swann: Swann reveals that he’s still decoding the Adjutant, so it's not yet available for viewing.

Bridge, Matt: Matt tells Raynor that Tosh is asking to board their ship, and asks if he should tell Tosh to screw off. Raynor hesitates. Matt reminds Raynor that all Tosh did was fulfill his end of the bargain, the two are now equal and Raynor doesn’t owe him anything. However, Raynor has made up his mind and he wants Tosh aboard.

Cargo Bay, Tosh: Tosh asks whether the present was good, and Raynor says that he doesn’t know yet, and doesn’t have time to find out. He reveals to Tosh the location of the underground Dominion factory. Then he says he wants Tosh to lead an undercover mission to find out what the facility is being used for, but under one condition: Tosh is going to have a few of Raynor’s men along for the ride to keep an eye on him.

Armory, Swann: Raynor asks Swann whether there’s any chance Swann could patch up some of the old Wraiths they still have lying around for one last hurrah. Swann agrees. Raynor asks if it might be theoretically possible to adapt one of the Wraiths’ cloak generators to something smaller, like... for example... a Marine suit? Swann says he’ll give it a try.

Cantina, Tychus: Raynor suggests that if Tychus isn’t doing anything anyway, he might as well go on a mission and keep an eye on Tosh for him. Knowing that it’s a mission to break into the Dominion facility, Tychus agrees immediately. Raynor grins, but says nothing else.

MISSION 10: Engine of Destruction

Objective: Find out more about the Valhalla facility; later, use the Odin to destroy Raynor’s base.

Logistics: Tychus and Tosh vs. Dominion in the Valhalla facility.

Tech: Cloaked Wraiths used to provide support for Tosh’s away party.

Story: Tychus is angry at Raynor for not warning him about the stealth portion of their mission. In fact, Tychus’s Marine suit is cloaked by a salvaged Wraith’s reactor, and he, Tosh, and a number of Wraiths are used to complete stealth-type objectives to discover the purpose of the installation. Swann contacts Raynor to let him know that he discovered some irregularities with Tychus’s suit while attaching the cloak reactor and is going over them now, and will call back once he’s finished. Once Tychus and Tosh find out about the Odin, Tosh says that he knows of Mengsk’s plans to unveil this thing only a few days from then. Raynor immediately hatches a plan to hijack the Odin without alerting the Dominion; first he asks Tychus for his assistance and says he knows it isn’t Tychus’s war to fight, but Tychus says he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t pilot this thing. Raynor tells Tosh and Tychus to continue making their way to the Odin, while Raynor will establish a forward base and attack the installation head-on, distracting them. Once the Odin is reached, Raynor will ask Tychus to commandeer it, but lay low and not do anything at all until a pilot is sent to use it against Raynor’s attacking party; at this point Tychus will engage the Raiders, pretending to be the pilot, but keep casualties to a minimum. Once the battle is over Tosh will snipe the pilot to tie up loose ends, while Tychus will remain cloaked inside the Odin for a few days awaiting its announcement. However, while this plan is happening, Swann contacts Raynor and tells him that he’s finished his analysis and has some bad news: Tychus’s suit is wired to go off, and has a beacon that sends a continuous uninterrupted transmission from its location to whoever’s watching. He suspects it was rewired by Dominion specialists. Raynor is shocked and says that there’s no way they’ll be able to escape if Tychus sides with the Dominion and doesn’t pull his punches, and orders Tosh to attempt to take him out if it appears Tychus has switched sides. However, the Odin pilot arrives and Tychus holds him hostage according to plan, and demolishes Raynor’s base with minimal casualties. The Raiders appear defeated but as they leave Tosh snipes the “pilot” to tie up loose ends.

Result: Raiders’ assault on the facility appears to have been stopped, but Tychus remained behind in the Odin and communications with him are down until Korhal.

Campaign: HYPERION

Armory, Swann: Swann tells Raynor that upon further study, it appears that the beacon in Tychus’s suit has been deactivated. He has no idea how Tychus managed to do that. Raynor says they won’t have any idea who’s side Tychus is on until the business on Korhal goes down, and by then it may be too late… but they’re committed.

Lab, Adjutant: Raynor views the Adjutant’s recordings and realizes he has a chance to stir up some crazy controversy if only he can make sure that UNN gets their hands on this “footage.”

Bridge, Matt: Raynor tells Matt what he discovered on the Adjutant. Matt says that there’s no way they can count on the UNN to air this, because they’re being paid off by Mengsk. Raynor says that if they make a big enough scene that everyone notices it, the UNN won’t have a choice. Matt says that the Hyperion would be shot out of the sky in seconds, but Raynor says he wants to use the Odin instead. He realizes it’s a suicide mission, but they only need the Odin to survive long enough to get to the UNN headquarters. Matt asks what happens if Tychus decides to switch sides mid-way through the plan, but Raynor doesn’t have an answer. Matt reiterates that it’s wrong to risk civilians’ lives (by distracting the Dominion and letting the Zerg hack away at other planets) for a chance at Mengsk.

Cantina, Tosh: Tosh approves of Raynor’s plan to go after Mengsk, but says that the Odin won’t be enough. It’s going to need some support that an army wouldn’t be able to provide (because the Dominion would just overrun it) – Tosh’s Ghosts. Mengsk has a bunch of them locked away in New Folsom, and if they can stage a break-out, Tosh is certain his crew will help them out.

Bridge, Matt: Matt has mixed feelings about Raynor’s plan. On the one hand, many of its occupants are rebels like themselves, or political prisoners… but on the other, he’s wary of Tosh, let alone a whole army of Toshes, and advises Raynor to be careful.

Lab, Stettman: Stettman says he’s surprised that Mengsk would run Hanson into the ground with de-Infestation research when it’s common knowledge that de-Infestation isn’t possible. Raynor asks what motives Mengsk could possibly have to keep scientists occupied with bogus research, but Stettman says he never heard of de-Infestation research to begin with.

Cargo Bay, Hanson: Raynor asks if there’s anything Hanson hasn’t told him about her dealings with Mengsk. Hanson says that she’s sorry she wasn’t entirely up front from the start, but there’s nothing more. If Mengsk had ulterior motives for her doing the research she did, she wouldn’t know, although it certainly supports the idea that he would want to tie her off as a loose end. As for Stettman’s claim to not have heard about de-Infestation research, Hanson wonders if they worked for the same Dominion. She never heard of artifacts, let alone artifact research, but all that means is Mengsk is as paranoid as ever about playing things close to his chest.

MISSION 11: Breakout

Goal: Break out Tosh’s Spectres.

Logistics: Tosh vs. Nova’s Dominion in New Folsom.

Tech: Tosh gains the use of all his abilities, and Spectres can be produced from this point on.

Story: As the break-out commences, Nova contacts Raynor warning him that Tosh is not who he appears to be. Tosh is actually a Spectre, a failed Ghost supertype that is unstable and addicted to Terrazine, a compound harvested at Terrazine facilities like the one on Redstone where Tosh went AWOL. She says that Raynor’s never crossed the line of letting innocents get hurt in the process of his rebellion before, and that’s why she’s made him less of a priority than Mengsk might have liked. She offers Raynor a chance to leave and let Tosh be apprehended. Raynor asks Tosh if this is true. Tosh says it’s true, but he was there to destroy the facility so that no new Spectres could be created, not steal Terrazine for himself. Matt says that it’s very convenient that the facility went up in flames, since now they’ll never know if any of the Terrazine went missing. Matt eagerly agrees with Nova. Raynor hesitates but says that they will never succeed without Tosh and continues the breakout. Nova engages in a duel-of-sorts with Tosh, making his job in Folsom more difficult. Nova puts up a credible fight and although Tosh gets to the Spectres, she stops the Raiders from getting to the other prisoners; Nova then says that she will let some of the political prisoners go in exchange for Tosh, and if Raynor doesn’t stop, she’ll kill them instead. Despite Matt’s objections, Raynor tells Tosh that the Hyperion isn’t going anywhere. Matt is shocked. As the Spectres escape from enclosing Dominion forces, Nova tells Raynor that she was only bluffing and didn’t intend to kill any innocents, and is surprised and disappointed by Raynor’s decision, forcing Raynor to doubt his decision. She disappears.

Result: Tosh’s Spectres rescued, civilian prisoners remain in Nova’s custody.

CINEMATIC 9: A Better Tomorrow

Tosh re-appears to congratulate Raynor on a job well done. Matt expresses his disgust with both of them, saying that the Raiders had a chance to rescue people who could change the world for the better and didn’t take it. Tosh asks Matt if killing Mengsk isn’t on the Raiders’ agenda, but Matt says that that’s only the beginning, and if they become monsters in their fight against Mengsk, the world they create won’t be worth saving, either. Raynor says that he finally has a chance to kill Mengsk for killing Kerrigan. Matt says he no longer wants any part of Raynor’s revolution and leaves the bridge.

Campaign: HYPERION

Cantina, Tosh: Raynor confronts Tosh about the Spectres and their need for Terrazine. Tosh says that while he may have lied to Raynor, he’s sure that Raynor knows to trust him because the one most important thing – their need to have vengeance against Mengsk – they share. He says that Nova was exaggerating and he has the Spectres perfectly under control.

Lab, Hanson: Raynor tells Hanson that they’re preparing an invasion of Korhal and it won’t be safe for her colonists aboard the Hyperion any longer. Hanson tells him that many of the evacuees from Meinhoff were settled on a new world called Haven, and asks Raynor to drop her people off there. He agrees.

MISSION 12: Media Blitz

Goal: Keep the Odin alive long enough for it to reach UNN headquarters.

Logistics: Tychus vs. Warfield’s Dominion on Korhal.

Tech: Thors used to soak up damage for the Odin.

Story: Moment of truth approaches: will Tychus betray the Raiders or not? Mengsk’s demonstration of the Odin begins. A pilot is sent in to commandeer it, but as soon as the pilot enters Tychus kills him and takes over, resuming communications with Raynor. Raynor is eased when he sees that Tychus appears to still be working with them. Raynor uses the initial distraction to set up an outpost. The Dominion forces, commanded by General Warfield, are too numerous to take on so the only option is to keep the Odin moving and repaired while Spectres temporarily sabotage Dominion offensive positions. Mengsk holograms challenge Raynor every step of the way, arousing public antipathy by reminding them that Raynor recently sabotaged the Dominion’s war efforts on Tyrador, and that it’s his fault Warfield has to defend Korhal instead of resuming his offensive against the Zerg. Raynor orders all of his troops to ignore the civilian rioters helping the Dominion and not harm them. One by one, some of Tosh’s Spectres go AWOL and begin to attack the rioters. Raynor is outraged with Tosh, but Tosh says he’s not responsible and that plenty of Spectres remain loyal to the Raiders. Warfield contacts Raynor, saying that he understands why Raynor might have a problem with Mengsk, but the Zerg invasion is a terrible time to stage a coup because of how many innocents end up dead in the process. Raynor counters heatedly that if Warfield helps him, the coup will end quickly and without many casualties. Warfield cuts communications. Tychus arrives at the UNN building and broadcasts a recording from Raynor for everyone to watch the UNN feed once the video has been transferred.

Result: The Odin delivers its cargo but Spectres have started to attack civilians.

Campaign: HYPERION

Bridge, Tosh: Tosh explains that the Spectres that assaulted civilians went rogue and he has no control over them. Raynor counters that Tosh said he could control his people, and that this is exactly what Matt predicted would happen. Tosh says that the Raiders can spin this situation to turn it into a PR disaster for Mengsk. He still has files on the Dominion’s Spectre program, and no one except Mengsk and Raynor knows that the Spectres went rogue. If Tosh spreads his intel to the UNN, which is going to town with the Adjutant’s recording already, all the Raiders have to do is kill these Spectres and they’ll be hailed as heroes by the civilian population. Raynor is dismayed by how quickly Tosh turned his back on his comrades, but Tosh explains that suppressing his urges is no easier for him than for them, and if he manages, they could have, too. Raynor is not happy with using civilian deaths to unfairly damage Mengsk’s reputation, but sees no alternative now that the situation has unfolded.

Armory, Swann: Raynor makes Swann commander of the Hyperion. Swann says that he doesn’t deserve that after his earlier actions, but Raynor says that this job might not be so much a privilege as a death sentence in light of the Raiders’ suicide mission. He says he needs somebody he can trust as they sail into uncharted waters. Swann accepts.

Cantina, TV: Mengsk blows off PR stunt after being confronted with Adjutant playback. Another update shows that Gaskerville has been pulled back to defend Korhal.

MISSION 13: Hearts and Minds

Goal: Take down Tosh’s rogue Spectres; later, keep the Bucephalus from escaping.

Logistics: Tychus and Raynor vs. Warfield and Gaskerville’s Dominion vs. Zerg on Korhal.

Tech: Dominion Banshees used to perform mobile attacks on Spectres.

Story: The Raiders are being pressured hard by the Dominion and forced to retreat. The Odin and other Thors are being used defensively. Warfield contacts Raynor and says that while the public might not know who’s behind the Spectre attacks, he does, and he warned Raynor that something like this would happen. On top of that, Gaskerville’s been forced to pull back from the front lines, which means the Zerg are back to having free reign of Dominion worlds, all because of Raynor. Now Warfield’s going to come after Raynor with everything he’s got. Meanwhile, Wraith/Banshee hunting parties are assembled to track down rogue Spectres and eliminate them. Their Cloak is useful for getting around Dominion forces, but they have to Decloak when they take out Spectres to make sure the public knows who’s saving them. To Raynor’s dismay, instead of focusing on the battle at hand, Gaskerville focuses on taking out the Raiders’ Wraith/Banshee squads to prevent them from getting any good publicity, regardless of the casualties this will bring about. When Raynor tries to appeal to Warfield’s humane sensibilities and asks him to pull Gaskerville back, Warfield scoffs and says Raynor should have worried about what dogs of hell could do before he unleashed them. Warfield says he holds Raynor responsible for every death, regardless of Gaskerville’s involvement. Mengsk contacts Raynor and tells him that Raynor’s crossed the line and there’s no going back, which Raynor readily agrees with. As the Raiders kill off the remaining Spectres, Swann says he’s picking up a Battlecruiser preparing to leave orbit: Mengsk’s flagship, the Bucephalus. Just as Raynor fears that there’s no way they’ll ever reach the Bucephalus in time to stop Mengsk, the Zerg assault begins, forcing the Dominion to back off ever so slightly. Raynor orders Tychus to go and keep the Bucephalus from taking to the air with the Odin’s missile barrage. Raynor drops the Hyperion down to the planet’s surface, taking heavy damage as he does this, ordering Swann to leave the moment the boarding party is clear of the Raiders’ base, which he does. Raynor assembles a force of Marines and departs with Tosh to intercept the Bucephalus before it can leave. Although the Odin is destroyed, Tychus manages to escape and joins them as they enter the docked Battlecruiser.

Result: Public turned against Mengsk with Raiders propaganda, Raiders’ base destroyed by Dominion forces who are in turn besieged by Zerg forces. Raynor, Tychus, and Tosh with Spectres in tow board the Bucephalus.

MISSION 14: Delicate Alliance

Goal: Locate and kill Mengsk; later, protect Valerian.

Logistics: Raynor, Tychus, and Tosh vs. Dominion vs. Zerg aboard the Bucephalus.

Tech: Ghosts.

Story: This is it, their chance to kill Mengsk. Raynor gives a speech about how everything they’ve done has led to this, and he’s only sad that not all of his friends are with him now to see this. They begin their assault, killing Dominion troops and personnel as they go. Swann contacts Raynor saying that a massive Zerg army is making its way toward the Bucephalus. Raynor says to sit tight and prepare some Dropships for evacuation, but Swann says he’s coming in after them. The Bucephalus is hit hard and Zerg begin streaming in from all directions. Raynor says that there’s absolutely no way they can keep going, so Tosh is going to have to sneak around and sabotage the ship and they can just leave Mengsk to his fate. Tosh agrees. The parties split up, Raynor going one way (a different escape area than where they started), Tosh another. The fight with Dominion and Zerg goes on. Raynor asks Tosh why he hasn’t crippled the ship yet, but Tosh reveals that that’s not good enough. He wants to see Mengsk die, kill him with his own hands. Raynor tells Tosh that he’s making a mistake and wasting their only shot. Raynor and Tychus are forced to keep making their way out and come across Nova. Although she could kill them both, she instead leads them to safety: Mengsk’s observatory, where the Dominion forces are holding off waves of Zerg. As Raynor prepares to put a bullet between Mengsk’s eyes despite it meaning certain death for him, Mengsk turns around to reveal that it’s in fact Valerian. Raynor is dumbfounded, asks where Arcturus is. Valerian asks Raynor what he thinks would have happened had Raynor found and shot Mengsk. He suggests that the same thing would have happened as did four years ago at Tarsonis: a power vacuum would be created. Only this time it would be even worse, because unlike last, there isn’t a single clear person to take over. There would be a huge civil war between people like himself and Gaskerville and Warfield and others, who have learned a lot of Machiavellian tricks by spending time around Mengsk, and in the meantime the Zerg would just destroy everybody. He asks Raynor if Raynor is prepared to lead the Dominion. Raynor is taken aback. Valerian says that if Raynor wants to take down Mengsk, something with which Valerian agrees, Raynor needs to place a bet on one racehorse or another before the race is already finished. Raynor says that it’s a lot to think about in the middle of an invasion, but decides to hold off on killing Valerian until they can hold off the Zerg. Nova says that if it were up to her, both he and Tychus would already be dead for unleashing Tosh and his Spectres. Meanwhile, Tosh’s Spectres are still killing Dominion troops. Raynor orders him to stand down and help them fight off the Zerg, but Tosh says that now it’s Raynor who’s wasting their one opportunity. Raynor unites with Dominion personnel and Nova’s Ghosts to fight back against the Zerg and Tosh’s Spectres. Swann contacts Raynor to tell him that the Zerg have been distracted by the Hyperion for the moment (and the Hyperion is taking heavy damage). While the Bucephalus is being cleared, Valerian asks Tychus why Tychus gave up on fulfilling his end of the bargain. Raynor is confused, Tychus grumbles that he’ll explain later. The Spectres are defeated but Tosh vanishes.

Result: Dominion and Raiders take back the Bucephalus from Zerg and kill off Spectres. Raynor and Tychus are considering Valerian’s request.

CINEMATIC 10: The Heir Apparent

Aboard the Bucephalus Zerg and Terran corpses are being carried off as Dominion personnel walk about examining the damage to the ship. Prompted by Valerian, Tychus explains that while he owes his mobility to Arcturus, he’s only free thanks to Valerian. Valerian intercepted him on his way out of prison and disabled the tracking device in his suit, as well as the death-trap mechanism, while offering Tychus a way to make some money by bringing him artifacts that his father had stolen from him. Tychus suggests that it was only an offer, and besides, he gave it a shot. Valerian then explains that he wants Raynor’s help in dethroning his father, but the first step in doing that isn’t killing Mengsk, it’s killing the Zerg and winning total public approval for Raynor’s “race horse.” He says that not only can he get Warfield behind him in a push against the Zerg, he even has an artifact hidden away that his father didn’t know about. He says that if the artifacts are combined, they grow in power, and if they can get all of them together, they can kill Kerrigan for good. Raynor’s mouth opens – he didn’t even think that possible. While they’re talking, the door behind them opens. They look up but there’s no one there. Without hesitation, Tychus lifts up his rifle and unloads a magazine into the air. A baliset falls to the floor. Tosh materializes out of cloak and falls over, dead. Tychus turns to Valerian and says, “Now we’re even.”

END OF SECTION TWO

As before, feedback is welcome!

[Turalyon]

You should change your name to pure.Win!!

It's great to see some tension between the characters - it really propels the narrative forward. Good to see that the little-used characters of Warfield and Nova being more fleshed out. It's nice to see to see their perspective given that they are the Dominion and the "enemy". It's a great way to dovetail into the introduction of Valerian.

Not too sure about Raynor letting Swann be in command of the Hyperion - it's a bit of a stretch. I know Raynor is showing his faith in/forgiving Swann by doing this, but I don't think Swann has the chops/skills or experience to be in command of a ship. Maybe you should have had Matt make a comeback somewhere during the Zerg attack on the Hyperion and Bucaphelus to show his solidarity to Raynor despite being let down by Raynors decision at New Folsom and the fact that he's a more able captain than Swann.
I know that'd be hard to do considering the focus is on Raynor in your Mission 13.

I have a question (you didn't answer it before) about the character of Hill and his mercenary contracts. I know he has no part really in WoLs story but he does have more of a purpose in the game than, say Kachinsky. Any thoughts on expanding his role?

Aside from that, awesome stuff. Keep it up. Can't wait for the continuation.

[pure.Wasted]

Side-note: I'll be cinematificationing all of my cinematics at some later date. So far some of my choices have been kind of arbitrary, and they haven't all been as visually exciting as they could be, so I'll be looking to do some restructing there once everything else is in place. Consider the cinematics more rough-draft than everything else.

Not too sure about Raynor letting Swann be in command of the Hyperion - it's a bit of a stretch. I know Raynor is showing his faith in/forgiving Swann by doing this, but I don't think Swann has the chops/skills or experience to be in command of a ship. Maybe you should have had Matt make a comeback somewhere during the Zerg attack on the Hyperion and Bucaphelus to show his solidarity to Raynor despite being let down by Raynors decision at New Folsom and the fact that he's a more able captain than Swann.
I know that'd be hard to do considering the focus is on Raynor in your Mission 13.

I like the idea of Matt coming back in the nick of time, but I keep coming back to this feeling that I thought about it and discarded it for some reason. But now I can't remember the reason, so maybe it wasn't a good one! Hm. I'll think about it, definitely. As for Swann... the thing is, mainly I want Raynor to come in and find a replacement for Matt, because the Hyperion is going to be taking heavy fire so there needs to be SOMEONE at the helm while he's potentially on the ground. The problem is that there just isn't anyone besides Swann. He and Matt are the only two core Raiders other than Raynor, and it's too early for Matt to come back seeing as how Raynor hasn't begun to see the error of his ways just yet. But I'll keep these scenes in mind for re-writes.

edit: something that I maybe didn't emphasize as much as I should have. Raynor making Swann captain is supposed to be obviously a temporary decision, just so that he's got someone at the helm he can trust. It's not a long-term career move, so Swann's leadership (or lack thereof) shouldn't be a big concern. Just his ability to keep the Hyperion from blowing up within the following 24 hours.

I have a question (you didn't answer it before) about the character of Hill and his mercenary contracts. I know he has no part really in WoLs story but he does have more of a purpose in the game than, say Kachinsky. Any thoughts on expanding his role?

Honestly, I've given him zero thought so far, so it's not promising. But I'll keep him in mind. The problem is that there's only so many things to do with Terran rebel characters... you have Swann who's sort of living from day to day. You have Tosh who wants vengeance. You have Matt who wants a pretty world with flowers and butterflies. You have Tychus who just wants to be left alone. And you have Raynor who's sort of straddling all of these.

And all of their arcs play out in this "section two" segment (though not exclusively). I don't want to make it even heavier so if I add something for Mr. Hill it would have to be something for either Section 1 (back to mutiny) or Sections 3/4 (lots and lots of other delicious things). We'll see, I suppose. Mutiny's not out of the question, though I'd have to find a rationale for keeping him around for the rest of the campaign, since mercenaries don't go out of style!

[Alex06]

Side-note: I'll be cinematificationing all of my cinematics at some later date. So far some of my choices have been kind of arbitrary, and they haven't all been as visually exciting as they could be, so I'll be looking to do some restructing there once everything else is in place. Consider the cinematics more rough-draft than everything else.



I like the idea of Matt coming back in the nick of time, but I keep coming back to this feeling that I thought about it and discarded it for some reason. But now I can't remember the reason, so maybe it wasn't a good one! Hm. I'll think about it, definitely. As for Swann... the thing is, mainly I want Raynor to come in and find a replacement for Matt, because the Hyperion is going to be taking heavy fire so there needs to be SOMEONE at the helm while he's potentially on the ground. The problem is that there just isn't anyone besides Swann. He and Matt are the only two core Raiders other than Raynor, and it's too early for Matt to come back seeing as how Raynor hasn't begun to see the error of his ways just yet. But I'll keep these scenes in mind for re-writes.

edit: something that I maybe didn't emphasize as much as I should have. Raynor making Swann captain is supposed to be obviously a temporary decision, just so that he's got someone at the helm he can trust. It's not a long-term career move, so Swann's leadership (or lack thereof) shouldn't be a big concern. Just his ability to keep the Hyperion from blowing up within the following 24 hours.



Honestly, I've given him zero thought so far, so it's not promising. But I'll keep him in mind. The problem is that there's only so many things to do with Terran rebel characters... you have Swann who's sort of living from day to day. You have Tosh who wants vengeance. You have Matt who wants a pretty world with flowers and butterflies. You have Tychus who just wants to be left alone. And you have Raynor who's sort of straddling all of these.

And all of their arcs play out in this "section two" segment (though not exclusively). I don't want to make it even heavier so if I add something for Mr. Hill it would have to be something for either Section 1 (back to mutiny) or Sections 3/4 (lots and lots of other delicious things). We'll see, I suppose. Mutiny's not out of the question, though I'd have to find a rationale for keeping him around for the rest of the campaign, since mercenaries don't go out of style!

Keep in mind, that, in the comic book, which takes place shortly before SC1, Raynor got ahold of the War Pigs and had them join him on his ship, so he should at least have access to those Mercenaries.