The Wings of Liberty Project

[topsecret221]

Quite good. The deaths really threw me off; didn't think Stettman would bite the dust, and Selendis sacrificing herself sounds like a badass cinematic (though I have a feeling she's going to be integral to LotV).

Overall, though, I would be perfectly satisfied if this is what Blizz presented us with, maybe one or two passes over to make sure they didn't miss anything.

EDIT: Oh, we still need Nova to switch loyalties back to Arcturus' side and to get the Zerg off of Korhal. Otherwise they directly conflict with HotS.

I may have missed it, but... did that Adjutant ever end up doing anything?

[pure.Wasted]

Quite good. The deaths really threw me off; didn't think Stettman would bite the dust, and Selendis sacrificing herself sounds like a badass cinematic (though I have a feeling she's going to be integral to LotV).

I was definitely conflicted over both of those. I felt like WOL simply hadn't upped the stakes high enough given that this is the end of days and all that, but I had no idea how important these characters would turn out to be in the future, especially Selendis. But 'if this had been done' they could have just come up with another Protoss character for LOTV to take her place. Whatever.

EDIT: Oh, we still need Nova to switch loyalties back to Arcturus' side and to get the Zerg off of Korhal. Otherwise they directly conflict with HotS.

I may have missed it, but... did that Adjutant ever end up doing anything?

Yeah, Nova's a bit weird in this campaign in general. I like her antagonism with Raynor over Tosh but she can't just be Valerian's bodyguard. As for the Adjutant, it was dealt with very quickly - the Adjutant fulfills the same exact role in this campaign that it does in the original, it provides the Raiders with Confederate-stamped voice recording of Mengsk throwing everyone to the wolves.

[Turalyon]

Well done!

I like your take on Warfield finally doing something to justify his position as well as providing an insight to how Valerian was able to take half the fleet. At the least, it was a chance to see it rather than have it conveniently mentioned in a throw-away line by Mengsk and have us just swallow it. I would have preferred Valerian to have come in and saved the day with his speech rather than Raynor though. Given that Valerian is supposed to be the better alternative for the leadership of the Terrans and has more clout in swaying Dominion soldiers than Raynor would, it would have also been a good demonstration of Valerian's capability rather than having his competence and "goodness" assumed like WoL does.

I also like how you pile in Mengsks and Protoss involvement in the final battle. Not having two of Kerrigan's two main enemies a stake or even attempting anything overtly when given the chance to was a criminal oversight in the original WoL.

I lol'd at Stettman's death. It's almost as if you realised he didn't really have much of story aside from mechanical plot advancement and decided that killing him off would be good form of character development for him.

Good to see that keeping Hanson around had a pay-off (as I knew it would), though it could've been a little more than her croaking two words and then dying. Perhaps making her more instrumental in getting that last artifact in Mission 27 would've helped since that mission read like a cake walk for Raynor and co. when it should have been the most heavily defended area. I assume Kerrigan's knows the importance of these artifacts and would have had done anything to stop someone from collecting all the pieces - especially when she had one of her own.

The ending cinematic will always seem like a bit of a fizzer compared to the stuff that happens in the mission/cinematic that preceded it (a gigantic Nydus Worm snatching a Motership out of the air!?! Jeez Louise!). Other than that, it was suitably epic and, more importantly and unlike WoL, lived up to it's "epicness".

[DarthYam]

Heart of the swarm had potential (Kerrigan's desire for vengeance was understandable and I LOVED that when she got called out it was ultimately the catalyst that motivated her to become a full time hero (she was genuinely shocked when Raynor intervened so I think it was his presence reminded her what her myopia had cost her (a chance at a normal life, happiness, any chance with the man she loves etc) and that this display of genuine selflessness and showing that she had learned was what showed once and for all that she was not the queen of blades that caused so much suffering in brood war). However, I think Kerrigan's route should be different. She should have a full memory of what she did (all the lives she destroyed, all the atrocities she committed, Raynor's vow ). As such, she is torn between a desire to make Mengsk pay for what he did to her, but at the same time she's afraid that she might revert to her old self, since she doesn't know how much was the over mind's tinkering/Amon's taint and how much was her own anger and rage). At the same time, she has identity issues, since for the first time in her life she isn't being influenced (in brood war the infestation/amon's taint had a part influencing her, which was probably why she spared mengsk). She has to balance human and zerg, and her possible role as the only one who can save all life from the flames.

[pure.Wasted]

I like your take on Warfield finally doing something to justify his position as well as providing an insight to how Valerian was able to take half the fleet. At the least, it was a chance to see it rather than have it conveniently mentioned in a throw-away line by Mengsk and have us just swallow it.

Yeah, that mission did a lot of heavy lifting for me. Added a lot of verisimilitude, made the early Raiders vs. Dominion focus relevant again, brought Gaskerville back into play, made Mengsk into a (pseudo-)credible antagonist and reminded us why we hate him, added some dimensions to Warfield.

I would have preferred Valerian to have come in and saved the day with his speech rather than Raynor though. Given that Valerian is supposed to be the better alternative for the leadership of the Terrans and has more clout in swaying Dominion soldiers than Raynor would, it would have also been a good demonstration of Valerian's capability rather than having his competence and "goodness" assumed like WoL does.

This is a really interesting idea, especially because I feel Valerian doesn't have much to do towards the end of my campaign. The reason I went with Raynor is I wanted a more compelling reason for a decorated general like Warfield to start respecting Raynor than 'he saved my life.' I did make a conscious effort to portray Valerian's goodness in how helpful he is throughout the Haven arc by providing Science Vessels, Dropships, and Vikings for the battles, and showing up on the front lines to fight Selendis and, on Char, to protect her. The intent was definitely there, I think I might have underplayed it by not providing a clear moment where Raynor - or the population at large - really say, wow, this guy is the real deal. In terms of public appeal, getting his speech to the military broadcast on the news immediately afterwards would be a fantastic way to rally everyone behind him.

I also like how you pile in Mengsks and Protoss involvement in the final battle. Not having two of Kerrigan's two main enemies a stake or even attempting anything overtly when given the chance to was a criminal oversight in the original WoL.

Agreed. It's great from a storytelling perspective because it introduces complications and heightens stakes, it allows Kerrigan to look scary by taking out some supporting players like Gaskerville and Selendis. And from a gameplay perspective, it allows you to switch things up from the same old TvZ.

I lol'd at Stettman's death. It's almost as if you realised he didn't really have much of story aside from mechanical plot advancement and decided that killing him off would be good form of character development for him.

What are you talking about, Stettman totally has character development throughout the entire campaign! Did you miss my one sentence explanation that he had character development throughout the entire campaign?! ;D

Good to see that keeping Hanson around had a pay-off (as I knew it would), though it could've been a little more than her croaking two words and then dying. Perhaps making her more instrumental in getting that last artifact in Mission 27 would've helped since that mission read like a cake walk for Raynor and co. when it should have been the most heavily defended area. I assume Kerrigan's knows the importance of these artifacts and would have had done anything to stop someone from collecting all the pieces - especially when she had one of her own.

This idea is so good, I considered it, and ruled it out, because... ... ... the missions used to be arranged in a different order and it didn't work. Hmm. When I rearranged stuff, I forgot to reconsider this option. It would be cool to have a former Zerg as a guide leading them through the caverns. Her health would be deteriorating throughout the mission, leading to her death at the end instead of Stettman's. And to keep the doom and gloom vibe of 'Place of Death' going, it would be clear from the start that her return to normalcy is short-lived and will lead to her death as her body fails to cope with her Zerg half dying off.

The ending cinematic will always seem like a bit of a fizzer compared to the stuff that happens in the mission/cinematic that preceded it (a gigantic Nydus Worm snatching a Motership out of the air!?! Jeez Louise!). Other than that, it was suitably epic and, more importantly and unlike WoL, lived up to it's "epicness".

I'm glad you got a kick out of that Godzilla vs. Mothra bit. I was concerned it was over the top, but really, this is Kerrigan's last ditch defense of Char. It SHOULD be over the top. It SHOULD look like she's turning the very land against the invaders.

The real snag with the last cinematic was the dialogue between Tychus and Raynor, which was presumably all brought to glorious 3d life before the game's plot was figured out. Mengsk's face doesn't appear so his lines could have been subbed out for Valerian's for my plot arc to work, but Tychus explicitly states that his deal with 'the devil' stands, the reason he's going to kill Kerrigan is to get his freedom. Because this was just a creative exercise, it reeeally doesn't matter, and I'm glad you enjoy how my version of it would have capped off the campaign.

Thanks for the feedbaxx.

[Visions of Khas]

This is all wonderfully done. Have you ever thought about writing up your own campaign independent of the main storyline?

- - - Updated - - -

This is all wonderfully done. Have you ever thought about writing up your own campaign independent of the main storyline?

[pure.Wasted]

This is all wonderfully done. Have you ever thought about writing up your own campaign independent of the main storyline?

Thanks. Realistically, that's just too much effort for something that's not going to get produced. I haven't played Gradius's campaign yet because my laptop is on its deathbed, but I read that it took him 3 freaking years for 8 missions. That's iiiinnnnssssaaaannneeee. All the kudos in the world to him for sticking with it, but I wouldn't be able to, and I don't think the state of SC2 mapmaking is such that good map makers are fighting over the chance to produce other peoples' campaigns.

[Turalyon]

The reason I went with Raynor is I wanted a more compelling reason for a decorated general like Warfield to start respecting Raynor than 'he saved my life.'

Thing is, Warfield strikes me more of an "action speaks louder than words" kinda man being a life-long military grunt. If he was so inclined to side with ideologically "good" people, he would've left Mengsk's side long ago. I think that Raynor, physically proving his worth and saving men on the battlefield (and dispelling the propaganda of being a "bad, bad man" by Mengsk) on Char would be something more than compelling enough for Warfield to respect. Being compelling for the audience is another matter...

I did make a conscious effort to portray Valerian's goodness in how helpful he is throughout the Haven arc by providing Science Vessels, Dropships, and Vikings for the battles, and showing up on the front lines to fight Selendis and, on Char, to protect her. The intent was definitely there, I think I might have underplayed it by not providing a clear moment where Raynor - or the population at large - really say, wow, this guy is the real deal. In terms of public appeal, getting his speech to the military broadcast on the news immediately afterwards would be a fantastic way to rally everyone behind him.

In WoL, Raynor strikes me more as a pragmatic anti-hero rather than an out-and-out "good guy" hero persona. Valerian seems to be a better fit for the latter. Having Raynor taking this spotlight here not potentially undermines Valerian (it makes one think that Raynor should be Emperor of the Terrans rather than Valerian) but it somewhat artificially hyper-inflates Raynor's importance and capability to superhuman levels because it seems like he can do every/anything. I know the campaign is supposed to be centred around Raynor but that shouldn't be an excuse for him to be the right man for every occasion.

What are you talking about, Stettman totally has character development throughout the entire campaign! Did you miss my one sentence explanation that he had character development throughout the entire campaign?! ;D

Hah! That should be your next assignment - making Stettman a truly compelling character. I wouldn't wish that task on anyone.

This idea is so good, I considered it, and ruled it out, because... ... ... the missions used to be arranged in a different order and it didn't work. Hmm. When I rearranged stuff, I forgot to reconsider this option. It would be cool to have a former Zerg as a guide leading them through the caverns. Her health would be deteriorating throughout the mission, leading to her death at the end instead of Stettman's. And to keep the doom and gloom vibe of 'Place of Death' going, it would be clear from the start that her return to normalcy is short-lived and will lead to her death as her body fails to cope with her Zerg half dying off.

Can't see why you couldn't just implement this. Wouldn't ruin the arrangement or ordering of your missions in anyway that I can see. Would be a good way to reinforce the idea that deinfestation can make people good again throughout the mission (not that I generally like the idea - it would be workable and be justifiable in the framework of where Sc2 is going).

I was concerned it was over the top, but really, this is Kerrigan's last ditch defense of Char.

It is over-the-top but I think its audaciousness also happens to leaven the revelation of de-infesting Kerrigan that follows soon after. After seeing that "impossibility", the isolated idea of Kerrigan being deinfested didn't faze me as much as it did because it came soon after and was comparatively less shocking/distracting. I expect a lot of people won't agree with me though here....

Mengsk's face doesn't appear so his lines could have been subbed out for Valerian's for my plot arc to work, but Tychus explicitly states that his deal with 'the devil' stands, the reason he's going to kill Kerrigan is to get his freedom.

There's nothing in there to say that the devil can't be Valerian if you can sub in those lines. Maybe Valerian doesn't really care whether Kerrigan lives or dies as being the one responsible for getting rid of her one way or another makes good PR no matter how you spin it and that killing Kerrigan means one less potential future complication to deal with. Sure, it's a bit repetitive to have yet another Mengsk that is evil and Raynor was duped again but lord, that would be a shocking twist of the knife in Raynor's back if it were Valerian though!

[pure.Wasted]

Thing is, Warfield strikes me more of an "action speaks louder than words" kinda man being a life-long military grunt. If he was so inclined to side with ideologically "good" people, he would've left Mengsk's side long ago. I think that Raynor, physically proving his worth and saving men on the battlefield (and dispelling the propaganda of being a "bad, bad man" by Mengsk) on Char would be something more than compelling enough for Warfield to respect. Being compelling for the audience is another matter...

I think the truth is somewhere in between. Warfield has to be an idealist, otherwise why in the world would he side with Valerian? The options are: he's an idealist, he's a reckless, gungho war nut who can't pass up the first opportunity to go to Char that comes his way, or he's a cunning politico who realizes that Valerian is going to win and wants to hop on that bandwagon while the hopping is good. The first seems by far the most likely. Having said that, I agree that he's an actions speak louder than words type of guy. I think a good fix would be to give Valerian the final speech there, and repurpose his conflict with Raynor to be over who is competent to be the main leader of the Char invasion.

Valerian puts them on equal footing, whereas Warfield thinks he, being a decorated general, should have supreme authority. When Raynor succeeds at establishing the foothold on Char, and then saves Warfield's life, Warfield demonstrates his newfound respect for Raynor's leading ability by basically saying "I'm going to go off planet to get my injuries looked at, I trust you to hold the fort while I'm gone."

I think this gives him a much stronger arc and still fits really well with his basic characterization. What do you think?

Can't see why you couldn't just implement this. Wouldn't ruin the arrangement or ordering of your missions in anyway that I can see. Would be a good way to reinforce the idea that deinfestation can make people good again throughout the mission (not that I generally like the idea - it would be workable and be justifiable in the framework of where Sc2 is going).

Yeah, it's totally doable at this point. I don't like de-infestation either, but at least, as you say, this way it's set up as a thing that can and does happen based on some flimsy scientific reasoning.

There's nothing in there to say that the devil can't be Valerian if you can sub in those lines. Maybe Valerian doesn't really care whether Kerrigan lives or dies as being the one responsible for getting rid of her one way or another makes good PR no matter how you spin it and that killing Kerrigan means one less potential future complication to deal with. Sure, it's a bit repetitive to have yet another Mengsk that is evil and Raynor was duped again but lord, that would be a shocking twist of the knife in Raynor's back if it were Valerian though!

That goes a little bit against my intention of leaving things at the end of the campaign exactly how the actual WOL left them. It's tough, but definitely solveable if I was actually doing a second draft. I'd have to change Tychus's arc though. The way I saw it, the second half of the campaign boils down to Tychus saying "this is all retarded, I'm just going to kill Kerrigan because that's what we're supposed to do" and Raynor saying "this is all retarded, I'm just going to save Kerrigan because that's what I want to do," and then at the very end Raynor does come to appreciate the bigger picture so he's not just doing it for himself anymore. But this is all academic. This campaign isn't going anywhere.

[Turalyon]

I think this gives him a much stronger arc and still fits really well with his basic characterization. What do you think?

I fully agree with this change.

That goes a little bit against my intention of leaving things at the end of the campaign exactly how the actual WOL left them. It's tough, but definitely solveable if I was actually doing a second draft. I'd have to change Tychus's arc though.

Yeah, it's all kind of pie in the sky at this point by I wonder what you think of all the conspiracy theories about Valerian actually being behind everything that Tychus was doing - down to mimicking his voice - all in an attempt to play everyone? Aside from it lacking plausibility and stretching suspension of disbelief, one could still retain the cinematics as they were if that were the case. Of course I wouldn't expect the reveal of such in WoL - it could be potential sequel bait to have it revealed that it was Valerian and not Mengsk Senior that was pulling Tychus's string along.