The Wings of Liberty Project

[pure.Wasted]

It's one thing to say that something can be done better. It's another thing to prove it. Back when WOL just came out, we were dishing out a lot of feedback, and there was the heaps of praise and the heaps of complaints, but over-all it was pretty balanced. But as they say, people who are happy have no reason to say anything, so as time passed everyone who's perfectly satisfied has gone away to keep playing their game, and the only people left are those who have a bone to pick. I don't think that creates a good environment for fostering productive, constructive criticism, so I decided to go a little bit above and beyond the norm. I decided to rewrite Wings of Liberty.

First, some of my goals:

-Utilize missions for more than fun gameplay and basic plot progression.

I can think of five WOL missions that have genuinely unpredictable moments -- out of 25! (For anyone who's keeping track, I'm talking about Cutthroat, The Moebius Factor, Gates of Hell, A Sinister Turn, and Echoes of the Future) Think of WC3: Arthas kills Muradin and the mission takes a completely different turn. Maiev watches Tyrande float away downriver and the mission takes a completely different turn. Over and over. In WOL, every single other mission involves a Briefing where the player is told what will happen, and then a mission where the player executes the plan from the Briefing. In effect, the missions are entirely skippable filler (despite being as enjoyable as they are). Character development takes place entirely off-mission. I want to show that not taking advantage of in-mission events to cause conflict and development is a mistake.

-Provide a sense of scale and demonstrate the full extent of the war.

This is apparently the "Second Great War" we're fighting, but the only mission that feels remotely like it, outside of the ones set on Char, is The Moebius Factor. Which is strange in and of itself given that Raynor shouldn't have an army big enough to fight a war yet. I want to show that, despite the fact that Raynor is only engaging in guerilla tactics, there is a massive war effort going on all around him. That means going out of your way to remind players about it all the time.

-Portray Kerrigan and the Dominion as credible, fearsome antagonists, and emphasize the small scale of Raynor's guerilla warfare.

Part of the problem with predictable mission design is that you feel like you're always winning. If the objective doesn't change, you go in knowing what you need to do, and you come out having succeeded in that. It inadvertently makes the player character seem omnipotent, and the antagonists weak and incompetent. I want to show that it's necessary to go out of your way to show just how credible an antagonist is, so that the stakes feel appropriately high.

-Make every side-story feed into the primary story in a meaningful way.

Not only did WOL feature a whole slew of side plots (Hanson, Tosh) that went nowhere, it had two separate main stories (Mengsk, Kerrigan) that weren't even that well connected. My goal is to demonstrate how easy it is to weave these plot strands together and use the time allotted to each character's development wisely.

-Force Raynor and the other characters into situations where their morals are put to the test.

A WOL cinematic, "Who We Choose To Be" has Matt admonishing Raynor for drinking heavily as of late. He implies that the drinking has affected Raynor's judgment. First, we haven't seen any of the drinking. Second, Raynor hasn't made any bad calls, which means Matt is just being a dick. There's nothing wrong with a protagonist who makes mistakes because he's forced to act with no time to consider all the implications of his actions. But if he's wrong, he should be wrong, and there should be consequences for it. If Raynor is drinking on the job, somebody should lose their life over it. He should be drunk when he talks to Selendis, making her think twice about respecting his opinion (and him) over Haven's fate. Otherwise, it's just a lot of movement on the same spot.

To make this exercise have some measure of value (so it isn't pure fanwank), I decided to restrict my abilities in re-writing the campaign. My rationale here is, the more things I change, the easier it is to say "well sure you could make a fantasy campaign that's perfect, but under the conditions for WOL that just wasn't possible." My goal is to show that it WAS possible, so I will make as few fundamental changes as possible. Here are some of the restrictions:

-Missions must introduce new units.

Blizzard obviously set "fun gameplay" as a top priority, so I won't compromise that. Every mission (with a few exceptions, just like WOL 1.0) will introduce a brand new unit and will feature some gameplay element tailored to it.

-Same number of missions and cinematics.

Pretty obvious here, yeah the campaign could be better if only we had a trillion cinematics, but that's not realistic. Going under isn't really a danger, but going over is, and I'll make sure not to do that.

-No subtractions from the plot, only additions.

This is the big one. The really big one. I can't just cut Hanson because I think she's taking up time we'd rather spend with Valerian. I have to find a way to make her story meaningful, rather than sidestep the issue completely. This is just to emphasize that the tools to create a superior campaign were already available to Blizzard. The other side of this is... you guessed it, if the original had a Prophecy in it, so will mine. Yeah. Sucks. I know. But, first of all, I have no idea how important a role the Prophecy (or Plot_Device_234) will be in upcoming expansions, so I can't just nix something that's absolutely essential to what's around the corner. Second, and more importantly, I'm not here to tell the story of my SC2. I'm here to tell the story of Blizzard's SC2... hopefully, better. So Galaxy-consuming evils are still in, Prophecies are still in, Kerrigan's deinfestation is still in. If Mengsk didn't die in Blizzard's WOL, he can't die in mine.

-No switching the focus off of Raynor.

It's tempting to say that "if only we'd had more face time with important characters as opposed to nobodies like Stettman and Graven Hill, the campaign would have been so much better!" It might even be accurate. But, as above, it wouldn't be Blizzard's WOL campaign. I'm here to show how little (of the RIGHT KIND of) work it takes to do what they were trying to do right. Not to prove that what they were trying to do was wrong to begin with. (Although this is in some respects true, and I'll be following up this re-write with an analysis of flaws I've found to be inherent to WOL's fundamental concepts.)

The one thing you might note is suspiciously absent from this list of restrictions is sticking to the "choose your own destiny" approach to campaign design. Because that is the one and only thing I am doing away with completely. There's no getting around it, Blizzard screwed this bit up real bad. If you want player choice, you have to find a way to make the story feel dynamic (as opposed to WOL's characters running in circles from one plot to the next), you have to find a way to make characters develop, you have to find a way to keep the stakes high, you have to find a way to make the choices seem meaningful as opposed to "choice for the sake of choice." It's a big headache, and I'm going to work with a strictly linear narrative. You can see now why I'm so hesitant to not work with restrictions. "Well OF COURSE you can make a great campaign without player choice, anyone can do that," just comes immediately to mind, doesn't it? Thankfully, that's not entirely true in this case. Even if we imagine a fully linear, good campaign, with all that that implies, at best that can only hope to auto-solves my goals 4 and 5. 1, 2, and 3 are not affected in the slightest, and they are just as (if not more) important to what I've set out to do.

Naturally, feedback of all sorts is welcome. It's not going to be perfect, it's not even going to be perfectly consistent with the goals I set out for myself. But I'm just one guy writing this over a couple of evenings. I don't get paid to spend months thinking about it. The point isn't to say "this is the best thing ever," it's to showcase a lot of subtler changes and to view WOL's successes, and failures, through their lens.

[pure.Wasted]

SECTION ONE

Cinematic 1: THE DEAL

Tychus suits up with Mengsk voice-over. "Hell, it's about time."

Cinematic 2: PUBLIC ENEMY

Raynor reminisces over Kerrigan’s photo in Joeyray’s Bar. On the news, Mengsk proclaims that Raynor is a wanted fugitive and a terrorist. The interview is interrupted by a live broadcast wherein Mengsk states that Backwater Station and all other Mar Saran colonies are under martial law starting immediately and that citizens are under strict orders to obey the commands of Dominion personnel “for their own security.” Raynor is incensed by Mengsk’s unprovoked hostility and decides to stage his come-back.

Mission 1: LIBERATION DAY

Objective: Rescue civilians from Dominion occupation.

Logistics: Raynor vs. Mengsk’s Dominion on Mar Sara. Tech: Marine.

Story: Raynor discovers that civilians all across Backwater Station are being forced to perform manual labor for the Dominion (ie, carrying supplies) and herded into Dropships against their will. Mengsk holograms appear throughout to remind citizens to follow instructions of Dominion personnel and other sorts of propaganda. One confronts Raynor, saying that Raynor doesn’t know what he’s getting involved in and should back down. Raynor promptly shoots it in the face. He successfully rescues civilians and drives the Dominion back.

Result: Dominion outpost destroyed, Dominion personnel (dropships) chased off, civilians rescued.

Cinematic 3: OLD TIMES

Tychus appears in Joeyray’s Bar and informs Raynor that the reason the Dominion has instituted martial law is to assist with the recovery of an alien artifact they uncovered. Tychus’s employers gave him the location of said artifact, giving the two an opportunity to make some cash to fund Raynor’s revolution while hitting Mengsk where it hurts. Raynor agrees.

Campaign: JOEYRAY’s BAR

Mission 2: THE OUTLAWS

Objective: Liberate alien artifact.

Logistics: Raynor and Tychus vs. Gaskerville’s Dominion on Mar Sara. Tech: Medic.

Story: The Dominion is setting up a surprisingly fortified outpost around the artifact and an immediate frontal assault is the Raiders’ only chance of getting their hands on it. Even more surprisingly, Mengsk has actually dispatched one of his generals to oversee the excavation, and even more Dominion ships are en route forcing them to act quickly. Raynor becomes suspicious of what Tychus has gotten him involved with, but can’t say no to a chance to hurt Mengsk, and they steal the artifact. Gaskerville begins to herd all nearby civilians into dropships and leaves the planet.

Result: Artifact stolen, Dominion personnel chased off.

Campaign: JOEYRAY’s BAR

Mission 3: ZERO HOUR

Objective: Rescue civilians and hold out for 30 minutes.

Logistics: Raynor and Tychus vs. Zerg on Mar Sara. Tech: Vulture.

Story: The Zerg begin their invasion of Mar Sara. Raynor puts two and two together and realizes that Mengsk was preparing for the invasion, and was actually attempting to evacuate the population of Mar Sara before it commenced. Tychus points out that all the civilians the Raiders ‘rescued’ have no way of getting off-world. Oops. Raynor is understandably angry with himself over the situation. He now has to rescue them all over again and bring them to his fortified outpost, although he can’t possibly cover farther outposts and he knows it. Civilians are going to end up dead and there’s nothing he can do. As the Zerg attack, he discovers that the artifact can actually keep them at bay, but not in a large enough area to keep his whole base safe or go on a meaningful offensive. The player can relocate the artifact as he or she wishes to keep advancing Zerg back, or help him in rescuing civilians all over the map.

Result: Matt saves the day, but not everyone is taken off the planet before the Zerg overrun it.

Cinematic 4: ESCAPE FROM MAR SARA

The Hyperion arrives in the nick of time to fetch Raynor and Tychus, and warps out of orbit. Raynor is helping Mar Saran refugees settle in on-board when Matt tears him away to show the newsreels demonstrating a number of attacks taking place at the same time all across the Dominion, but focusing on very particular planets (ie Mar Sara). Raynor asks if Tychus is aware of artifacts on other planets, but Tychus says the Moebius Foundation doesn’t give him information ahead of time, so he knows as little as Raynor.

Campaign: HYPERION

Rory Swann expresses his concern about the Hyperion being able to house so many civilians and there being enough supplies for everybody. He suggests finding a place to settle them all quickly.

Raynor picks up a distress call from Dr. Ariel Hanson on Agria, saying that they are under attack. Raynor asks why they haven’t been evacuated already, but Hanson replies that the Dominion abandoned them to their fates. Raynor isn’t surprised that Mengsk’s good-will had an expiry date after all.

Mission 4: THE EVACUATION

Objective: Escort Agrian civilians to dropships.

Logistics: Raiders vs. Zerg on Agria. Tech: Firebat.

Story: With the evacuation well in progress, Matt informs Raynor that a nearby distress beacon has gone off from a fleet of Dominion ships under heavy attack by the Zerg. He suggests that they leave some troops on Agria and see if they can’t save the Dominion fleet in exchange for their siding with the Raiders. Raynor hesitates but says that Hanson might need their help. Matt tries to explain that they can easily cover both tasks and he thinks Raynor’s judgment is clouded, but Raynor becomes agitated and says that they won’t leave anyone behind. Matt is forced to agree reluctantly.

Result: Agrians evacuated safely.

Campaign: HYPERION

Raynor discovers that evacuations of nearby worlds are still taking place, and that’s what the Dominion fleet was attempting to assist with. He asks Ariel if she knows why Mengsk would want to leave only Agria to its fate, but she has no idea.

Swann approaches Raynor on pretense of being fussed over even more refugees aboard the Hyperion, but also tells Raynor he thinks that they could have hit the Dominion ships hard and fast and gotten a ton of supplies to keep their army going, if nothing else. Raynor gives the typical “lives need saving” speech, but Swann says that that’ll always be true, and the fastest way to save the most lives is to depose Mengsk. He tells Raynor to get his priorities straight. Raynor agrees and promises to settle the refugees ASAP.

Raynor begins to settle the refugees on Meinhoff. Ariel tells him that she thinks they could use her expertise aboard the Hyperion, but Raynor says that her people will need her guidance more. Before the Hyperion has had a chance to leave orbit, they receive a distress call from the planet’s surface, saying that an infestation has broken out.

Mission 5: OUTBREAK

Objective: Destroy the infestation. Later, rescue incoming Dropships.

Logistics: Raiders vs. Zerg on Meinhoff. Tech: Marauder.

Story: Raynor establishes an outpost in the middle of a city and begins to assault the outlying Zerg bases. Swann explains that there’s absolutely no way the Raiders can house all of the refugees from both Agria and Meinhoff, but Raynor says he’s got it covered. He sets up a quarantine area, and has already called in some special favors, and a bunch of NPC Dropships appear all over the map to help with the evacuation. Swann is outraged that Raynor’s throwing away more resources when the Hyperion is running on fumes as it is, but Raynor tells him they’ll sort it out when the mission is done. Packs of Marauders with Concussive Shells are used to keep the constantly appearing Dropships safe while they lower to pick up civilians. Hanson explains that she might be of some assistance. When Raynor says he doesn’t understand, she tells him that she did some research on infestation for the Dominion, and will tell him the whole story when they’re done. Eventually she says that she has some bad news. The tests are complete and some are positive for the hyperevolutionary virus.

Result: Most of the civilians rescued and ferried off-world in Dropships. Some of those rescued infected.

CINEMATIC 5: Infected

Raynor and Hanson meet in front of a plexi-glass window that shows a number of civilians who look perfectly healthy and are pleading to be released. Raynor asks if Hanson is absolutely certain that they are infected. Hanson explains that she has been doing research on infestation and deinfestation for Mengsk for a number of years, because Mengsk’s dream was to find a weapon with which to kill Kerrigan. But when Hanson wasn’t able to give him what he wanted (because there is no cure for infestation), combined with him finding the artifacts, she was quietly “let go.” She thinks that Mengsk abandoned her on Agria out of spite. She tells Raynor that she’s sorry she hasn’t been completely honest with him, and that these civilians are indeed 100% infected. She repeats that there is no cure, but Raynor cuts her off bitterly, saying he’s well aware of the fact. He very reluctantly orders for them to be put down.

Campaign: HYPERION

Tychus informs Raynor that he’s just received information about another artifact, this one on the Dominion world Tyrador XII which is under heavy attack by the Zerg. Raynor suggests using the artifacts against the Zerg, but Tychus reminds him that the Moebius Foundation likely means to do just that, and giving the artifacts up will both net Raynor the money he needs and allow him to stay true to his word on fighting Mengsk.

When Swann scolds Raynor for throwing away so many supplies for no reason other than to taxi some civilians from one planet to another and back again, Raynor promises that when they get their hands on this second artifact, Raynor will sell both and make good on his promises to pay them.

Mission 6: SMASH AND GRAB

Objective: Weaken the warring Dominion and Zerg bases and liberate the second artifact.

Logistics: Raiders vs. Warfield’s Dominion vs. Zerg on Tyrador XII. Tech: Siege Tank.

Story: The Zerg are laying siege to a Dominion fortress on Tyrador VII, which they’ve had trouble breaking because of it size and especially because Warfield has been using his artifact in strategic offensive pushes that the Zerg are helpless to repel. Although Warfield’s assault troops are well protected against the Zerg, Raynor realizes that they would be vulnerable to an attack by a Terran army. Meanwhile, he is using his artifact defensively. Matt questions the worth of sabotaging an entire Dominion outpost with plenty of soldiers who are simply doing the right thing (fighting evil killer aliens) just to get their hands on some money, but Raynor explains that without taking advantage of this chaos and instability, they’ll never have enough momentum on their side to overthrow Mengsk. Raynor’s raiding party retrieves the artifact from the Dominion, but Kerrigan ambushes them – seemingly unaffected by it – and steals it for herself. But not before waving hello.

Result: Raynor is forced to flee with just his artifact, Kerrigan has the second and overruns both bases easily as Warfield also evacuates.

Campaign: HYPERION

Raynor is visibly affected by Kerrigan’s re-appearance.

Matt receives a transmission from Gabriel Tosh who is interested in brokering a deal that will fill up the Raiders’ coffers. Raynor agrees to hear Tosh out if Tosh is willing to come down in person. Tosh agrees.

CINEMATIC 6: The Mutiny

Raynor walks into the Cargo Bay to find Tychus, Swann, and a bunch of Marines liberating some of the remaining refugees’ belongings. When Raynor confronts them about this, Swann explains (honestly) that the civilians are OK with giving up their possessions in exchange for everything Raynor’s done for them. He points to a TV screen that shows the Raiders sabotaging the Dominion’s war efforts and says they just lost face with the entire public with absolutely nothing to show for it; with no artifact and so many expenses they have to find SOME way to recuperate their lost supplies. Raynor is outraged and says that Swann had no right to ask this of innocent people, and tells him to hand everything back. Tychus doesn’t care and sides with Raynor. Swann takes a stand, the confrontation gets physical on impulse and, to Swann’s dismay, the other Marines open fire. Tychus and Raynor barely get out alive.

Mission 7: COUNTERREVOLUTION

Objective: Subdue the mutineers. Later, use Tosh to do so covertly.

Logistics: Raynor, Tychus, and Matt’s Raiders, and Tosh vs. Swann’s Raiders aboard the Hyperion. Tech: None.

Story: Swann, in control of the bridge, sends out ship-wide broadcasts saying that nobody needs to be hurt, all that needs to happen is Matt stepping down as Captain of the Hyperion. He says that Raynor’s priorities have been completely wrong ever since the Zerg invasion. Matt suggests acquiescing, but Raynor thinks that if they can just arm the prisoner-refugees (including Hanson) that some of Swann’s forces have on lockdown, they’ll have a vast numerical advantage. However, Swann threatens to harm the refugees and Raynor’s hands are tied behind his back. Matt intercepts an incoming transmission and is able to listen in: Tosh’s ship is somehow already next to the Hyperion, but when Swann tells him that he’s acting captain, Tosh says that he won’t speak to anyone but Raynor. Swann orders Tosh to come aboard the Hyperion or the Hyperion will open fire, at which point Tosh agrees. However, once the ship appears in the cargo bay, Tosh is nowhere in sight. At this point he contacts Raynor via telepathic link and Raynor asks for help. Tosh becomes a controllable hero on the other side of the map, and the two parties must overcome certain obstacles independently and others through combined efforts.

Result: Swann and his mutinous officers are apprehended alive.

CINEMATIC 7: No Prisoners

Raynor is holding the mutineers in the brig. He, Matt and Tosh arrive to look on Swann and the other prisoners. He thanks Tosh for his timely assistance but laments ironically that Swann was right, and that they’ve run out of supplies. With the crew cut in half by this mutiny, there’s absolutely no way they can continue their guerilla efforts. Tosh reminds Raynor that he came with a business proposition, but Raynor explains that even so, there’s neither room nor staff nor supplies to be wasted on useless bodies. Tosh understands immediately, saying that the mutineers deserve to die for their disloyalty. Matt tells Tosh that he has no idea what he’s talking about and that Raynor would never do that. Instead, they’ll simply drop them off on some nearby world, along with the refugees, and bid them adios. Raynor considers this for a moment but tells Swann that instead he’s going to pardon them all, and, starting now, he’s going to be having nothing but Mengsk shake with a side-order of Dominion fries. Swann is shocked to hear this, Tosh smiles and nods, and Matt frowns disapprovingly.

Campaign: HYPERION

Tosh explains that he is a Ghost, and that he came to Raynor specifically because he knew of Raynor’s hatred for Mengsk, and that the two have that in common. He says that a bunch of his men were left behind after an operation went south on the Dominion mining world Redstone. He needs Raynor’s help in retrieving them and will provide the locations of numerous rich mines to pillage to make it worth Raynor’s while. When Raynor expresses his reluctance in light of the promise he made to Swann, Tosh tells Raynor that his men were on Redstone gathering intel on Dominion schematics and plans, and he’ll be happy to share that to sweeten the pot. That, and of course Raynor will be hitting a Dominion outpost directly.

Mission 8: THE DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND

Objective: Rescue Tosh’s Ghosts and amass a fortune.

Logistics: Tosh’s Raiders vs. Gaskerville’s Dominion on Redstone. Tech: Medivacs.

Story: Tosh’s men are spread out across the lava-filled map, forcing Raynor to make extensive use of Medivacs to retrieve them and allow them to keep Gaskerville’s forces busy while Raynor grabs all the ore he can get his hands on. When most of Tosh’s Ghosts have been secured, he grabs a couple and heads off toward one corner of the Dominion facility, despite Raynor’s objections and protestations. By this time, Gaskerville’s put together a threatening counter-attack that’s forcing Raynor to pull further and further back. Matt says that either Tosh was leading the Raiders into a trap deliberately, or will get them all killed by accident, and that every minute they waste waiting is a minute Gaskerville has to take back more and more of the resources they’ve stolen from their outlying expansions.

Result: Some of Tosh’s men rescued and some Dominion goods pillaged, but the Raiders are forced to retreat.

END OF SECTION ONE

Section two under construction. Section one open to feedback.

[RussianSpy27]

Hey man,

This is GREAT! I strongly urge you to finish the whole campaign. My favorite was the mutiny mission on the Hyperion. Several suggestions:

1. In some cases where the changes are very minor, you may want to underline them, so people who may not remember the campaign in great detail would not be in any way confused.

2. This is me being forgetful about the campaign I guess, but does Raynor know that artifacts can be used against the zerg so soon into the campaign?

3. As I posted elsewhere, I'm a big fan of taking advantage of the new Story Forum on Battle.net as it claims to be intended for Blizzard writers to hear the fans. A player/moderator nicknamed Sixen has actually been responding to posts here and there on that forum. So, when you're done writing and editing, I would strongly recommend posting a copy there. Will it work? We never know, but there is probably more of a chance of them seeing it there than if we only leave it here.

[pure.Wasted]

1. In some cases where the changes are very minor, you may want to underline them, so people who may not remember the campaign in great detail would not be in any way confused.

I'll see what I can do, thanks. This will be tricky because a lot of the changes are quite minor.

2. This is me being forgetful about the campaign I guess, but does Raynor know that artifacts can be used against the zerg so soon into the campaign?

No. In fact, in WOL as-is the artifact is useless against the Zerg until it's completely assembled. My version begins working (with a smaller effect) right away, just because I figured that would be more dynamic.

3. As I posted elsewhere, I'm a big fan of taking advantage of the new Story Forum on Battle.net as it claims to be intended for Blizzard writers to hear the fans. A player/moderator nicknamed Sixen has actually been responding to posts here and there on that forum. So, when you're done writing and editing, I would strongly recommend posting a copy there. Will it work? We never know, but there is probably more of a chance of them seeing it there than if we only leave it here.

I remember your first suggestion to do so, and I will as soon as this is complete (or may take it there in parts, as well).

[abitibi]

This is great. Do you plan to bring protoss ennemies soon? Will the Tal'Darim be in your campaign? Also, will you include other Terran factions such as the Kel-morians or the Umojans, as allies or enemies?

[GnaReffotsirk]

Question: If Tychus was working for Mengsk, how did he get involved with the Mobius Foundation? Or is he really involved with the Mobius Foundation?

[pure.Wasted]

Do you plan to bring protoss ennemies soon?

Not yet. I'm going to count on my supposition that quality will trump quantity and hope that I'm vindicated.

Will the Tal'Darim be in your campaign?

They were in the original, so I don't really have much choice. I'm not sure I'll be able to do them justice with a MEANINGFUL arc, but if they need to be set up for HOTS and LOTV, at the very least I'll have done that.

Also, will you include other Terran factions such as the Kel-morians or the Umojans, as allies or enemies?

I won't. The challenge of focusing on as many distinct personalities as Blizzard settled on with WOL (Tychus, Hanson, Tosh) makes it very difficult to branch out to even more plot points without tacking on more and more missions. That, and I don't really want to invent things whole-sale. Although I've always been interested in the relationship Raynor would have with factions who most assuredly want to see Mengsk dethroned just as badly as he does, it's just too much of a detour.

The next section, compared to WOL as-is, should bring more Dominion politics, more Tychus, more Tosh, more Nova... and, eventually, more Selendis and more Zeratul.

[spychi]

the mutiny part doesn't make sense, not over a thing like that
if you fix that with the Kel-Morian - refugees or other fraction's conflict then it might be a cause to start the riot

if you need any help with plot ideas than i am here

[Twilice]

So suddenly Swann which to me was proven to be one of the most loyal men to Raynor goes to a mutiny? I don't like that part at all.

[pure.Wasted]

Question: If Tychus was working for Mengsk, how did he get involved with the Mobius Foundation? Or is he really involved with the Mobius Foundation?

I'm actually still working out the logistics on this. It'll be dealt with in Section Two (and pretty early at that) so this is at the top of my list at the moment.

the mutiny part doesn't make sense,. not over a thing like that
if you fix that with the Kel-Morian - refugees or other fraction's conflict then it might be a cause to start the riot

My intent with the mutiny was to emphasize that it wasn't planned out in advance, it just happened by accident over too many little things coming together at the same time, and before Swann realized it he was swept up in a current where the best he could hope to do was probably talk Raynor down over the radio. If it had been thought out, it would be a lot more difficult to justify Raynor trusting Swann around his ship after that.

So suddenly Swann which to me was proven to be one of the most loyal men to Raynor goes to a mutiny? I don't like that part at all.

I was waiting for this to come up, because I happen to love Swann, too. The real problem here is efficiency... or, as Mr. Peasant would say, the law of conservation of detail.

Let's grant for just the moment that we absolutely MUST have a mutiny aboard the Hyperion at some point in the campaign. If the antagonist isn't a character we care about, we're just not going to care as viewers/players. That leaves... Matt, Tychus, Hanson, Tosh, and Swann as potential mutineers. I don't want Matt to mutiny because that will feel like too much of a rehash of Rebel Yell (young captain rebels against vengeance-driven older commander). Tychus and Hanson don't really have the influence you'd need to pull something like that off. That leaves Tosh, and Tosh has too much facetime in my WOL as it is. That, and I don't really have a story for Swann. And any time you don't have a story for a character, that character isn't pulling their weight. It felt like a natural fit from that angle.

The other angle is, of course, I don't want to lose what Swann brings to the campaign. But I don't intend to. There's a saying that the deepest bonds of respect and loyalty can only come out of conflict and hardship. As opposed to having Swann say, "Oh yeah, thanks for saving our asses on Meinhoff that one time," I want him to feel that grateful over something that the player can see. That way his loyalty to Raynor becomes understandable. We just saw this guy, who had every right to do away with these mutineers, save all of their lives and apologize to them. That takes guts. He's worth respecting. So from this point on, Swann is very much the Swann you came to know and love in WOL -- albeit, in my opinion, with a more compelling reason to be that way.