The #1 problem with Starcraft 2 Beta!

[Asfastasican]

Brace yourselves. I'm going to reveal to you all what the number one problem with Starcraft 2 beta is as of this moment. It doesn't matter if you guys are in beta or not or whether or not you've played the game or have gotten a virus trying to find a cracked version of it. None of you have brought this subtle 800 pound gorilla to our attention on these boards and that makes me VERY disappointed in all of you. Shame on you!

No, it's not a balance issue.

No, it's not the lack of the map editor or no chat rooms either.

No, it's not how red neck marines are now dancing on command.

The problem is obviously the dietary concerns we have for the inhabitants of the Koprulu sector.

How could have none of you have seen this coming!? The Zerg have recently discovered pork and beans, the Terrans are stuffing their faces with popcorn and the Protoss have started brewing chai tea!

How else can you explain Zerglings sounding much less vicious than they once were? They now grumble and growl like feeble insects that have severe indigestion and terrible tummy aches! They are supposed to sound scary and eat the flesh of their fallen enemies without remorse. Instead they are now ripping open cans of pork and beans, eating all of the contents inside and are now running around sounding like small dogs, farting uncontrollably!

The Terrans are now sitting on their asses shoving handfuls of popcorn into their mouths while watching all sorts of vintage Earth cinema. The Thor pilots are watching too many bad sci-fi films while ghosts are too busy watching old western movies. Meanwhile, the Battlecruiser captains have gone off the deep end by drinking like depressive captains that have been out to sea for more than several months. Is this really the future of humanity? Excessive popcorn and whiskey?

And last, but not least, the once proud tribal Protoss warriors who once fought with a sense of pride and urgency have now discovered how to cultivate tea leaves and are mass producing it in droves. Zealots now drink chai tea several times a day. They are too calm and relaxed. Hell, they can't even swing their psi-blades straight. Instead of OD'ing on PCP-like drugs and thrusting their weapons into the guts of their enemies, they are now a bunch of elegant tea-drinking ballerinas on the battlefield. Perhaps maybe the old men piloting Immortals will have less arthritis knowing that they are drinking something more healthy with a sense of new-found responsibility for their bodies in their recent years of retirement?

How could have the SC Legacy Community let this continue to go on even after a week of intense beta testing? We need to make a stand here today! THESE AWFUL EATING HABITS MUST BE PUT TO REST!!!

[Wankey]

Okay... obviously my sense of humor isn't good enough for this kind of joke.

[Aldrius]

Seriously? One topic griping about the soundscape wasn't enough?

[electricmole]

apparently most of the people here who have beta care only most about gameplay.

[RedPineApple]

Well...

I will tell you what THE BEST thing about Starcraft 2 is.

No more window lickers on Battle.net setting the fucking latency to extra high.

[Jabber Wookie]

None of you have brought this subtle 800 pound gorilla to our attention on these boards and that makes me VERY disappointed in all of you. Shame on you!

I love how the premise of this entire thread assumes this problem hasn't been acknowledged by any of the sclegacy community, yet you most likely saw the clip of zerglings farting on the thread title ZERGLINGS FARTING!!

which is actually a much more catchy thread title imo...

[Asfastasican]

Okay... obviously my sense of humor isn't good enough for this kind of joke.

Dietary concerns are very serious. I don't know why you're taken this lightly.

And for goodness sakes, I'm trying to figure out why the zerglings are farting and I found it. The farting isn't the premise of the thread!