Theorycraft

[Hawki]

This started out as a challenge in the discussion forum. One to rewrite WoL, with me having the following mandates:

-No artifact
-No Kerrigan de-infestation
-No Overmind "retcon"
-No prophecy (sort of...I kind of bend the line here)

What started out as a response quickly got out of control, a definate case of thread hijacking

Wings of Liberty

Key note is that the newscasts often deal with Dominion suppression of rebellion and the like, show Mengsk and Valerian interviews, etc. Some characters remain, some don't.

Intro Cinematic

We can keep Tychus in a sense, since cinematics are expensive, and hey, it served its purpose when SC2 was announced. Basically shows the Dominion suppressing rebellion on a world through marines deploying. Voiceover from Mengsk establishes that the Dominion has rebuilt itself yet has to deal with malcontents everywhere.

Mar Sara Missions

Mission 1: Cut out Tychus, otherwise the same, Raynor stirs up rebellion.

Mission 2: The Raiders, along with the MSS, move in on the Dominion fortress of White Rock. It is succesfully destroyed, making Mar Sara a free colony.

Mission 3: The Dominion Fleet arrives and begins pounding the rebellion with air superiority. The Raiders and MSS manage to escape, where thanks to the MSS presence, the Raiders are stronger than before. But Raynor's left with the guilt of his actions that he's condemned numerous people to die for a lost cause.

Colonist Missions

Mission 1: Word of Mar Sara spreads, Agria revolts, Dominion deploys forces to put them down. Raiders arrive and manage to evacuate some colonists but otherwise, Dominion control is reasserted.

Mission 2: The colonists are sequestered on Meinhoff, a no. of them join the Raiders, adding to their forces. The Dominion deploys the zerg hyper-evolutionary virus, infecting numerous colonists, not to mention striking at the KMC. Raiders manage to contain the infection, granting them some KMC support.

Mission 3: Seeking revenge, the Raiders go after a Dominion ship that's at Haven (yes, Haven's known to the Dominion prior to WoL, I feel some lore newbs need reminding). Arriving, they find the protoss have done their job for them. However, it's at this point that the zerg arrive. Selendis and Raynor team up to fight the zerg (e.g. Fleet of the Executor does head-on confrontations, Raiders destroy hives instead of nexi), leading to the zerg's defeat). Question of what the zerg are doing, and what the Dominion are doing. Selendis tells Raynor that numerous protoss have been disapearing and they suspect Dominion foul play (ala Project Gestalt). Don't have enough will/power to go to war over the issue. Raynor may get some protoss support because...I like protoss characters. Deal with it.

Artifact Missions

Mission 1: Acting on protoss intelligence, the Raiders head for Monlyth, where they discover the Dominion has wiped out the protoss (Tal'darim or Daelaam, it doesn't matter). However, the zerg have arrived here. While the zerg press in on the Dominion on one front, the Raiders press in on another, seeking to capture a command center before the data is erased/is destroyed/whatever. They succeed, and prepare to depart. Kerrigan mocks Raynor, hinting at the Hybrid Program.

Mission 2: Acting on the data retrieved from Monlyth, the Raiders head for Xil. The Dominion has been here looking for protoss and/or xel'naga tech. They've left, but some Tal'darim are left behind, and they're mighty pissed at terrans right now. The Raiders are forced to fend them off while seeing exactly what the Dominion was here for.

Interlude: Maybe the Raiders get what they're looking for, maybe not. Either way, Zeratul shows up, and tells Raynor about the hybrids (as in existance). He gives Raynor the memory crystal.

Flashback Missions

Mission 1: Zeratul is on Ulaan, having followed an energy creature there from Pegasus. He reflects on past events, and of Duran's words on the dark moon. However, hybrids are deployed led by Maar and Zeratul has to escape (can have some hybrid-controlled zerg too I guess).

Mission 2: Zeratul arrives on Zhakul to share what he's learnt, about the whole hybrid thing. Maar and the zerg arrive, and Zeratul and the protoss defeat them. Zeratul learns from Maar at the hybrid's last moments (either telepathy or Maar gloats) that their existance is made possible by humans. Through this (insert dialogue here, this is spur of the moment stuff), Zeratul deduces that there's a terran presence on Aiur. He leaves to investigate.

Mission 3: Zeratul and a small protoss force arrive on Aiur. There, forces are present, not too disimilar to what he encountered on the dark moon. Through the mission (e.g. reaches command centres rather than Overmind tentacles) he learns that the forces are salvaging zerg and protoss DNA (this being Aiur, there's a lot of both) to breed hybrids. He also learns that Emil Narud is the chief mastermind.

Mission 4: The Dominion forces are destroyed, but Narud shows that not only does he have a lot of hybrids at his beck and call, but through them he can control zerg as well. A version of In Utter Darkness arrives where the protoss have to hold the line long enough to evacuate. Through the mission, and the way Narud acts, Zeratul suspects that his motives are beyond just serving the Dominion.

Last Warning: Zeratul warns Raynor that the Dominion is creating hybrids, that he should beware Narud, and that something larger is going on than Mengsk simply creating biological weapons. Raynor doesn't know what to make of the xel'naga issue, but is savy enough to realize that hybrids = bad, and that Mengsk using them isn't a good thing. May also have a scene between Mengsk and Narud here to reinforce that Narud is indeed in Mengsk's graces. Valerian also makes an appearence and it's clear he's not onboard with the whole breeding program thing.

Spectre Missions

Mission 1: Raynor is summoned to Redstone III by Tosh, who proposes an alliance between his group and Raynor. Dominion forces arrive, but the two manage to escape.

Mission 2: Raynor and Tosh take shelter on Bel'Shir. Unfortunately, Tal'darim are present. Nyon's learnt of the Raiders' "crimes" against the Tal'darim on Xil (and believes them to be responsible for Monlyth as well), and wants them dead. The Raiders are able to destroy the shrines (which prevent them from leaving? I dunno, I'm trying to keep mission mechanics similar), and escape. A Tal'darim aerospace force engages them, but the Bucephalus takes them out, as commanded by Valerian. He tries to keep his motives ambiguous, but it's a case of him being discontent with the Dominion and considering Raynor's growing army as a factor. Throughout the campaign there's been signs via the telescreens that Valerian is a different person from his father.

Mission 3: The Raiders have been suffering losses, and despite the growth in their ranks (KMC, MMS, etc.), the battles are taking their toll, and Bel'Shir didn't help. Tosh brings up the whole reason he contacted Raynor in the first place - New Folsom. They liberate the prisoners, they'll have many eager volunteers. They pull it off, and in addition to Tosh's Spectres, the Raiders are joined by many ordinary people who'd gladly see Mengsk dead.

Artifact Missions, part 2

Mission 1: The zerg have invaded Tyrador VIII, but only a select portion of it. While it's gratifying to see the Dominion take a beating, there's still innocent people, so Raynor goes down to save what people he can. Gets more recruits in the process. Kerrigan is present there as well, who reveals that she's attacking these key bases because like Raynor, she knows about the hybrid breeding program. There's hints of the premonition she achieved at the end of BW, but she's still a bit vague on that (as in, why she doesn't just wipe the Dominion out, she wants to preserve her forces for a larger conflict). She points Raynor towards Typhon XI as a place he'd want to go to.

Mission 2: The Raiders arrive at Typhon XI. There, Narud is waiting for them, who on the surface, seems to be working for the Dominion. However, he's still got an army of protoss at his back (I say protoss because again, it's important to have variety in enemies from a gameplay standpoint). He deploys a device that mimics the firewall (don't know what, but hey, fun game mechanic), and expects the protoss (who can be Tal'darim if you want) to hold them off. Still, the Raiders break through.

Mission 3: The Raiders come across a xel'naga worldship that Narud's protoss are on, albiet in this case, they have the benefit of surprise. They attack, and Valerian's battlecruisers arrive helping the Raiders. They succeed, retriving weapons/units that are very effective against hybrids.

Interlude: Valerian reveals that he too has been building up a powerbase to challenge his father, discontent with his actions, his suppression of the people, and this whole protoss/Narud thing has taken the cake. It's not a completely amicable relationship (e.g. Horner can still ask whether Raynor's really considering teaming up as taken from WoL verbatim), but Raynor is willing to give Valerian the benefit of the doubt for now. Also revealed that Valerian has Umojan support and that translates in-game, so now the Raiders have support from the UP as well as the KMC.

Rebellion Missions

Mission 1: The Raiders (who are a big army by now, but the missions are still low-scale) attack Tarsonis, retrive adjutant, etc.



Mission 2: The Raiders head for Dead Man's Rock, hoping to have Orlan decrypt the adjutant. However, he's been paid off by the Dominion, mission occurs, adjutant translated, etc.

Interlude: The Raiders realize they have the perfect propaganda weapon. They've got the issue that will completely shatter people's faith in Mengsk, not to mention all this juicy hybrid data that will raise a few eyebrows. Plus, now that they've hired Mira's services (and other mercenaries, and have UP and KMC support, etc.), they might just have the manpower to topple Mengsk. Provided the people want that to happen. The loose end is Valerian, who reveals that he indeed knew of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis (as specified in I, Mengsk). That...raises a few eyebrows. Will Valerian be any better than his father? Is Tosh right when he says "tomorrow there'll be a new Mengsk?"

Mission 3: The Raiders head for a planet to broadcast the signal. Said planet can be anything, just not Korhal, because you want to transmit this before attacking the Dominion capital. Mission plays out minus the Odin, Mengsk confronts Raynor and Valerian (Mengsk has been popping up in news interviews, etc., so hopefully he's had some character buildup in this version). Broadcast is made, Valerian reaffirms his faith to the Raiders. His father's rule is coming to an end.

Final Missions

Basically, the invasion of Char is replaced by an invasion of Korhal. Insert stirring speeches and music here as every terran faction pulls their weight to an extent. Raynor's Raiders, the Mar Sara Seperatists, the Agrian colonists, Tosh and his Spectres, mercenaries such as Mira, the Umojan Protectorate, the Kel-Morian Combine...sniff...it's just so beautiful...

Or cheesy, but whatever. While the population of the Dominion is in revolt and numerous forces are defecting, Mengsk still possesses a sizeable standing army. So not only do they have to deal with that, but deal with his hybrid forces as well. So, taking a leaf from the final missions of HotS:

Mission 1: Raynor leads the ground attack. Planetfall is made and Mengsk's forces fight back, but they manage to gain a beachhead (you can base this on the first Char mission in a sense).

Mission 2: Simultaniously, Valerian leads an air attack (ala Shatter the Sky), plays out, more banter between father and son, etc.

Mission 3: The nydus mission in a sense, only it's a case of Raynor leading a small force to take out the hybrids before they can be deployed. Some hybrids are deployed, but equipped with the tech they recovered earlier, they take them out (e.g. replace the shatter rounds Raynor fires with anti-hybrid rounds). Narud again makes an appearence, and while the lab is destroyed, Narud escapes, again giving insight into how he may be more than he claims to be and whatnot.

Mission 4: The final mission plays out ala HotS (as fun as the last mission of WoL is, the rebels have to take the offensive here. Raynor's got the ground. Valerian arrives in the Bucephalus ala Raynor and to Mengsk's dismay, the people applaud him for this. True, many are still loyal to Mengsk, but Valerian's become their saviour (I admit this may stretch disbelief, but I'm trying to do Valerian's character justice here). Anyway, mission plays out.

Final Cinematic: Kind of like HotS, except Raynor and a team (you can include Tosh for instance provided WoL doesn't have branches in this version) fight their way through instead of Raynor. Or you can base it on the Bucephalus boarding. Either way, Raynor blows up the door (as opposed to Kerrigan tearing it apart) and finds Mengsk waiting for him. And...yes, I'm going there.

Mengsk: "Hello Jim. I've been expecting you."

Raynor: "I'm surprised you haven't packed your bags."

Mengsk: "People are like sheep Jim. They always follow a leader, always trust the shepherd to keep them safe from the monsters outside. And you're not that kind of leader."

Raynor: "No." He raises his gun. "I fight monsters."

Mengsk smiles and presses the button. Something akin to the paralyzing effect that was in the original HotS cinematic. Raynor becomes paralyzed akin to how Kerrigan is incapacitated.

Mengsk: "Working with monsters has served me well. Playing the monster serves humanity well." He walks over and draws out a pistol. "It's a shame you never understood that Jim."

Before Mengsk can fire, another shot rings out, hitting Mengsk and causing his own shot to Mengsk Raynor. There stands Valerian in full power armour.

Mengsk: "Valerian?"

Valerian walks forward and pushes Mengsk to the ground. Raynor gets up while Valerian draws his own pistol.

Mengsk: "Damn you boy! I'm your father! Your emperor"

Valerian: "You were my father. You were the emperor of the Dominion."

Mengsk: "I...am...the Dominion!"

Valerian (whispers): "No. You're not."

The trigger is pulled.

Valerian: "We've had enough of monsters."

Moving on to the next scene, Valerian and Raynor look out the window. The dialogue has to be really tight here, and as you can see, I'm probably not the best person to write dialogue in script format. Basically, Raynor gives Valerian a nod and he goes out to address a crowd. The speech would be much better than what I can provide, but basically summarizes the key points:

-Terrans have always been disunited.

-There's been a history of one evil being replaced by another (Confederacy replaced by Mengsk's Dominion, Dominion replaced by UED, UED replaced by Dominion again, etc.)

-Reference to humanity as a whole. They don't need hybrids. They don't need 'shepherds.' They need unity because they want it, not because some man demands it.

-As part of this, Valerian is willing to work with the KMC and UP. They in turn are willing to work with him.

-Insert uplifting music here.

Scene ends with the reveal that Kerrigan is seeing this speech as well (some organic probe or something). She gives Valerian silent credit for killing Mengsk - she got her revenge back in Brood War, but hey, she isn't complaining. Raynor's served her well, taking out the hybrids, and she has to admit, working with him was...interesting. But she knows Narud is still out there. She knows that the hybrids are still out there. She knows that the premonition she had at the end of BW is coming true.

But she is the Swarm. The Queen of Blades. And God help anyone who gets in her way...

Conclusion

That's that. Probably nothing to write home about, but hey, had fun. I don't think it's superior to WoL because it's basically doing the same thing with the same framework, but giving some characters more development (e.g. Valerian) while leaving other facets (e.g. the Raynor/Kerrigan arc) undeveloped. And I'm sacrificing mission dynamics in many cases as well. I may do a similar theorycraft for HotS and LotV, but it depends on reception.

[Robear]

But, seriously, I would play this, and it would be better. One thing though, what happens with Tychus? Is he just along for the ride? Does he stay alive?

[Visions of Khas]

What I like about this is how little Raynor interacts with colonists, the UP, and KMC. I love the idea of having all these disparate factions coming together to deal with Mengsk once and for all. Plus the chaos that would already reign on Korhal, allowing the ragtag fleet led by Raynor to break through to the surface.

But this is far too uplifting. In a manner of speaking, Mengsk is right. He's strong-arming the whole of humanity in this section of the galaxy, but he has kept them collectively safe and alove against the odds. After the invasion of Korhal, there would be a massive power vacuum, political maneuvering and the like. Korhal itself would probably become a hotbed of war, endangering millions of civilians. Because Raynor needs to have his emotions warring with him: the success of deposing Mengsk vs facing the cold-hearted reality of life.

[Turalyon]

+1 rep. I heartily approve! Someone needs to go and make this happen!

What I like about this is that it has the appropriate scope and focus. It's a Terran campaign dealing with Terran affairs first and foremost whilst naturally including aspects of the greater arc of the Hybrid threat.

VoK has a point about it being somewhat "too uplifting". Raynor, Valerian and the people that join them are a little too idealised. Terrans and regular people just in general are never fully unified, if at all for very long, even at the best and worst of times. Also, it is implied that what Valerian/Raynor do is ideally justified in terms of their good intentions being actually "good" for the whole Terran lot. If there were hints that there was some "bad to this good", in counterpoint to Mengsk's time showing that there was some "good" (his Dominion should get kudos for ensuring Terran survival) to his bad, that would've made it more juicy imo.

[Hawki]

Heh, thanks for the feedback. I currently have an idea on how to write HotS under the mandate, but I'll get to that in due course. Concerning the above points raised:

-As I mentioned, I'm not sure how I could fit Tychus into it. As a sleeper agent for Mengsk, maybe. The problem is that since Mengsk isn't using Tychus to get to Kerrigan here, Tychus's M.O. would be to find Raynor, call in the Dominion, then let the events unfold. That could work on Mar Sara (e.g. explaining why the fleet arrives so early) but then logically the Dominion should be pursuing them rather than the Raiders encountering them. While I like Tychus's character, I don't know how I could fit him in.

-I get what you mean about idealism and moral grey areas (e.g. Mengsk pointing out that his actions have still kept the Dominion going regardless). It's the kind of thing I'd rely on TVcasts for, where he defends his actions on screen. Lockwell and/or Vermillion can ask the questions people are asking (all pre-approved), and Mengsk justifies them. He can do this in missions too, but I don't think it's good for him to actually have a presence in actual missions until towards the end.

As for character motivations, yeah, there should be morally grey characters. Raynor and Valerian are on the idealistic side. Tosh is only interested in vengeance. Hanson wants a better future for Dominion citizens but doesn't share Raynor's grudge against Mengsk. We'd need characters standing in for various factions too, picked up along the way - Swann could be picked up during the campaign and represent Moria's philosophy, an Umojan character other than Hill could represent the Protectorate's philosophy, etc. In this case I'd rely on story-mode space for these kinds of conversations about the ends and means. The thick of battle isn't the best time to bring them up.

I would still keep the ending though, and it's part of why I like the endings of WoL and HotS as they canonically stand, how they end on hopeful notes rather than grim and/or cynical ones. There's a place for grittiness and cynicism, but use it too much and it loses its impact. After the end of SC1 (Mengsk's Dominion) and end of BW (UED fleet destroyed, Dominion in tatters), I figure the terrans could use a break.

[Hawki]

Quick note that I altered missions 1 and 2 of the flashback arc of WoL - Zeratul doesn't know of the xel'naga, only Duran's words. Anyway, did something for HotS. I'm sure it'll be less disagreeable, but hey, fun is fun.

Heart of the Swarm

While my take on WoL generally stuck to its format, this will be a bit more…different. Probably not to everyone’s liking, because while it’s the mandate of the challenge not to use the tropes I listed at the start, there is one thing I’d like to do, and that’s change Kerrigan’s character. Which, I admit right now, does require a degree of character change. Not de-infestation by the artefact, but…well, consider yourself forewarned.

Intro

I dunno. It can’t be Kerrigan invading Korhal because in this version, that never happens. On the other hand, I can appreciate the need for trailer fodder. Maybe Kerrigan reflecting on what she’s already done, so the dialogue becomes “armies have been shattered. Worlds have burned” – basically using the past tense, and the visuals showing those actions. But basically ends with her reaffirming that challenges still await her (hybrids, Narud, etc.), and that she’ll face them, still ending on “for I am the Queen of Blades.”

Lab Missions

The lab missions occur on a desolate planet, but not in any terran territory. It’s just out there (like the dark moon from BW). This will be the first of many changes I’m afraid – I’m trying to keep mission structure the same, but the locations will often differ.

Mission 1: Kerrigan has a changeling inside the lab that’s disguised itself as a scientist. Narud is there and is relying on mercenaries for protection while he creates hybrids. Kerrigan still doesn’t know what his motivations are, but her senses tell her that it can’t be good (same ‘feeling’ she got at the end of BW), but wants an army in the inside before she launches an attack from the outside. Thus, the mission plays, with zerg structures being grown, the intent being to use their DNA to splice with protoss DNA to create more hybrids. Gameplay-wise, it eases the player into controlling the zerg (like the canonical first mission does). Plot-wise, the changeling alters controls/settings/something which results in zerglings spawning and overrunning the lower levels.

Mission 2: Just afterwards, Kerrigan launches an attack from the air (e.g. zerg sacs rather than Dominion drop pods). She enters the facility herself and fights her way through it. Narud takes the role of Nova, verbally sparring with her, cutting off routes, etc. Kerrigan pursues in the tram, Narud escapes in a dropship (as opposed to taking it, escapes). Kerrigan still left to deal with the Archangel. Note that Kerrigan’s “full evil” in this mission – she slaughters people indiscriminately, and has no remorse about it.

Mission 3: Kerrigan tracks Narud to Phaeton, where she finds more mercenaries set up shot. The bulk of the zerg are still wrapping things up at the lab, but Kerrigan still has enough zerg to launch an attack, and the base is overrun.

Kerrigan confronts Narud in a hanger (in terms of “cinematic budget,” this would replace the Hyperion and/or Mengsk broadcast scenes). Again letting on that he’s more than he seems (and the question’s been raised by this point that if Valerian’s Dominion doesn’t want hybrids, why is Narud still creating them?), he sets hybrids on her. Kerrigan defeats them, but is hit by a nanite dart that administers the same serum that was used to de-infest Stukov. Kerrigan is briefly incapacitated, but it’s enough to let Narud escape. Kerrigan yells that he’s running out of places to hide, but he tells her not to be so sure…

Interlude: Kerrigan returns to her leviathan. The natite effects start occurring, and it has two side-effects. Firstly, it weakens her powers. This is for a gameplay sense – the first missions are meant to be the easiest, and Kerrigan has full stats and the like there. The bar is reset here which gives her time to level up (explained in-universe that her powers will return in time). The second is psionic, and that comes into play also mainly for gameplay purposes (e.g. rebuilding the Swarm).

Evolution Missions

Pretty much the same. No real change needed.

Kaldir Missions

Numerous brood mothers are going silent. Thanks to the nanite, Kerrigan’s psychological control has been weakened, so while her powerbase on Char is secure, not all the broodmothers are responding (like in canon-HotS, they’d come back as Kerrigan levels up). Kerrigan is torn – as tempting as it is to go to every planet that has a broodmother, that takes time and effort that she also has to spend on Narud. Regardless, she chooses to go to Kaldir.

Mission 1: Kerrigan arrives, looking for Na’fash. Mission pretty much plays out as in canon-HotS. Nafash is dead. Note that Zagara is already onboard the leviathan from the outset, as are Abathur and Izsha.

Mission 2: The protoss try to reach Shakuras, pretty much the same. Lassara is still captured, ships destroyed, etc. Kerrigan has no particular grudge against the protoss, but with her control over the Swarm limited, she doesn’t want to bring the protoss down against her.

Mission 3: Plays out, etc. Key thing is that Kerrigan finds she doesn’t enjoy it as much as she thought she would. She’s been on the sidelines for four years and getting back at it was fun in WoL, but now, she feels…hollow…

Yes, I admit, I’m going down the same route as “character change,” and you guessed it, the nanite is partially responsible. It’s technically possible to have HotS with full-evil Kerrigan, but we had WoL with “full evil” Kerrigan along with the start of this game. Eyes are probably rolling at this point in time, but…well, deal with it.

Also note that the Zeratul cutscene would play here, but I’ll leave that for the “not Zerus” arc.

Planet X Missions

This is a replacement for the Char missions. Like I said, I’m diverging a lot. Gameplay-wise, it basically takes cue from the Korhal missions since I’m trying to make things intact. Yes, Korhal is invaded in my version of WoL, but I used the Char gameplay as a template. So for Planet X, the Korhal invasion is used as a template. And it’s so named “Planet X” for ease of linguo.

Mission 1: Turns out the Dominion is a bit more trigger happy than Kerrigan cared for. They’re preparing for an assault on Char, which, at this point, Kerrigan learns that more and more broodmothers are seemingly disappearing, along with their broods. Even as her powers return, the zerg are still fragmenting. And seizing the opportunity, the terran powers are preparing for an assault.

Kerrigan strikes first. There’s no orbital defences, but the gameplay is the same. Turns out that Raynor and Horner are commanding. That…stirs something in Kerrigan. It’s more something to be discussed in SMS, but she let Raynor live on Char, and let him leave again on Korhal. Now the time has come where she’s got every reason to kill him, yet she doesn’t know how she feels about that.

Mission 2: The Dominion deploys the Psi Destroyer. Same effect, only instead of primal zerg, Abathur comes up with zerg that can withstand its effects, albeit in limited numbers. Anyway, it plays out, destroyer destroyed, etc.

Mission 3: I’m alternating the gameplay a lot here, but basically I’d use the final Char mission in canon HotS as a template here. The terrans are ready to leave – the invasion’s botched. Horner is remaining on the ground to coordinate, and Kerrigan presses the attack. The terran lines are overrun and the Warfield scene plays out, only with Horner instead. Another key difference is that it’s Raynor’s voice on the radio.

So, scene plays out, Kerrigan snaps and kills Horner. But with the guy having brought Raynor up (“it’s no wonder Jim wants you dead” or something), and Raynor’s voice still filling the room, she pulls the zerg back, letting the terrans leave. She walks off as Raynor’s voice echoes (“it’s a miracle. Matt? Matt?!”)

Something else to address at this point – why Horner and not Raynor? Horner’s always been a ‘flyboy’ whilst Raynor excels on the ground. I admit this is a stretch, but I’ve done it in this version because apart from Raynor, Horner’s death would generate the most emotional impact, for both Raynor and the player (or for me I guess – I certainly consider Horner to be a strong character and like him for it). Secondly, on the Kerrigan vs. Raynor thing, it’s not something that should be resolved so early in the campaign, like an afterthought. Yes, more eyes are rolling at this that “there shouldn’t be a love story, Kerrigan should be able to kill Raynor without a second thought,” but again, my story. I still like canon HotS and WoL at the end of the day, I’m doing this as “what if?” more than anything else.

Anyway, terrans retreat back to Dominion space (not sure if it’s even called the Dominion – maybe “Alliance?” Something to signal cooperation between the Dominion, KMC and UP? Meh.), Kerrigan returns to leviathan, admitting that she doesn’t know why she let the terrans leave, why she didn’t take any joy in killing them, and admits that Raynor’s vow at the end of BW still hasn’t been resolved and if anything, she’s made his desire to kill her even stronger.

Planet Y Missions

This is a stand-in for Zerus. Can be the same in every regard but not actually Zerus if you catch my drift.

Cinematic: Zeratul arrives onboard the leviathan. Kerrigan attacks him, Zeratul imparts knowledge, but it diverges here. He shows her Planet Y. He explains that he too knows of the hybrids, that he knows the location of their master. Amon, who sleeps on the world (insert C’thulu reference here). Though he has no love for her, it serves both their interests to take him out before he awakens. Kerrigan holds no love for Zeratul and is unrepentant about Raszagal (indeed, Zeratul seems a bit forgiving), but agrees.

Mission 1: The leviathan and Void Seeker make landfall. First things first, Kerrigan has to deal with Tal’darim. Those who played my version of WoL notice a difference (and to canon-games’ credit, the difference is noticeable there as well). In WoL, the Tal’darim worshiped “gods.” Here, they worship “our god.” These Tal’darim at least worship Amon singularly, and are willing to fight and die for him.

In addition, “dark zerg” are with them. It’s here that it’s revealed that due to Kerrigan’s weakened power over the zerg, hybrids have been able to ‘recruit’ a no. of zerg broods, either killing or enslaving the broodmothers that previously lorded over them. Kerrigan’s regaining her powers, but get some zerg, you can build a whole army potentially. These “dark zerg” would basically play the same way as primal zerg and would look slightly different too if the budget allowed it. Key difference though is that the primal pack leaders are unique hybrids who enact control over their zerg slaves.

So, mission 1 plays out. Contextually, Kerrigan is dealing with the Tal’darim and dark zerg, with Brakk being a hybrid commander. Gameplay-wise, instead of meat, Kerrigan’s zerg are retrieving data crystals of the Tal’darim, which can then be used to discover where exactly Amon resides on the world.

Interlude: Dehaka arrives. In this version, Dehaka is a hybrid, albeit one that has chosen to side with Kerrigan for practical and/or moral reasons. This is admittedly a kind of cop-out, but the rationale is two-fold. One, it keeps a character that I like. Secondly, it allows exposition. Over time, Kerrigan can tell Dehaka about the zerg and their philosophy, while Dehaka can tell Kerrigan about hybrid philosophy and the like. We get the same purpose primal zerg serve (insight into the nature of the zerg) but it’s expouted in a different matter. None of the zerg are happy about Dehaka’s presence nor is Zeratul, but Kerrigan is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Mission 2: Thanks to the Tal’darim data, Kerrigan knows where Amon sleeps. Instead of the primal spawning pool, it’s a ziggurat of sorts, completely impregnable. Instead of going into a chrysalis, Kerrigan spends time channeling psionic energy into it. She’s the most powerful psychic in the galaxy, and Zeratul explains that it’s anathema to Amon. There’s a lot of Tal’darim bodies around and Zeratul explains that they sacrificed their essence to him.

During this, dark zerg attack, and the line has to be held. It is. The temple shudders. It looks like the Dark One will never awake.

But he does. Amon is reborn. Kerrigan turns to face Zeratul, who gloats. He then shifts forms into…

…Emil Narud.

Narud explains that Kerrigan was right – he was running out of places to hide. So he used her. The Tal’darim sacrificed the psionic powers of protoss. Kerrigan has given Amon the psionic powers of the zerg, something the hybrids were meant to do, but thanks to the efforts of her and Raynor, too many were dying. Now, thanks to her though, the plan is complete. Amon, a xel’naga, is reborn.

Left with this revelation, and with dark zerg and hybrids still on Planet Y, Kerrigan falls back.

It’s at this point that I admit I’m stretching credulity a bit, but Narud’s a manipulator. So I figured it would be good to do a bit of manipulating and whatnot.

Mission 3: Kerrigan isn’t in a good spot. There’s an angry xel’naga out there, Narud’s nowhere to be found, and dark zerg and hybrids have still got to be dealt with. She has enough zerg to do battle, but signs are Amon’s planning to leave and if he does, that probably isn’t good. Ergo, Kerrigan sets her zerg against the dark zerg while she slips through the lines. Amon may be a god (according to Narud), but she’s the Queen of Blades. She has to deal with him now.

Thus, the mission plays out, with the primal pack leaders again replaced by unique hybrids. Kerrigan reaches Amon – in this case, a replacement for Zurvan. She seemingly manages to kill him. The threat’s dealt with. However, Narud’s still out there. And for both practical and emotional reasons, she’s going to find him and make him scream.

Interlude: This is the equivalent of when Mengsk contacts Kerrigan about Raynor. Here however, it’s Kilysa. She reports that Char has been overrun. Dark zerg and their hybrid masters have taken control of the world – this is bad, because not only is Char heavily fortified, but it’s the perfect place to build an army. Kerrigan has her zerg as well, but she’s still reasserting control. And to make matters worse, while Narud seems to be the head honcho of the uprising, there’s no sign of him on Char.

She tells Kilysa to lie low and marshal her forces, to wait for her. Kerrigan wants to take back Char, but first she needs more zerg, and that’ll take time. And if Narud isn’t on Char, then where is he?

Skygeirr Missions

Mission 1: Stukov contacts Kerrigan, telling her he knows where Narud is. She arrives, and he informs her of Skygeirr Platform, and the hybrids that are being bred there. His backstory effectively remains the same. Anyway, mission 1 plays out as normal, except the Dominion are replaced by mercenaries. Reasoned that Kerrigan is alone in her leviathan as she’s got others scouring the galaxy for Narud elsewhere, hence why the mission still presents a challenge (e.g. a full zerg force should easily be able to crush the mercenaries).

Mission 2: Plays out like in the game. Narud is indeed here and quite pissed at this point, that Kerrigan is still chasing him. Oddly enough, he seems unperturbed that Amon is dead. Either way, mission plays out.

Mission 3: Again, the same. Plays out, Kerrigan goes after Narud, etc.

Cinematic: This…well, kinda goes like this. Yes, it’s another attempt at writing script-based dialogue:

Kerrigan: “Enough running Narud. It’s over.”

Narud: “It is only beginning, etc.” (line remains the same).

Kerrigan: “Your god is dead. Now face me!”

Narud: “Faces…I have worn many faces throughout the millennia. I wore the face of Doran Routhe. I wore the face of Zeratul. I wore the face of Emil Narud. And I wore the face of-”

Kerrigan spins round, but instead of seeing Raynor, she sees…

“Kerrigan: “Duran…”

Duran: “Good to see you too…Sarah.”

Indeed, Narud has gone back to his Duran form. For the record, canon-wise, I suspect that the two may be two separate individuals. But in this version, they’re one and the same. And now, Narud has chosen the form of Duran, and is ready to do direct battle.

Battle plays out as it does in canon. Key difference is that when Kerrigan lands on Duran, she doesn’t let out an exclamation. But Duran still draws out a psi-blade and impales her, before kicking her off him. Kerrigan lies on the ground, severely wounded, while Duran rises to his feet.

Kerrigan: “You’re…but a…pawn. I am…the Queen…of Blades…”

Duran: “And my king is still alive.”

Kerrigan shows a shocked look.

Duran: “Yes, my queen. Amon lives. The stars shall herald his coming. Creation shall be remade in his image. And you…will not see any of it.”

The red blade comes down. However, a green warp blade parries it. The screen fades to black.

Interlude: Kerrigan awakens onboard the leviathan. Turns out she was saved by Zeratul, to The real Zeratul, despite her initial shock. He explains that he too has been tracking Narud, or Duran as he turns out to be, and explains/makes reference to events on the dark moon. Unlike the Zeratul of earlier in the game, this one clearly despises Kerrigan. He explains that he saved her from Duran who fled, and he brought her back to the leviathan. Someday, she will answer for the deaths of Raszagal, Fenix, and every other protoss she’s killed. But if she dies now, Amon gains full control of the Swarm. So for now, he’s willing to let her live. For the greater good.

Despite the protests of some of the zerg, Kerrigan lets Zeratul go. Honour, regret, her emerging humanity, the sense that maybe Zeratul is worth more to her alive right now…right now she just needs to rest.

Space Missions

A changeling, the same changeling seen at the start of the story, contacts Kerrigan. It’s currently on a space station. Narud (because this can happen before the Skygeirr missions, “Narud” is the term still used in dialogue here) was present here, and he deposited a xel’naga device that could be used to control zerg, wanting it replicated. It stands to reason that if Kerrigan gets control of it, maybe she could get back control of some of her broods, which would be a great advantage when it comes to retaking Char. However, the device is active, so any zerg that approaches the station would be taken control over. Therefore, Kerrigan will need to have others do the job for her…

Thus, Kerrigan takes her leviathan into the Korhal system where she contacts Valerian and, unfortunately for her, Raynor is beside him. Kerrigan delivers an ultimatum – destroy the device and facility, or she’ll wipe out every last terran until they do so, and after their little failed attempt at invading Char, she's not to be trifled with. Of course such a device would be ideal for terran use as well, but Kerrigan isn’t telling them where she is yet and indeed, Valerian and Raynor know from experience that Narud isn’t someone they can trust. Valerian, willing to protect his people, agrees. Raynor, pissed at Kerrigan over Horner and everything/everyone else, wants nothing to do with it.

Mission 1: The mission plays out, only Valerian is in control of the Bucephalus. He’s left the Dominion Fleet at Korhal because if Kerrigan turns on him out here, it’s better the fleet makes it stand where it can do some good. Kerrigan is in her leviathan on the outside of the asteroid field, making sure Valerian does his job. The mission plays out – two engage in dialogue (e.g. discussing Mengsk, while Valerian tactfully refuses to talk about anything that could endager the Dominion. He’s willing to work with Kerrigan but he isn’t stupid).

The mission is completed, with the base’s defences down. Kerrigan prepares to destroy it – the device needs power to be used, and the station can’t supply it. However, at the last second, the Hyperion warps in, with Raynor at the helm. They abscond with the artefact – they may not have the means to use it or even the knowhow, but Raynor is hellbent on vengeance. Before he can be stopped, he warps out.

Mission 2: The device may be out of Narud’s hands, but Kerrigan doesn’t want it in the hands of any terran. She may have no grudge against the Dominion now that Arcturus is gone, but she isn’t stupid. Valerian insists that he knew nothing of this, and Kerrigan can tell that he’s telling the truth. That, and he gives her the coordinates of the Hyperion (unknown to Raynor, he can track every ship in the fleet). He asks that he be allowed to bring Raynor in but Kerrigan insists on dealing with the matter herself.

Kerrigan warps in on the Hyperion, disables it, and boards the ship. She gives Raynor a chance to stand down, but he’s having none of it. He made a vow to kill her, and he’ll follow it. Unfortunately, the Raiders are willing to lay down their lives for it and while Kerrigan takes a direct route to the bridge, many are killed.

Cinematic: Kerrigan enters the bridge, killing or incapacitating all of those present bar Raynor himself, who’s incapacitated in turn. The device is there, but he can’t use it. He draws his pistol, but Raynor telekinetically takes it out of his hand. Basically, he’s at her mercy.

Raynor: “Go on then. Do it.”

Kerrigan: “No Jim. It’s not necessary.”

Raynor: “Tell that to Fenix! Tell that to Matt! Tell it to the millions you butchered!”

Kerrigan is taken aback – indeed, he’s right. She’s still a monster. Yet why can’t she take one more life here? Either way, she takes the artefact and starts to head out.

Kerrigan: “Tell your men to stand down, and they won’t be harmed.”

Raynor: “Why?! Why should I take you at your word?! Why…would you do this?!”

Kerrigan lowers her head. She’s more in touch with her humanity. Ideally this would be built up through her interactions in the story, with non-zerg individuals (e.g. Dehaka and Stukov).

Kerrigan: “On Char, I let you live. On Korhal, I let you live. Here…I’ll let you live.” She turns to face him. “Whoever I am, whatever I may become…I will never forget what I was. What we were.”

And she leaves. Raynor is left alone. Ideally his look says it all – he can’t achieve vengeance, and even if he could, it would cost even more lives. And the last lines show it.

Raider: “Sir, the zerg are pulling back! What are your orders?”

Raynor: “Stand down men. Stand down.”

Note: I’m sure at this point people are shouting “come on, what is this?!” And yeah, you may have a point. If the WoL campaign was too idealized, then this will surely be regarded as such. Still, again, even in this version of HotS, I’d like Kerrigan to develop the same way. For something/someone to bring out her humanity. She gets away with this in the above version of WoL in that she isn’t surrounded by people such as Dehaka and Stukov – people who can question her actions in a moral sense. That, and the nanites (to a lesser extent). I know many people will take issue with this, but again, I’m doing this for fun, not as a “I can do it better.”

Interlude: The device is given to Dehaka and/or Abathur to study, to learn how to use it. It’s learnt through SMS that Kerrigan does indeed keep her end of the bargain. The Dominion is of no concern with her. If they push her, she’ll push back. Maybe someday, she’ll indeed push first. But the terrans are of no concern to her right now. Duran, Amon, and the occupation of Char are.

Speaking of which, it’s time to get to that. Kilysa contacts her again, revealing that her scouts have sighted a terran among the zerg on Char – a terran Kerrigan recognises as Duran. He’s out of places to grow hybrids, it seems. But with almost every zerg on Char at his beck and call, he may not need to. True, Amon’s the greater threat, but first things first. It’s time to take back Char. It’s time to end this.

Char Missions

Mission 1: This is based on the first Char mission of canon-HotS. While the context is different, I’m trying to keep gameplay the same, and I used the Korhal scenario in WoL, so I can’t use it again. Basically, Kerrigan invades, and the Swarm and dark zerg do battle. Kerrigan makes it to the surface where Kilysa reveals her stored army, the eggs that in canon HotS, Kerrigan and Zagara competed for. They awaken them, racing against Duran’s forces who’ve discovered them and seek to establish control. Kerrigan wins out and Duran’s zerg are forced to retreat.

Mission 2: Instead of Warfield’s base, we’re dealing with the primary hive. Duran deploys his trump card – massive airborne hybrids/dark zerg/insert organism here. Still, again, Kerrigan is able to down them. Duran’s been foiled again, but there’s still a large no. of standing zerg to deal with.

Mission 3: This is actually based on the last mission of canon WoL. The artefact is deployed, but it’s for gameplay purposes, to take control of select zerg, even hybrids. Gamewise, Duran has more zerg at his disposal, though gameplay wise, Kerrigan can turn his forces against him and take the advantage. Throughout Char, Duran and Kerrigan have verbally sparred. Duran’s revealed (through tight dialogue admittedly, it would have to be filled in via SMS) that he sent humanity to the K-sector to give him a race to manipulate to create the hybrids, that Amon went into slumber after the extinction of the xel’naga, that he knew the zerg were headed for engagement with the protoss, and the two would make the perfect army. Amon will take power. And he will bask in it. And…yeah. I’m going there.

Duran: “Kerrigan, the dye is cast. Your reign is at an end. The Swarm is Amon’s. The hybrids will be the vanguard of the new age. We…are the future!” (He morphs into his green form that Narud briefly turns into in canon-HotS).

Kerrigan: “Nice quote. I’m sure it’ll echo through the ages. Izsha. Zagara. Stukov. Dehaka. All my broodmothers, all my queens, hear me. We are the Swarm. Duran has nowhere else to one. Attack, and do not stop until this planet is ours! It’s time to end this once and for all!”

…what? I can alter quotes if I want to, right?

Anyway, the mission plays out, the objective being to kill Duran (as in, get his HP down to zero in a gameplay sense) which means fighting tooth and nail through all his zerg. Eventually, the counter is met.

Duran: “This…isn’t…over…”

He slinks back into the primary hive. Kerrigan follows him.

End Cinematic

The setting is the same as in WoL, the interior of the primary hive. Duran stumbles through, morphing from his green monster form, alternating between Narud and Zeratul before settling on his Duran form. He stumbles through, coming to a halt briefly…only to be impaled by one of Kerrigan’s wings from behind. Yelling, he’s cast to the ground, only to find Kerrigan standing over him with numerous zerg at her back. Zerg that are held at bay while she prepares to deal the coup de grace, grabbing him by the neck.

Kerrigan: “Like I said Duran. I am the Swarm.

Duran: “This…isn’t…over. To Amon…you’re still…just a…pawn.”

Kerrigan impales him with her claws.

“No…I…am the queen.”

Screen fades to black. We get an end monologue like in canon-HotS, only it shows Kerrigan’s zerg on Zerus, yet the visuals make it clear they don’t plan on staying there. Kerrigan effectively delivers the same end monologue, but it ends with her boarding her leviathan and that leviathan entering warp. Char is hers again. The zerg are hers again. Duran is dead. Yet as she reminds us all, Amon is still out there.

Cheating a bit here, but if I had the cinematic budget, I’d add the following scene, either at the end of HotS, or as an intro cinematic to LotV. It shows Amon in an arena of sorts on what we recognise as Ulnar (having been seen in WoL). Amon kneels.

Amon: “My brothers.”

Voice: “Amon. You return. We…are not pleased.”

Amon: “Duran was weak. Duran was a fool. He believed I was but the only god. He believed that the hybrids were my vision, and mine alone.”

Voice: “Yet Duran failed. Your hybrids have failed.”

Amon winces, clearly perturbed. This isn’t going well.

Voice: “But it matters not. The preperations are ready. You have brought us time. The cycle shall be completed. We shall be reborn. Rise.”

Amon does so – “What would you have me do?”

Voice: “You are the harbinger of our coming. You are the messenger of fate. You will lead our forces. You shall bring our children to heel. And you shall give them our message…”

The camera pans to show the source of the voice. It’s a xel’naga, like Amon. Among a triumvirate of xel’naga. All powerful. All like gods.

“…that we are the xel’naga. And we have been reborn.”

Screen cuts to black.

Final Thoughts

I'm sure there's a bit of iffiness with this. Those who never liked the RaynorxKerrigan relationship are probably screaming bloody murder. Still, can't please everyone.

I will admit that this bears lots of similarities to BW - Kerrigan has to take back control of zerg, a battle is fought on Char as to who gets that control, etc. Still, I wanted the campaign to be told in a way that it doesn't automatically negate the gains of the WoL one. To its credit, canon-HotS doesn't do this - the Dominion is decimated, but the terrans have a chance of a better future. Likewise, the Dominion doesn't need to be decimated here. It can be bloodied, but in what's hopefully decent escalation, the threat's moved well beyond Mengsk.

Oh, and as for Amon with the xel'naga, I reasoned it worked better here. Amon in canon WoL/HotS strikes me as an aberation of the xel'naga, which adds to his character. Here, I figured that if his manipulations weren't to be of the Overmind, it would be of Duran, making him think he was the be all and end all power when instead he was laying the groundwork for the xel'naga's return. Maybe this is sacrificing Duran's/Narud's character instead of the Overmind's, but Duran was a servant anyway. We didn't learn the Overmind was a servant until canon-WoL.

Anyway, that's that. May take a crack at LotV, maybe not.

[Gradius]

giving some characters more development (e.g. Valerian) while leaving other facets (e.g. the Raynor/Kerrigan arc) undeveloped.

That's what makes it better. Good work. It feels like an actual "Wings of Liberty".

She gives Valerian silent credit for killing Mengsk - she got her revenge back in Brood War

Leaving Mengsk alive only so that he can die at the hands of his own son is a far superior revenge than simply blowing his head up with magicks. I approve.

I'm curious how you would handle the choices though? First, I'd like choices that pose an actual moral dilemma i.e. resocialization or using bio-weapons/infestation or having to sacrifice colonists. Second, I'd like the choices to be acknowledged later on, perhaps with gameplay consequences. Make it so.

[Robear]

Cheating a bit here, but if I had the cinematic budget, I’d add the following scene, either at the end of HotS, or as an intro cinematic to LotV. It shows Amon in an arena of sorts on what we recognise as Ulnar (having been seen in WoL). Amon kneels.

Amon: “My brothers.”

Voice: “Amon. You return. We…are not pleased.”

Amon: “Duran was weak. Duran was a fool. He believed I was but the only god. He believed that the hybrids were my vision, and mine alone.”

Voice: “Yet Duran failed. Your hybrids have failed.”

Amon winces, clearly perturbed. This isn’t going well.

Voice: “But it matters not. The preperations are ready. You have brought us time. The cycle shall be completed. We shall be reborn. Rise.”

Amon does so – “What would you have me do?”

Voice: “You are the harbinger of our coming. You are the messenger of fate. You will lead our forces. You shall bring our children to heel. And you shall give them our message…”

The camera pans to show the source of the voice. It’s a xel’naga, like Amon. Among a triumvirate of xel’naga. All powerful. All like gods.

“…that we are the xel’naga. And we have been reborn.”

To me, this feels a bit too much like Dreadlords/Archimonde/Mannoroth reporting to Kil'jaeden, or Sargeras, too WC3-y. But I guess I'm just still [incredibly] opposed to the idea of the Xel'naga. I mean, the Zerg wiped them out so easily, before they had even assimilated anything from other planets. I'd like them better as just normal alien dudes than as some shadowy, nearly all-powerful evil cabal.

Looking forward to hearing what others have to say about the rest, though! Definitely like Narud actually doing some manipulating.

Especially after all the manipulation Kerrigan did in Brood War, it's good to have the tables turned a bit, though getting this sense across through dialogue is tricky.

[sandwich_bird]

To me, this feels a bit too much like Dreadlords/Archimonde/Mannoroth reporting to Kil'jaeden, or Sargeras, too WC3-y. But I guess I'm just still [incredibly] opposed to the idea of the Xel'naga. I mean, the Zerg wiped them out so easily, before they had even assimilated anything from other planets. I'd like them better as just normal alien dudes than as some shadowy, nearly all-powerful evil cabal.

Looking forward to hearing what others have to say about the rest, though! Definitely like Narud actually doing some manipulating.

Especially after all the manipulation Kerrigan did in Brood War, it's good to have the tables turned a bit, though getting this sense across through dialogue is tricky.

I agree that the Xel'naga themselves shouldn't be like the Reapers from ME or something but I'd accept that a small portion of them became more than regular Xel'nagas.

As for your story Hawki; good job! I'm ok with the ''romance'' between Raynor and Kerrigan but in the end I'd like to see Raynor + Zeratul kill her in LotV.

Personally, I always wanted to see kerrigan actually ending up controlling the hybrids through manipulations and etc, making her the big evil bitch again and the story ending with Raynor + zeratul + everyone else allying to get rid of her once and for all. I might try to write something out like you did just for fun.

[Visions of Khas]

Hawki, I have to admit, I giggled like a little japanese schoolgirl when I imagined the scene where Zeratul saves Kerrigan's ass from Duran's blade.

Voice: “You are the harbinger of our coming. You are the messenger of fate. You will lead our forces. You shall bring our children to heel. And you shall give them our message…”

Sooo... Amon assumes direct control?