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Thread: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

  1. #1

    Default Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    In grand tradition!


    SC and BW


    Kerrigan: Wow, what a dream. Guess that spoils the ending for anyone who didn't see the leaked vid. Well, time for work!

    Valerian: Okay Kerrigan, we're going to start by giving you a tutorial on Zerg base management.
    Kerrigan: Cool, the last time a Mengsk tried to control Zerg he cut out the middle-man.
    Valerian: Well I'm a good guy, which is why I'm trusting you, former Queen Bitch of the Universe, to build a base and not rampage around the facility in the process.
    Kerrigan: What? Rampage around the facility? Okay!
    Valerian: Stop it Kerrigan, this is not cool!
    Kerrigan: You are so lucky that for no established reason I can't make anything better than Zerglings. Just kidding, trollolol
    Valerian: Well I'm convinced you're trustworthy, come on out.
    Kerrigan: Arcturus was a prick but he wasn't stupid, at least.

    Raynor: Way to go, you destroyed millions of dollars worth of equipment and terrorized innocent scientists. I am so glad you're a good guy now or else I'd be really confused.
    Kerrigan: Regretting bringing me back?
    Raynor: Ask me that sometime when you aren't in that outfit.
    Kerrigan: I heard about Tychus. Sorry. Must have been hard.
    Raynor: Not really, it was you or him, and Tychus doesn't have a far as I ever knew
    Kerrigan: You should have let him kill me, you did swear to kill me after all, massacring millions or something.
    Raynor: Well I was impulsive back then, forgot I'd never gotten any from you. Anyway, what say we blow this joint, I've got a couch on the Hyperion with our name on it.
    Kerrigan: You being a horny pervert isn't as funny as I remember...but sure, what the hell. Haven't gotten nookie in two years.
    Raynor: You were infested for four years.
    Kerrigan: And?
    Raynor: Nevermind.

    Nova: Find Kerrigan, do not let her escape!
    Raynor: Dominion's attacking, we've gotta fight our way out!
    Kerrigan: Just like old times.
    Raynor: Alright, a kiss! Okay hang on, let me open the codpiece on my armor.
    Kerrigan: Jim, the Dominion is attacking!
    Raynor: I'll be quick, I promise! Hey, come back!

    Kerrigan: Check it out, I've got a psionic Yamato Gun and an area of effect stun now. I'm so badass!
    Raynor: Yeah, the campaign would be pretty easy if you kept those abilities.
    Kerrigan: E-heh, yeah, if...
    Raynor: Damn, a lot of Zerglings around here. Got carried away huh?
    Kerrigan: Well I'd been stuck in a cell for hours, had to entertain myself somehow.

    Raynor: Damn Sarah, the plot contrivances say this collapsed bridge is going to cut us off for most of the game. I'll go run off alone and get captured.
    Kerrigan: That seems unwise.
    Raynor: Yup, but why break a streak?

    Kerrigan: Where's Jim?
    Valerian: He ran off alone and got captured.
    Kerrigan: Somehow this is your fault! I'm going to find him.
    Valerian: Why not just skip coming here and use the Dropship to look for him in the first place?
    Kerrigan: Shut up, do not question the Queen Bitch of the Universe!

    Kerrigan: Okay, let's see if I remember two missions ago. Uh, Spawning Pool, Drone!
    Drone: Now mutating Hatchery
    Kerrigan: Damn sticky keys.
    Naktul: My Queen has returned! Let us eradicate these Terrans!
    Kerrigan: Good, I'll need help to destroy the cannon and save Jim.
    Naktul: Who is this "Jim"?
    Kerrigan: He's a friend and may or may not one day be my lover. Or was. It's never been clear.
    Naktul: What is a "lover"? Is that like what Infestors do when they infest Terrans?
    Kerrigan: Surprisingly yes.

    Kerrigan: Kill them all, no one escapes!
    Naktul: Yes, the Queen has returned!
    Kerrigan: Queen?'re right, I lost myself in the battle, and was acting like...I have to go contemplate this slip in behavior and after some angsting decide I'm cool with it.

    Nova: You're mine Raynor! I might have been willing to look the other way if you'd helped me with Tosh, but too bad.
    Raynor: I did help you with Tosh though!
    Nova: That's not how I remember it.
    Raynor: Yeah, we blew up his base, you knifed his skull, you showed me your breasts, it was awesome!
    Nova: WHAT, you saw my breasts? You are so captured!

    Arcturus: Jim Raynor is dead! Dominion, we are safe!
    Kerrigan: I instantly believed this known liar and media manipulator! Now to take my vengeance on him by destroying the Dominion and killing countless humans!
    Zergling: Scree! (I concur, my mistress, let us act like the climax of the last game was a waste of time!)
    Kerrigan: You're adorable. I'm going to name you Balzac.
    Zergling: Scree! (This name is pleasing to me, mistress! Can I get a tummy rub?)

    Kerrigan: Okay, I've coincidentally landed in my old base of operations. That's fortunate.
    Izsha: My Queen, it is good you've returned.
    Kerrigan: Who are you?
    Izsha: I am Izsha, my Queen. I am a minor character from a novel that was a harmless Terran civilian you infested to try and make others like yourselves. It failed so you retooled me as your obedient minion.
    Kerrigan: Wow, one of my former victims turned loyal through infestation. I'm feeling so many complex emotions right now, I feel bad and want to apologize at some level, but on another you don't even seem to care, and your aid will be invaluable. Is it right to use you now that I know I made you this way? So many moral quandaries....
    Izsha: Boring! Go to the surface and kill Zagara to take over her brood.
    Kerrigan: Oh, okay then.

    Abathur: I am Abathur. Serve Queen of Blades. Spin essence into strands. Make new mutations. Improve Swarm.
    Kerrigan: Why do you talk that way?
    Abathur: Indigestion. Gas. Bletching lines. Four triple-cheese burritos with hot sauce last night. Why spending entire game on Zerg toilet.
    Kerrigan: Anything else you do here?
    Abathur: Host evolution missions. Deploy experimental Zerg against enemy. Test new strands. Condemn dozens of worlds to infestation off-screen. Pretty horrible. Best not to think about. Call questions of morality.
    Kerrigan: I like, I like.

    Zagara: You are not the Queen of Blades!
    Kerrigan: Sure I am. I just lack the infested body...and powers...and badass bone wings...and delightful bitchiness and cunning that once upon a time made me an awesome villain...
    Zagara: Told you!
    Kerrigan: Well I still have this weird Zergy-hair stuff.
    Zagara: Why do you still have that anyway?
    Kerrigan: Because Banelings.
    Zagara: Well this was a predictable outcome.
    Kerrigan: You will by my Dragon and you will serve me and someday take my place at Head of the Swarm as I tutor you in how to lead.
    Zagara: Why, I never even learned Lair-level tech.
    Kerrigan: Lesson one - first come, first serve.
    Zagara: Yes my Queen.

    Zagara: The only way to Warfield's camp is the Bone Trench.
    Kerrigan: Damn, if only we had Mutalisks or Overlords with Ventral Sacs! Then we could fly in.
    Zagara: Warfield is sending giant battlecruisers at us.
    Kerrigan: We'll awaken these scourge nests to destroy them.
    Zagara: Why didn't Warfield destroy those?
    Kerrigan: Lesson two - always rely on the incompetence and oversight of the writer.
    Zagara: Writer?
    Kerrigan: I mean enemy. Yes, enemy.

    Kerrigan: Time to assault his base!
    Warfield: Nuke the bastards!
    Kerrigan: Hey, he nuked without a Ghost to target! Hax, I call hax!

    Warfield: How could you, Kerrigan? The same men and women that fought hard, risked their lives, saw their friends die, all to see you brought back. And now you return to kill them. Are you proud of yourself?
    Kerrigan: Huh? Sorry I wasn't listening, Balzac was asking if he could have your other arm.
    Zergling: Scree! (I always did prefer dark meat!)
    Warfield: What did Raynor ever see in you?
    Kerrigan: He's dead you fool! Arcturus killed him!
    Warfield: What? The man who saved my life was executed by my government? I swore to aid Prince Valerian, if he saw fit to pardon Raynor that's enough! I shall join you in claiming vengeance for Raynor, perhaps work as a mole in the Dominion to minimize casualties when you attack.
    Kerrigan: Minimize casualties?
    Warfield: Ow. If I'd had more than ten minutes of screentime between the two games this scene might have had some impact.
    Soldier: General it's a miracle, the Zerg are pulling back! And...wait, an Infestor has unburrowed behind us, it's sticking out some sort of....AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    Zergling: Scree! (Oh great, the dreams are going to start again)

    Izsha: With Char under your command, we must find Na'fash and bring her back to the fold. She's on Kaldir, an icy world similar to Braxis. She hoped the icy harshness of the planet would strengthen her brood.
    Kerrigan: Then why didn't she just go to Braxis?
    Izsha: Travel fees.

    Kerrigan: Okay, so Na'fash is dead and her brood is mine. Well we're done, let's head out.
    Protoss: The Queen of Blades? But you're so frail and human! We must alert the fleet!
    Kerrigan: Oh goodie, more innocents to kill!
    Izsha: The psi-link spires are transmitting to Shakuras, we must destroy them.
    Kerrigan: It's a good thing the Protoss are incapacitated every three minutes and there's no time limit, or this mission might be mildly challenging.

    Izsha: My Queen, we captured a Protoss.
    Lesarra: Please, we are civilian colonists, let us live.
    Kerrigan: If you live you'll call the fleet and wipe me out.
    Lesarra: You could leave.
    Kerrigan: They're chased me.
    Lesarra: You could tell them you're just after the Dominion, who is their enemy, and that you're reformed. I could speak on your behalf for leniency. And Zeratul is going to join you in two missions, maybe he could help. You don't have to be our enemy.
    Kerrigan: Diplomacy is for pussies, I wanna kill things. Besides, I might still want to fight Protoss in evolution missions.
    Lesarra: It's fortunate you're a good guy now, or I'd be very confused right now.

    Izsha: The Protoss are sending shuttles through warp portals to Shakuras.
    Kerrigan: It's a good thing these portals aren't guarded, or this mission might be mildly challenging.

    Izsha: The Protoss are now launching in a large craft, we are too far to intercept.
    Kerrigan: It's a good thing they didn't do all these escape tricks at once, or I might be royally screwed right now. Lesarra, I'm sorry.
    Lesarra: For what?
    Kerrigan: I'm going to implant you with a larvae that will use you to sneak onto the ship, kill you, grow into a brood mother, spawn a brood, and kill everything on the ship.
    Lesarra: And you're sorry.
    Kerrigan: Very.

    Niadra: It's a good thing the Protoss sensors are easily fooled by walls of steam and hiding in creatures, or else they'd killed me.
    Kerrigan: Take it from me, the Protoss are idiots when it comes to dealing with me.
    Niadra: How so?
    Kerrigan: We'll sit down sometime and watch a LP of Episode IV.

    Kerrigan: Good, we're done with Braxis, let's go.
    Izsha: You mean Kaldir.
    Kerrigan: Like anyone cares.

    Kerrigan: What are you doing here Zeratul?
    Zeratul: You could have asked me that without kicking me around the room.
    Kerrigan: It's the way the Zerg say hello.
    Zeratul: An odd custom.
    Kerrigan: Better than how the Infestors say "I love you".
    Zergling: Scree! (Three generations of rebirth and I've still got the stretch marks.)
    Zeratul: What is that?
    Kerrigan: That's Balzac, my new pet.
    Zergling: Scree! (Sometimes when I go to sleep at night, I think I still smell the fungal growth fluids)
    Zeratul: He's...cute.
    Zergling: Scree! (I really need to speak to my therapist, she says my aggressive tendencies towards my comrades may acting out repressed hatred towards that Infestor)

    Zeratul: You must go to Zerus, the Zerg homeworld, to grow stronger.
    Kerrigan: I thought Zerus is like, in another galaxy or something.
    Zeratul: We'll take a shortcut through the plot hole, I mean, worm hole.
    Kerrigan: No, you were right the first time.

    Kerrigan: I thought Zerus was a volcanic planet.
    Zeratul: And I thought your Leviathan was destroyed at the end of the last game.
    Kerrigan: Point taken. So what's so special about this place?
    Zeratul: You're here to become re-infested and stronger than ever.
    Kerrigan: Seems to make the last game a bit pointless. Raynor wouldn't be happy if I got re-infested.
    Zeratul: I've seen his fanfiction about you. Trust me, he'll deal.

    Izsha: To awaken the Ancient One, we must feed it biomass.
    Kerrigan: Cool, let's mutate up a few dozen Zerglings and march them in two-by-two
    Izsha: That will not work.
    Kerrigan: Why not?
    Izsha: ....I don't know.
    Brakk: Broken pack, you shall suffer before the might of the primal Zerg.
    Kerrigan: Really, the primal Zerg refer to themselves that way?

    Zurvan: Greetings. I am Zurvan. I am old enough to witness the arrival of the xel'naga, and the creation of the Overmind.
    Kerrigan: Whoa, you've been asleep a long time.
    Zurvan: Jello shooters, sake, vodka and jagermeister, makes one hell of a hangover. We used to call it "The Eastern Tour". Anyway, you stink of Amon, the traitor xel'naga who created the Overmind and corrupted the Zerg.
    Kerrigan: I thought the xel'naga created the Overmind to ensure the Zerg never fractured like the Protoss?
    Zurvan: That's not how I remember it.

    Kerrigan: So now what?
    Zurvan: Now you go here, the first spawning pool the first Zerg arose from.
    Kerrigan: Does it have a jacuzzi setting?
    Zurvan: We're Zerg, not barbarians.
    Kerrigan: So this pool will make me stronger than ever, strong enough to unite the Swarm and challenge the Dominion. But, is it right I resort to this just for revenge, renounce my regained humanity so quickly and alienate my Terran allies, all for a power boost? To take back the form that inspired hatred and terror across the galaxy after discarding it to reform for the better?
    Zagara: I'll do if you don't want it.
    Kerrigan: Screw dat, bitch ain't overthrowin' me!

    Kerrigan: It's a good thing that pool spawns locusts that wipe out everything and recharges perfectly in time with enemy attacks, or this mission might be mildly challenging.
    Zagara: Well it is the most challenging mission of the game.
    Kerrigan: And it also happens be one of the few missions without me as a hero, what a coincidence.

    Kerrigan: I'm back! The power of Zerus has transformed me, coincidentally into pretty much the same form as before but with some cool purple glow effects. I guess that's convenient at least.
    Zurvan: Now you must subjugate the three pack leaders to take Zerus for yourself.
    Kerrigan: So a giant Nydus Worm that spits lava, a giant Roach that acts like a cartoon bull, and a giant Swarm Host that shits out Banelings. This is really the best eons of natural selection and forced evolution can do?
    Zurvan: And the best the Swarm ever got was a giant sentient slug they dubbed a Cerebrate.
    Kerrigan: Well we ran out of creative ideas after the Defiler.
    Dehaka: Also I am here to join you.
    Kerrigan: And you'll do what exactly?
    Dehaka: I'll clean up the toilet when Abathur finally finishes.
    Kerrigan: Good enough.

    Zurvan: Nice work killing the three of them. Now I'll kill you and take all their essence for my own!
    Kerrigan: You're betraying me! Well, I guess I'd had a couple betrayals coming.
    Zurvan: Hey, we're Zerg, it's sort of what we do.

    Izsha: My Queen, we have been contacted by a cameo appearance. He says he wishes to appease the fans.
    Stukov: Greetings. I am Alexi Stukov, and I need your help. This lab has been my prison for four years as they experimented on me, I wish it destroyed. Let us work together to do it!
    Kerrigan: Weren't you killed under my orders, making all that my fault?
    Stukov: But then you killed Gerard and the UED, so we're cool.
    Kerrigan: ....okay.

    Stukov: This facility is run by Dr. Narud, where he creates and studies Hybrids to awaken his god, the fallen xel'naga Amon.
    Kerrigan: Narud? Isn't that sort of like the name of that guy who served me in Brood War? What's his name...
    Stukov: I don't recall. Anyway, we're gonna go down there and kill him.
    Kerrigan: We'll bust in using the Infestors to tentacle ra-er, infest the Terrans and send them against the Protoss.
    Stukov: They have gas vents they can use to kill the infested.
    Kerrigan: Why does it kill the infested instantly and leave normal Zerg alone?
    Stukov: Budget cuts.

    Kerrigan: Ah! A Hybrid is psionically attacking me! My Swarm, get them!
    Stukov: For each Hybrid you destroy, Narud will awaken another.
    Kerrigan: It's a good thing he doesn't awaken more than one at a time, or this mission might be mildly challenging.

    Narud: You shall die, Kerrigan! Imma firing mah LAZER!
    Kerrigan: Well Imma firing mah counter LAZER!
    Stukov: Kerrigan, that LAZER will kill you instantly if it hits you.
    Kerrigan: Stukov, destroy those temples, their energy is powering his LAZER!
    Stukov: Why are we spelling laser that way?
    Kerrigan: It's supposed to be cool.

    Narud: Kerrigan, you're too late. Amon is awakened, the Hybrids are ready.
    Kerrigan: Narud, you're pretty confident. You must have not seen the pattern by now.
    Narud: Pattern?
    Kerrigan: Whenever I get a cutscene with someone, I kick their ass. I choose you, Nydus Worm! Use Tackle!
    Narud: Behold my shapeshifting powers and epic psionic skills!
    Kerrigan: What are you anyway?
    Narud: A poorly explained plot device cleverly disguised as a character.
    Kerrigan: Stabby stabby!
    Narud: Ow.
    Kerrigan: Whoa, that's what I looked like as a human? No wonder Raynor is so pervy for me.

    Stukov: So, I suppose you'll be killing you now.
    Kerrigan: You can stay if you like. I'm sure you in no way have any desire to betray me out of petty vengeance or something silly like that.
    Stukov: Nope. Not a bit.

    Kerrigan: Oh hey, a portal transmitter device.
    Mengsk: Kerrigan, back to your true form I see.
    Kerrigan: Does this get the Movie-On-Demand stations?
    Mengsk: Raynor is alive, and if you want him to stay that way, keep out of Dominion space.
    Kerrigan: Oh cool, we get the Comedy Network!
    Mengsk: Hey! I'm taunting you with the reveal Raynor is alive!
    Kerrigan: Show of hands, is this a reveal to anyone?
    Mengsk: Very funny.
    Kerrigan: I thought so.

    Matt: Kerrigan? You're infested again? Well don't I feel wasted.
    Kerrigan: Jim is alive, we need to find him.
    Matt: I instantly trust you. We need Colonel Orlan.
    Mira: Sorry, I only work for Jim.
    Matt: We need Orlan to find Jim.
    Mira: Sucks for you.
    Matt: Come on, I'm your husband!
    Mira: Cheapskate, get me a real diamond and we'll talk.
    Matt: Time to deal with this like how Kerrigan deals with her problems - unnecessary violence and mass murdering!
    Mira: Go fighters, defend me, but don't destroy the Hyperion, you'll kill Matthew!
    Valerian: Why are we fighting her again?

    Matt: Raynor is being held on a prison ship. Tosh will save him.
    Kerrigan: I'll handle this. Tosh needs to pull that knife out of the back of his skull.
    Matt: What knife?
    Kerrigan: The one Nova killed him with.
    Matt: That's not how I remember it.

    Raynor: Sarah? What have you done!?
    Kerrigan: What seemed like a good idea at the time.
    Raynor: Well we've all been there, but the worst I ever did was wake up with a pair of Chinese twin schoolgirls, I didn't go infest myself! Fenix must be spitting in his grave...or would if he had a mouth.
    Fans: *GASP* He said the F-word!
    Kerrigan: You swore to kill the Queen of Blades. So here's your chance.
    Raynor: This would be really suspenseful if you weren't the protagonist of the game.
    Kerrigan: It's the thought that counts.

    Kerrigan: Valerian, it's time to invade Korhal. Thousands of soldiers will die, the planet's cities will be in ruins, your father will die, and the Dominion might very well fall apart. I need to know you're okay with this.
    Valerian: Yup.
    Kerrigan: Wow, you are a Mengsk.
    Valerian: Just land on the outskirts of the city so we can evacuate civilians first.
    Kerrigan: That will make this even harder.
    Matt: We've invaded Korhal before Kerrigan, trust me, it ain't hard.
    Kerrigan: Well none of the missions so far have been challenging, why break a streak?

    Arcturus: Kerrigan! How dare you come to my world!
    Kerrigan: Arcturus, you're as drunk as Zurvan if you thought a threat would scare me off. They didn't call me the Queen Bitch of the Universe because I chickened out.
    Arcturus: You're the only one who called herself that.
    Kerrigan: Well you called yourself an Emperor.
    Arcturus: I am an Emperor.
    Kerrigan: And I am the Queen Bitch of the Universe. The dumbass tyrant says what?
    Arcturus What?
    Kerrigan: Exactly.
    Arcturus: AAAARG! Dominion, make her pay for that mildly insulting banter! The invasion is one thing, but no one calls me names!

    Izsha: The Dominion has a Psi-Destroyer, it destroys Zerg with a hive mind connection.
    Dehaka: My pack and I will aid you, we are immune!
    Zergling: Scree! (Why was I even in those early cutscenes? What happened to me? My existence is without purpose!)
    Abathur: Finished bowel evacuation. Require toilet paper. Balzac carapace adequate.
    Zergling: Scree! (Scree!)

    Kerrigan: Time to assault the Imperial palace.
    Raynor: We're here to help.
    Kerrigan: I thought you hated me sine I got re-infested.
    Raynor: I looked over my old fanfics about you. I'll deal.
    Arcturus: Odin, defend the Dominion!
    Kerrigan: Zerg, blow it up!
    Odin: Ow.
    Raynor: Whoa, you destroyed the Odin!
    Kerrigan: It's not hard when your competent.
    Arcturus: Oh it is on like Donkey Kong!

    Kerrigan: Arcturus. Not running?
    Arcturus: Why run when I have this!
    Kerrigan: Oh no, the xel'naga artifact! With this you could have destroyed all my Zerg and de-infested me! That...might have been helpful ten minutes ago.
    Arcturus: Now you will die, Kerrigan.
    Raynor: Change of plans.
    Arcturus: NO! My plan of letting them fight their way into my office was foolproof, where did I go wrong!?!?
    Kerrigan: Time to die Arcturus.
    Arcturus: Go ahead, take your vengeance and choke on it! I swear, someday, somehow, even if I am not alive to see it, Fluffernutters shall be avenged!
    Raynor: Arcturus, we didn't kill your damn cat. Valerian accidentally hit it while practicing with his katanas.
    Arcturus: Oh, son of a bit-

    Raynor: I think we should celebrate with a victory screw.
    Kerrigan: Can't, I've got Amon to fight in the next game.
    Raynor: Oh come on, it'll just take a minute, not even last I timed myself.
    Kerrigan: Maybe when I get back, until then just enjoy your fanfics.
    Raynor: And fanart!
    Kerrigan: Whatever.
    SC2 handle - "DrakeyC, code 929"

    I ARE A PROPHET! I've predicted three major aspects of SC2 correct, more or less.

    June 2007 - I predicted the Protoss campaign would give you new tech as you conducted diplomacy among tribes.

    Hidden Content:
    July 18th 2010 - I predicted Raynor would broadcast information of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis to discredit him and incite rebellion.

    Hidden Content:
    June 16th 2010 I predicted the Voice in the Darkness was the commanding force behind the Hybrids. I'm calling it half-right.

  2. #2
    Gradius's Avatar SC:L Addict
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    Nice. I always love these.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    A sardonic but incredibly accurate summary of the Heart of the Swarm campaign. I think you didn’t miss one single retcon. I think the dialog writers of the campaign should look at how their campaign really looks like if you take the dialog for what it is. Anyways, nice work!
    Hey guys I want you all to know that my team is playing/did great this weekend so I am going to go ahead and make it my status because I know you all care and want to know my opinion on it.
    -sports fan/douchebag

    Visit my blog!

  4. #4

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    Normally, these parody things don't really do it for me, but this one...

    Izsha: My Queen, we have been contacted by a cameo appearance. He says he wishes to appease the fans.

    Aww yeah, that felt good.
    Aaand sold.

    Be it through hallowed grounds or lands of sorrow
    The Forger's wake is bereft and fallow

    Is the residuum worth the cost of destruction and maiming;
    Or is the shaping a culling and exercise in taming?

    The road's goal is the Origin of Being
    But be wary through what thickets it winds.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    Thanks, I had fun with that too . I actually was confused in-game with Balzac/Zergling, seriously, why did he get emphasis in the early cutscenes then suddenly vanish?

    Also, pervert hornball Raynor is pretty much The Artifact now from the original parodies...but given what he's done in the sequel so far, Raynor thinking with his dick instead of his head isn't that much of an exaggeration is it?
    SC2 handle - "DrakeyC, code 929"

    I ARE A PROPHET! I've predicted three major aspects of SC2 correct, more or less.

    June 2007 - I predicted the Protoss campaign would give you new tech as you conducted diplomacy among tribes.

    Hidden Content:
    July 18th 2010 - I predicted Raynor would broadcast information of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis to discredit him and incite rebellion.

    Hidden Content:
    June 16th 2010 I predicted the Voice in the Darkness was the commanding force behind the Hybrids. I'm calling it half-right.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    why did he get emphasis in the early cutscenes then suddenly vanish?
    I'm not too bothered. I think the zergling just represented her lingering connection to the Swarm, and the Swarm to her. It was a metaphor given flesh. By the time Kerrigan went Primal Queen, no metaphor was needed. In my opinion.
    Aaand sold.

    Be it through hallowed grounds or lands of sorrow
    The Forger's wake is bereft and fallow

    Is the residuum worth the cost of destruction and maiming;
    Or is the shaping a culling and exercise in taming?

    The road's goal is the Origin of Being
    But be wary through what thickets it winds.

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    Dehaka: I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indocrination, Communist subversion and the International Communist Conspiracy to use water flouridation to sap and impurify all of my precious bodily fluids!
    Last edited by Laurentian; 03-16-2013 at 07:02 PM.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    Lol. That was fantastic. Poor Mr. Fluffernutters!
    I've fought for the Terran revolution, I've seen the promise of the Protoss, and now I'm ready to join the might of the Swarm...

  9. #9

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    Fans: *GASP* He said the F-word!
    Yes. This is accurate.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    Default Re: Heart of the Swarm Abridged (Spoilers)

    Kerrigan: Lesson two - always rely on the incompetence and oversight of the writer.
    Zagara: Writer?
    Kerrigan: I mean enemy. Yes, enemy.

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