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Hm... needs to be funnier.
As for a remedy to your predicament, I suggest you go back to playing Sc1 and forget that Sc2 existed. :D
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Or, you could try on Metzen's "drugged-out stupor" persona. Guaranteed laffs there!
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Even I'm starting to get disgusted with all the SC2 bashing.
What's sad is that they're actually right about this.....Quote:
everyone at blizzard just assumes that anything with the Bilzzard logo will sell millions, no matter how good it is.
Go to Battle.net and read the posts of 'certain people' and you'll miss the SC2 bashing bandwagon :oQuote:
Originally Posted by TheEconomist
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You know it's funny you criticise Metzen at the start but barely say a thing about the story.
I agree with the overall sentiment but I find your review badly written. I also disagree with the first half of your gameplay section:
No. They actually mostly all switched to SC2. See: http://us.battle.net/sc2/en/blog/654...t_II-6_25_2012Quote:
StarCraft has turned into a micro game, into a macro game. Remember all those stories about Koreans making millions of dollars? What happened to them? Did North Korea wipe them out? No, they're all playing Brood War or League of Legends cause this is a fucking stupid game.
Both games also balance macro and micro very well in my opinion but I agree that the whole death ball thing is rather boring compared to how it was in BW.
I don't even know what's that supposed to mean? Idra is american and he has been playing bw before sc2. The main protagonist is Raynor and he's voiced by an American. Tychus is voiced by an American, Matt Horner is voiced by an American, etc. Good try.Quote:
So just like the Star Wars prequels, the Star Craft sequels introduce to us whiny Canadians as their main protagonists.
I guess you didn't play much BW competitively either right? Build orders weren't born with sc2, they've been around for a while. Trying to win a BW game without following one is exactly like trying to win a SC2 game without one.Quote:
You know, it gets horribly boring when you have to have the same build order, time it exactly...
I wish you hadn't said this. Kind of ruins your credibility, you know? Considering it's an easily proven, mathematical fact that there are more build orders in SC2 now than in SCBW towards the end. If you're wanting diversity, you're playing the wrong game, and we've all known this for over a decade.Quote:
You know, it gets horribly boring when you have to have the same build order, time it exactly...
No. You're missing my point.Quote:
Go to Battle.net and read the posts of 'certain people' and you'll miss the SC2 bashing bandwagon
I just find it sad and pathetic that people are still going on and on about something that should've been accepted years ago, that cannot and will not be changed, when there's so much else that could be done with a life. I was one of the most pissed off when SC was released, it came out, I ranted, make some walls of text, but then quickly moved on and hardly ever brought it up after that. WTF people? Pointing out the occasional plot hole or looking at the stories stupidity from a new angle is fine, in moderation, but this whole generally bashing the game with a hateful review has really been over done. It should've stopped when Gradius did his. That was a nice cap to the rage of the community and, in a perfect world, everyone would've dropped it there and moved on to something worth worrying about.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If StarCraft upsets you, drop it and start categorizing the pellet droppings of a real sci fi universe. You are all basically debating the hunting for philosophical elements of Spongebob when you could read Aristotle or Plato. Move on. I can recommend you a metric fuck ton of sci fi universes more deserving of the effort.
aannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we're back.
Let the QQ recommence!
Meh, I'm all for seeing SC2 bashings if it's at least something new.
WoL however, has been done to death (granted, its now almost 3 years old), but once in awhile I hear a criticism that's sorta new, like I never realized until a month ago from a youtube review that Gradius linked here had pointed out that Blizzard retconed Raynor's line from saying "Your not just gunna leave em" to "Your not just gunna leave her" during the end New Gettysburg dialogue. I couldn't help but face-palm.
As for HotS...it is only 4 months old so far. I still get a good laugh out all the bashing towards it...except for perhaps the Zerus retcon. That got old pretty quick, but only because it was probably the biggest criticism people pointed at towards the story. That and the horribly executed bridge scene that split Raynor and Kerrigan up.
Owned.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEconomist
Even though it's sort of targeted towards me. :P
It's really not, I promise you. I've never seen you try to find meaning in the meaningless nonsense of StarCraft II, just point out its flaws in an entertaining way. SC1, though, you could go more in-depth with, which is the only time I've seen you do so. I used to do it tons myself.Quote:
Even though it's sort of targeted towards me. :P
What I'm talking about are the people who keep harping on the same things we hashed out years ago. I see these topics all of the time, rarely comment in them. I see yours though and I expect to see some new fail brought to life which entertains me thus justifying the topics existence. For example, saying "StarCaft II is a huge disappointment" is frustrating to hear 824923423 times and then be expected to sit through it another 98348324238423 times. Reading about how Blizzard retconned Jim Raynors line, for example, to make it more in line with the new manby pamby teen drama direction they're heading, is a perfectly valid, interesting, and worth while discussion. This topic is not.
Exactly.Quote:
Meh, I'm all for seeing SC2 bashings if it's at least something new.
I just haven't seen anythign new since Gradius gave the magnum opus of all reviews. They aren't even reviews anymore, just tantrums. Get over it people.
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And SCBW was the same one or two build orders with lots of micro. Was great. For its time. Then for another 12 years. Then most of us welcomed some change.Quote:
And the point is, the game is the build orders with the lack of micro.
And then the whiners came.
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Yeah, we need to see more funny and witty SC2 bashings! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by RetlocLive
Raynor: You...are so...beautiful. :)
Kerrigan: It's only because I'm so in love. :rolleyes:
Raynor: No, it's because I'm so in love with you. :D
Kerrigan: So love has blinded you? :confused:
Raynor: Well...that's not exactly what I meant. :p
Kerrigan: It's probably true. :o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW1h4iKeMZ0
ROBERT KOTICK: ONCEEE MOARRRR ACTIVISION SHALL RULE THE GALAXY... We shall have... Call Of Duty™ 48.
---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mWlgiWMq5M
METZEN: I have brought DRM, no LAN, and Insane Troll Logic fanboys to my new Activision!
BILL ROPER: Your new Activision?
METZEN: Don't make me sue you.
BILL ROPER: Christopher, my allegiance is to Blizzard Entertainment, to good games!
METZEN: If you're not with me... Then I'll call my army of lawyers!
BILL ROPER: http://i.imgur.com/XrNPo.png Bitch please.
---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqSlaMME-Mk
METZEN: I should of known Blizzard North were attempting to criticize my amazing epic!
BILL ROPER: Christopher, Robert Kotick is evil!
METZEN: From my point of view, Hellgate: London is evil!
BILL ROPER: Not again...
---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo4cFViNLes
ROBERT KOTICK: The remaining Blizzard North, will be hunted down, and sued!
The failed lawsuit against Blizzard North has left the Treyarch subsidiary down 55.00 points. But I assure you. Our stocks, have never been higher!
In order to ensure the high-stocks and continuing life-destroying WoW addictions, Blizzard Entertainment, will be reorganized, into the first, ACTIVISION BLIZZARD! For a safe, and secure, online-gaming experience!
---
FORUM POSTER: Where are the Umojans? Where are the Kel-Morians?
2 hours later
BRIAN KINDERGAN: Hmm... these haters are QQing about these old factions from 15 years ago in the SC: Manual. Yo' homie, what should we do?
METZEN: We should have them fight an epic battle on the Xel'Naga artefact with like, epic energy flowing through them
KINDREGAN: Hm. Well, I was reading TV tropes. There's this thing on it...
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlanetOfHats
And well, from their appearances in the EU, the Kel-Morians are all miners/scavengers/pirates, and the Umojans are all hippies/scientists. There's these pirates in a mission... We should call them 'Kel-Morian' pirates, even though the Kel-Morian Combine is fifty times richer the Dominion, probably stronger then it, and even though there's no way the Hyperion could identify the pirates as Kel-Morian, we should do it.
METZEN: Have like Archimon-- I mean Amon fight with Kerrigan on the Xel'Naga artefact?
KINDREGAN: Sigh, no. For the Umojans, we should call the Moebius Foundation scientists 'Umojans', and also have the small planetoid in the intro be called 'Umoja' (yes... that is apparently Umoja, according to dialogue and tilesets).
http://s11.postimg.org/3kd1t85j7/SC2...8_37_48_16.png
LOL WHAT THE?!?!?!?!? THAT MOON WAS UMOJA?!
I think we might have another spychi on our hands here so I'm going to quietly back off and see if this guy can grow up to be another one of the great trolls of this forum.
How is talking about sound effects the same as talking about Wings of Liberty's storyline, hmm? You have defeated yourself with your troll logic. Anyone like to explain why StarCraft II's music or sound effects are good?
There we go. That's what I'm talking about. This one is started to show promise.
But, while I'm here, I'll point out the obvious fact that I was neither talking about WOL's storyline nor sound effects but instead your emotional anti-Activision, semi-anti-capitalism rant. All good trolls of this forum have to have a good anti-capitalism rant, and you seem on track for this.
All you have done is rant about how StarCraft II is three years old. What I am addressing is stuff that can be fixed; like how the Umojans shouldn't be just the Moebius Foundation with a different name. BLIZZARD IS RACIST TOWARDS ITS OWN RACES! Wait, are you going to say I'm a Communist because I'm saying politically-correct, liberal things about racism?
The Azeroth songQuote:
Here; the Korpulu Song.
"All Mar Sarans are hicks
All Tarsonians are businessmen
All Korhalians are politicians
All Kel-Morians are miners
All Umojans are hipsters
All the UED are French
All the powerful ghosts are women
All the weak ghosts are men
All the Jamaicans are crazy voodoo drug-dealers"
When Blizzard is so racist and bigoted, I can't help but be anti-capitalist. BioWare is the shining example of political correctness in our age, with their next game having animal romance options as well. Why can't Blizzard adopt to this path, rather then having hillbilly Deep-South White Americans?Quote:
"All of Kul Tiras are sailors
All of Alterac are snobs
All of Stromgarde are warriors
All of Dalaran are mages
And all of Stormwind is burnt to the ground."
StarCraft II is as racist as the Star Wars prequels. Just because a man is black does the white hero decide to side with the white-girl, instead of the guy helping him all the game.
http://image.gamespotcdn.net/gamespo...ft_ii/0097.jpg
After seeing such racism emanate from Activision, you can't help but be anti-capitalist.
And of course, they exhibit communist traits as well. Look at all of this stuff, that they were 'inspired' by:
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__..._SC1_Game1.jpg http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__...t_Defender.png
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__...no_Eclipse.jpg http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__..._SC2_Head1.jpg
That's just a small part.
If I am a troll, then I am Chaotically Good-aligned. Indeed, you are correct. But you speak of knowledge, Bowder? You speak of experience? I have journeyed through the darkness between the most distant stars. I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities... Unto my experience, Bowder, all that you've built here in Activision is but a fleeting dream. A dream from which your precious Executive Board shall awaken, finding themselves drowned in a greater nightmare.
Indeed? You declare objective opinions, whilst I see naught but the finite days of stars? Perhaps I blaspheme of the nature of the universe, but I see now the purity of essence imbued upon our foes. They are primal and pure, and they will not stop at anything. They are Activision, and they have pillaged their way through the stars, consuming all in their path. But it shall not come to pass. GAMING, SHALL NOT FALL! EXECUTOR, I STAND READY!Quote:
I just haven't seen anythign new since Gradius gave the magnum opus of all reviews. They aren't even reviews anymore, just tantrums. Get over it people.
EN TARO ADUN!
I knew you had potential. I just knew it. I have a sense for these things afterall. Sadly, I also have a tendency of killing off the trolls before they pass their prime, so, instead this time I'm going to back off and let you grow until that day comes that you must be destroyed.
And I'm the one that's going to do it.
So long as you continue to be so predictable, O Queen, I need not face you at all. You are your own worst enemy.
So when are you going to update your review? Please talk about Mengsk's clone. Everyone else forgot to talk about him.
You want funnier?
--- Melee soundtrack ---
What could you say gives a soundtrack quality? Whether it can 'speak' or not? Most games and movies have generic music plastered onto them, just for the sake of it. They come off as sonic-the-hedgehog wallpaper (gotta go fast!).
Now, look at StarCraft's music. It does something quite incredible. It speaks through music, and gives you feels.
Terran 1: This is what I would call 'Raynor's theme'. The guitar intro is confident, casual and informal. It also has a 'past' feel. It accomplishes these things through a power-chord arpeggio of the A-note descending to the G-note, back to A and repeating, with a variation to C and D. The power-chords give the intro this specific feel, one that would not be accomplished by full major or minor chords.
Instrumentation wise, there's none of that orchestrated crap. Get that crap outta my face! It's just electric guitar, acoustic guitar, bass and maybe some non-guitar instruments in the background, plus drum-percussion. This contributes to the rough western feel that would be lost with a large-orchestra - that would result in giving you a hollywoody. If your hollywoody lasts for more than 4 hours, please contact a doctor. Your may subsequently die of a heart attack and then boner rigormortis (great for whacky open-casket funerals).
Then we move onto the famous 'duh-duh duh duh duh, duh, duh duh' section. I'm sorry, 'duh duh duh, duh-duh, duh...', shit nevermind (doesn't translate well to text). Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that duh duh duh duh part is just like the guitar part - intense, terse (is that a word?), and exciting.
Okay, guys, I just looked up the definite of terse and I think it means 'brief'. So, I'm gonna touch my briefs - I mean, touch briefly on this subject. This part of the song (duh duh duh duh...) is very brief. Okay, got that? Cool... where was I.
Hear the guitars? There's no facking weird-effects, or whammy-bar bends or solos. The music is brilliant not just for its' musicality, but for the fact that it represents the Terran race. They are cowboys and resocialized murders, not highly-evolved psionics with bullshit gimmicks (they're facking bullshit! I want to break their backs and humble them!). There's another part of the song that goes good with back breaking and humbling, but we'll get to that later my lovelies. Terrans are old country mountain men. Y'know... um... ok, they're a simple people so they like simple music. And it fits. It just fits okay? Don't be bigoted.
The music is casual but resonates with confident sexual energy all over the place.
"Howdy there boys. Names Jim Raynor, Marshal of these parts."
"Time to kick this revolution into overdrive!"
"Well, I guess all I have left is to see this through... The Zerg have taken everything from me. My home, my family, my friends..."
*seeing kerrigan for the first time in 4 years* "Kerrigan."
The theme is to keep fighting and never back down, despite how many first world problems you have. Just remember that there are kids starving in africa and that you're life is meaningless compared to their problems, so you should never complain ever. Remember to show up to work tomorrow! Have a nice life, you damn first worlder.
There's sad and happy parts. It vouches for the vanilla. Shit happens, but you take what you can get. A terran moral we can all abide by, right kids?
"Good thing I found that Odin."
Or you can be led to believe that you'll immediately succeed with flying colours in everything. Because um... naivety builds character? No, not character... where was I again? I gotta find the enter-button on my keyboard.
Oh, their we go.
Terran 2: The darkest, in a minor key. It represents dem marines - those attractive kids from starship troopers becoming meat for a government-issue grinder (if you're into that sorta thing, I guess...).
The second part of this track is a mellow build up. The third part is powerful representing terran artillery and armor - the units that blow away the darkness and get stuff done like that one american reality tv show where the guys shop at the storage houses and it's an auction and where was I... ? Silly terrans. Why even build marines? Oh, right, stimpacks...
The epilogue is a copy of a part of the Alien (1st one) soundtrack. It's kinda random, and I don't think songs have 'epilogues', but it was the only word I could think of. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
---
Okay, with that outta the way let's now do an analsis (*fart*) of StarCraft II's Terran music! Prepare for those exciting feels in your lower abdomen.
Ever since I had my accidental labiaplasty surgery instead of my scheduled colonoscopy, I lost all feeling in my lower abdomen. Send me a PM of what it feels like, and I'll email you a blueberry bagel if I still have any in my fridge.
Unfortunately, only one word comes to mind regarding WoL terran tracks. Inconsistency. It varies from orchestral and choir music, to some weird Irish-rock song with distorted guitars (I hate irish people for no reason... my entire adult life was the gilded age, can you blame me?!?), to 'country' songs with long bizzare intros. It presents a deeper image of terran life - allowing us to peer into the hearts and minds of blizz's writing elite, in order to anal-lise whatever the fuck they were struggling to present with this.
Let me get one thing straight, kids. I'm a sad, sad, old, tired, disgusting, sad, old, pathetic, sad man. I don't need... whatever this is. Whatever the fuck it is. I don't need it! Nope.
I don't like country either. Maybe that's what I was trying to say. Okay...
The new image is that the terran are hip, and like to get down with country and porn music. Now, you might think this represents an entire species, and... you'd be right I guess. This is starcraft 2 after all. Take it or leave it. Or take it. I don't care.
Protoss music. Let's start with Protoss 3. It is the music in the epilogues of StarCraft and Brood War. You can feel the emotions of doubt but hope in the music. Represents the species!
StarCraft II? Nope, it all just feels random and for the sake of it.
Zerg music, random... well, you get the picture, I guess.
NOBODY TOLD ME THIS REVIEW WOULD BE BORING.
I might've not told you this, but I'm a sad man who watches fox news and pretty much just judges people from a distance, so that I don't have to overwork my alzheimers riddled brain anymore than I fucking need to. So if I see something I don't like, it's a terrorist. Or terroristy. Or a terrorist thing.
The terrorist thing about those behind StarCraft II's music is that they pretty much did most of Blizzard's soundtracks through the years, original StarCraft included. So it must be a conspiracy. Maybe they were held up by terrorists?
Sadly for decades people have always thought music is some obligatory thing that you have to plaster and spackle and drywall (and paint? PM me drywall tips, kthx), throughout a movie or game. Me? I just want a good soundtrack for some part my life, god dang it. Like the one me and my wife danced to on our honeymoon before I killed her.
----
Payce!
Why does Lester believe that advice can be given for LotV and that it can somehow be 'fixed'? Disregarding before it's even made... there's absolutely no going back for this franchise, or for any future activision-blizz game.Quote:
Sadly, no one realized that all of this stuff is for LotV. All that I mentioned is advice for it.
And everything I mentioned is not WoL, its' fixable.
WoL turned out shitty, HotS turned out shitty, how will LotV turn out? Hold on, I gotta take a shit, brb.
I must give my most sincerest apologies to TheEconomist.
My review was not a review. It was a rant containing only vicious vitriol, unsubstantiated arguments, untasteful humour, rehashed QQing and libeous statements against Activision Blizzard employees Christopher Metzen, and Dustin Bowder. And it was written in an amateur quality, of overall bad quality.
And my comments towards TheEconomist were disgraceful, disgusting and hostile. I should not have done so, and I most thoroughly apologize.
Activision Blizzard has provided us for close to two decades, quality games and unforgettable, memorable experiences. StarCraft II's multiplayer-format is one of the most refined, competitive games or sports in the world. And StarCraft II's story is a classic tale of starcrossed lovers and good versus. evil, containing the classic Hollywood approach transforming the original game of talking-heads and long-speeches into an action-packed adventure.
I present to you, an upcoming, innovative game, penned by Christie Golden, behind such Blizzard-classics as, 'The Dark Templar Trilogy'™ and 'StarCraft: Flashpoint'™. In coordination with BioWare, known for their endearing romances. The story begins here:
I'm quite interested about this one. The gameplay seems amazing; rather then the boring fights of the original StarCraft, it's an exciting point-and-click game like the Hyperion in StarCraft II. Your goal is to woo Kerrigan. For example, you can visit the botanist on the Hyperion, and buy her flowers; increasing your standing with her.Quote:
One day upon the beautiful desert world of Antiga Prime, our hero James Raynor began a fight against the evil Terran Confederacy of Man. A dashing woman of redhair came from nowhere, plunging her blades into the evil Terran marines.
With a startled look, James observed her. She reached out and slapped him.
'You pig!' she cried.
'What?! I haven't even said anything! I can't even see anything!'
'So love has blinded you?'
'No... only because I'm so in love with you.'
Overall, I can't wait for this one. The dialogue seems amazing! A page from the script:
Quote:
KERRIGAN: Jiiim, where are you?
RAYNOR: I'm here, darlin'.
KERRIGAN: Doesn't take a telepath to know what you're thinking.
RAYNOR: Just shut up and kiss me, darlin'.
I have no idea what's going on.
Starcraft, in my brain. Make it stop. Fuck the pain away.
LoversCraft, the new dating sim developed by Blizzard and written by Christie Golden, set during Rebel Yell. This is what is going on. And I'm truly excited. After seeing some screenshots for this game, there is hope for the StarCraft franchise.
http://s17.postimg.org/vfreioywf/yesyes2.png
Who's the chick on the left?
If it includes accurately rendered kissing scenes, IGN'll given it a 9/10.
It's Kerrigan!
Doesn't look like her.