'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
While researching some more info on schizophrenia, I came across this memoir written by an author chronicling his battle with and recovery from schizophrenia. I figure, opportunities to learn about this rather mysterious mental illness this in-depth come few and far between, so any of our members interested in psychology might find this an interesting read.
Hell, I was surprised to learn some new strategies for coping, that certain thoughts I have are actually common among schizophrenia, and that my strategies I already have for dealing with the disease are actually quite effective -- and I'm only on page 15. If you are coping with the disease like myself, or know somebody who is, or are just interested in abnormal psychology, you'll find this an interesting read.
Though I've been up for over 30 hours now, so I'm having trouble focusing on the book.
Regardless, here it is.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Schizophrenia is when you have voices in your head telling you to kill the President of some backwater African country, right?
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
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Originally Posted by
DemolitionSquid
Schizophrenia is when you have voices in your head telling you to kill the President of some backwater African country, right?
Yessir.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Sweet. Wish I had a Kindle to put this on.
I've heard schizophrenia described as being like a dream. When you or I have a dream, we can't tell it's a dream; but then we wake up, and it becomes obvious. For someone with schizophrenia, though, they can never tell the difference. It's like they never wake up. The real and unreal blend together in so seamless a manner.
One possible use of dreams is as a scenario simulator. "What if I'm in this situation?" your brain might ask. Well, by nature our brains are geared for violence and the wild, so it usually plays with our fight-or-flight instincts. The same probably holds true for schizophrenia, which may be why schizos tend to have more paranoid delusions. Though I've heard of pleasant ones, too.
Very interesting disorder.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
If you don't mind me asking Muspelli, what exactly does your level of schizophrenia involve? From what I understand of the ''disease'', a variety of symptoms can occur making it hard to actually know what exactly is the disorder.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sandwich_bird
If you don't mind me asking Muspelli, what exactly does your level of schizophrenia involve? From what I understand of the ''disease'', a variety of symptoms can occur making it hard to actually know what exactly is the disorder.
How does mine manifest? Incomprehensible whispering, random insults (though audial hallucinations are rare for me), shadowy figures, demonic encounters, intense paranoia of pretty much everyone, delusional parasitosis, persecutory delusions. I'm lucky enough to have retained my lucidity, so they aren't true delusions -- I am aware the thoughts are incorrect, but I still 'believe' them to be true to an extent. For example, I know it to be impossible that my friends can hear my thoughts, but I still catch myself thinking they can at times.
I've been diagnosed despite being apparently prodromal; I've never had a full-on psychotic episode due to the illness.
I have developed several means of dismissing delusions, paranoia, and hallucinations as well, which is probably a contributor to my previously mentioned lucidity.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
I have had a great revelation of the universe. I cannot describe in words what I have come to learn. I can't help but think without schizophrenia, without my ever-so-slightly altered state of existence, I may never have come to this truly beautiful realization. Though the disease is terrible in nature, that terribleness is a necessity of existence. I am eternally grateful for my lot in life. It's like all the pain and sorrow I have ever felt has left my body completely.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Which version of you said that?
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
The one that is, unusually, not experiencing a single schizophrenic symptom, and hasn't been for a couple days. Am confused on that one.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DemolitionSquid
Schizophrenia is when you have voices in your head telling you to kill the President of some backwater African country, right?
Good, I was worried about the voice that told me to kill some backwater African in my neighborhood.
If you really want to understand your revelations, research Dopamine and the effects it has on your perception of reality. That's really all most mental illnesses are.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TheEconomist
Good, I was worried about the voice that told me to kill some backwater African in my neighborhood.
If you really want to understand your revelations, research Dopamine and the effects it has on your perception of reality. That's really all most mental illnesses are.
I am choosing to accept them as spiritual, as rationalistically naive that may be. It's given me comfort and made me feel happy for a change (as whingy as that sounds; when you deal with something as terrible as mental illness, you reserve to right to be a bit bitchy about it :P), and for that I am grateful. Indeed, my psychotic symptoms have all vanished since. Not sure what to make of that.
But enough about me. I strongly recommend anyone interested in mental illness and human psychology read this book. It can be a bit confusing at times, but it truly helped me come to terms with my own mental state, and I'm sure those unafflicted by mental illness could learn something about a new, unusual perspective on life from it.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Well, then I guess all I'll say is good luck.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
I thank you for your well-wishes, and return them in kind.
Re: 'Over the Transom', a memoir by Eugene Uttley.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TheEconomist
If you really want to understand your revelations, research Dopamine and the effects it has on your perception of reality. That's really all most mental illnesses are.
I don't think so - schizophrenia is imagination and fear actualization running away with itself.
Ordinarily, envisioning fear inducing scenarios (fight or flight, etc.) is a mechanism of the human brain and part of planning, but I believe schizophrenia messes with this.
The brain is chemical, but not all of the brain depends entirely on the chemicals - chemicals that you're referring to are more of an auxiliary to the brain to facillitate certain things (endorphins, dopamine to keep your focused, serotonin to induce confidence and optimism or whatever, etc.).
This is all my own opinion though (reading that google doc), I haven't actually studied psychology/psychiatry at all (though I sorta want to).
----
That said, I guess I'm very greatful that I've only got aspergers (the social disorder) and not full blown schizophrenia.
Hope you continue to stay safe and functional muspelli.
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Indeed, my psychotic symptoms have all vanished since. Not sure what to make of that.
Probably a result of keeping calm and not feeling like you have to do something about it. Going psycho is probably when you become determistically evil from determinism (like, if I were psycho, it'd be a result of me feeling like I had to be responsible for lots of things and was simultaneously so afraid that all sense of shame disappears). Degrees of shame are a good part of what keeps all of us sane (as long as it doesn't tie you down too much). :P
