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View Full Version : So, my college is better than your college.



Visions of Khas
10-08-2009, 01:19 AM
... A fact we've already established with Humans v Zombies. But allow me to elaborate. We have amazing people come and visit our campus, like Jon Stewart, Fifty Cent, and futurist Ray Kurzweil (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_kurzweil). (We had Jimmy Fallon, but he doesn't warrant the "amazing" label, in my opinion.) Jimmy Wales (http://wikipedia.org/), the founder of Wikipedia, will also be visiting this month.

We also had Stefan Sagmeister. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stefan_Sagmeister)

A little backstory: Stefan is an acclaimed artist and graphic designer. His designs are pretty neat, check 'em out.

The features that distinguish this visitor are two in number:

1.) the level of interactivity. He had the entire art department create things and displays to herald his coming. Some neat stuff.

and...

2.) His introduction. Let me set the scene and paraphrase:

I'm sitting near the front of this massive auditorium, which is packed beyond legal fire code safety standards. As the lights dim and crowd hushes, this tall and lanky man, with an Austrian accent, steps forward and begins to speak. The expression on his face and manner of speech betray absolute boredom beyond any human measure. He begins to speak:


"Allow me to thank you all by letting me come here. It is a great honor. Let me share a similar experience, which was just as amazing in scope and depth, for art, as I shall explain, is all about happiness. This visit makes me happy, and so did the experience I now relate:

"I and my friends once went to a massive aquarium, and all the people were ushered to see this tank occupied by a sea cow. A sea cow is a massive, majestic, beuaitful animal, kind of like a manatee.

"As we watched, we saw this massive form stir. It swam towards me, this massive, majestic beast. Its eyes were huge, whiskers the thickness of my finger.

"It's gliding towards me, stooped down low, like so. As it nears us, we are agape in wonder. And then, before us, it rights itself, not unlike a standing human.

"As it stands erect, it reveals this massive boner..."

*the crowd erupts*

"...You see, being such a large animal, it's boner is quite impressive. Imagine a horse, just... bigger. And, before us, this majestic beast bows its head and begins to give itself a blow job."

*people fall out of their chairs, in stitches*

Stefan then walks back to the podium to stand next to the deaf interpreter as she finishes signing. When she is done, he slowly looks at her slyly, and says, in the same thick Austrian accent: "... Blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob." The poor woman can't help but perform her duty, and sign "blowjob" five times over.


The remainder of his presentation is informative and hillarious. I was sitting next to the videographers. I'll have to see whether I can get a copy and show you guys. It was HILARIOUS. In the interim, here is a similar presentation he gave (http://www.ted.com/talks/stefan_sagmeister_the_power_of_time_off.html), sans the above Sea Cow story. I'm sure other art people here will appreciate this.





That is my story.

TheEconomist
10-08-2009, 09:02 AM
I want the 26 seconds I wasted on this POS back. Nao. Or there will be blood to pay.

Pandonetho
10-08-2009, 01:23 PM
We all know all the cool kids actually go to University.

Visions of Khas
10-08-2009, 04:09 PM
Eh, I'm sorry. I was just tickled by the story he gave and had to share it. Though the presentation given WAS pretty good, in my opinion.

RainbowToeSocks
10-08-2009, 05:44 PM
We all know all the cool kids actually go to University.

Agreed

Novasquadron
10-08-2009, 05:46 PM
Better you say?
That is open to interpretation.

But that must have been a nice showing.

sandwich_bird
10-08-2009, 05:51 PM
AgreedUntil you realize university is an overpriced bullshit

DemolitionSquid
10-08-2009, 06:10 PM
Higher education ruins minds.

Pandonetho
10-08-2009, 06:17 PM
Until you realize university is an overpriced bullshit

No, it's just college kids get angst when they're not smart enough to get accepted into the U.

sandwich_bird
10-08-2009, 07:39 PM
No, it's just college kids get angst when they're not smart enough to get accepted into the U.I'm in the U and I came to realize that it's crap. Well at least the one I go to. Once I'll be done with my biopharmaceutical bachelor degree I won't be able to do a shit while all those college brats that took assistant reserchers programs will have better hands on experience that I could only wish to have. So since I can't enter the industry because I can't compete with the college guys since they have better experience than me (and better grades since their courses are retarded) what do I do? Well I go do my PhD and lose even more money because universities are retarded while those college kids are already in the industry and their company pays for them to go get all their degrees up to masters and of course in the industry a master + experience is way better than a PhD without the experience. So what do I do then? Well I go do a cool Post-Doc and ruin myself even more while the college kids probably is the manager of the whole facility at this point and lol at me.

Pandonetho
10-08-2009, 09:48 PM
Cool story bro... my sister became a Dental Hygienist and makes 50 bucks an hour and another friend I know became a specialist in Dentistry who makes over 200 grand a year, so I guess we all have our different stories.