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Thread: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

  1. #141

    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Brothers and Sisters, I greet you in the name of the Emperor!

    An emergency meeting of the Plenum of the People's Imperial Commisariat was called into order this morning. Various delegates from our planet's Imperial Administorium were ..... volunteered to attend a lecture given by a member of the venerated Ordo Hereticus. I had the dubious honor of watching this game played and I must say, the ways of Chaos are....strange, to say the least. I had expected this "game" to be quite the propaganda tool, scared as I am for the minds of you, our youth, in these last days. However, after the lecture by the Hereticus, my mind is put at ease.

    From our initial reports, this "game" is having far less of an effect on the target population than at first believed. It is thought that this is due in large part to the strange lack of innovation in game complexity, design, enemy unit design etc.

    In randomized double-blinded tests conducted by the Ordo Hereticus on......loyal....."volunteers" it was found that a large majority of those participating found that, in typical vile underhiver parlance, "This peice of shite diddunt stack up to da' hype!" Another typically undecipherable comment from the experimental group was, "By the throne! Command and Conquer: Kane's Wrath came out 4 years ago and it was better than this soggy grox!"

    The Hereticus believes that this "game" was a failure, being unable to accomplish the probable objectives set forth by the agents of Chaos who created it. It is believed that it's influence will not reach beyond this system and the Segmentum will not be threatened in any significant way. This is good news for our system as it means that the Sector Poliburo Central Committee will probably not ask for a Terran Inquistorial Review to consider allocating resources for the, ah, "Reeducation" of our World. (Emperor watch over her and keep her always within HIS righteous grip!)

    The heroic people's emissary from the Hereticus stated that, at worst, the system might expect a larger than usual tithe for this cycle alone. Specifically, the demand for Military aged Males and Females. This is.....sad. However, it has been a long time since our system was chosen to outfit an Imperial Manpower Tithe. The focus will be on getting the young and impressionable away from the corruption of this minor unsavory, but ultimately, toothless influence.

    The final Verdict of the Ordo Herecticus is that only those already completely under the spell of the Ruinous Powers (EMPEROR STRIKE THEM DOWN AND BANISH THEM FOREVER!) will be much swayed by this absurd, bland, "game."
    Last edited by AdeptusAstartes; 07-30-2010 at 03:27 PM.

  2. #142

    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Nice Try Torgo. Both Gamestop and IGN gave it a 91% The Ordo Hypocriticus just bribed those people to say those things.
    "Sometimes it is entirely appropriate to kill a fly with a sledgehammer." - U.S. Marine Corps Proverb

  3. #143

    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hellgrinder View Post
    Nice Try Torgo. Both Gamestop and IGN gave it a 91% The Ordo Hypocriticus just bribed those people to say those things.

    Bah! Shills of the Ruinous powers, boy! Open your eyes! This "game" is a failure! I would expect reactions like this from the likes of cultists who thought the Imperium sanctioned "Strife" rated a mere 80%! Or that other vile peice of Xenographic filth, that....that....now what was the title of that one?

    *flips through a faded tome"

    Ah yes! "Halo!" A godawful peice of pure anti-Imperial thought crime! Utterly boring, flat and contemptible!

    The Ruinous Powers must be losing their touch! These games get more boring, drab and uninspired the longer they have to work on them!

  4. #144

    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Quote Originally Posted by AdeptusAstartes View Post
    Ah yes! "Halo!" A godawful peice of pure anti-Imperial thought crime! Utterly boring, flat and contemptible!
    Now that, I agree with.
    "Sometimes it is entirely appropriate to kill a fly with a sledgehammer." - U.S. Marine Corps Proverb

  5. #145
    Aznargo's Avatar Junior Member
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    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Quote Originally Posted by AdeptusAstartes View Post
    Now, this is a game we can be proud of you, our Youths, playing! A game worthy of a young Man's attentions!
    *Holds up a glass of wine* What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk! For the Emperor!

    Reading through this thread made me laugh. I honestly thought this guy was just another troll . Quite an act you put on there, mon ami.

    Anyway, I like Warhammer, but Dawn of War 2 was just bleh to me. No construction = bad "RTS" (*COUGH*CommandAndConquer4*COUGH*). That's just my opinion, though...

    Adun Toridas!
    Current Status - The Worst SC2 Player of All Time

  6. #146

    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Never played Warhammer, but one of my closest friends in RL does. Even though I don't play it, I like the dark, gothic feel to it. And that's what matters most. Sure, SC and 40K both have guys in power armor called Marines (although neither one can claim that they came up with that. Heinlein did. Hell, he invented the name "Space Marine"!), but they have each have a different "feel" to them. 40K is dark and gothic, SC is more like a Western. Halo, which is derivative of both, doesn't have that feel that either one has. It has a cliche'd feel.

    And as far as trolls go, he is one of the better ones I've met. At least he's not Jason.
    "Sometimes it is entirely appropriate to kill a fly with a sledgehammer." - U.S. Marine Corps Proverb

  7. #147
    Aznargo's Avatar Junior Member
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    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Aw come on, don't bash classic Halo 1! Bash the others all you like, but Halo 1 will always be one of my favourite games .

    Adun Toridas!
    Current Status - The Worst SC2 Player of All Time

  8. #148

    Default Re: This "game" is an abomination in the eyes of the Emperor!

    Quote Originally Posted by AdeptusAstartes View Post
    Brothers and Sisters, I greet you in the name of the Emperor!
    "TONIGHT, WE DINE ON MACRAGG-"
    *Checks script*

    "What, that's an entirely different franchise? Boy, I guess that's what happens when you don't pay attention."

    Quote Originally Posted by AdeptusAstartes View Post
    In randomized double-blinded tests conducted by the Ordo Hereticus on......loyal....."volunteers" it was found that a large majority of those participating found that, in typical vile underhiver parlance, "This peice of shite diddunt stack up to da' hype!" Another typically undecipherable comment from the experimental group was, "By the throne! Command and Conquer: Kane's Wrath came out 4 years ago and it was better than this soggy grox!"
    Yeah, because DoW II was so much better, hein? I mean, it's an RTS without the S!

    Quote Originally Posted by AdeptusAstartes View Post
    The final Verdict of the Ordo Herecticus is that only those not already completely under the spell of the Ruinous Powers (EMPEROR STRIKE THEM DOWN AND BANISH THEM FOREVER!) will not be much swayed by this absurd, bland, "game."
    So, speaking of the Emperor, how's the old boy doing? Last I heard, he was suffering from the Royal Affliction, if you know what I mean. *wink* Hey, with all those Harems, who can blame him!

    Not sure if you guys have penicillin, as it's apparently more honorable to die on the battlefield than live to fight some more, but I imagine your... well, whatever the Hell you have for medics can clear him right up.

    Quote Originally Posted by AdeptusAstartes View Post
    Bah! Shills of the Ruinous powers, boy! Open your eyes! This "game" is a failure! I would expect reactions like this from the likes of cultists who thought the Imperium sanctioned "Strife" rated a mere 80%! Or that other vile peice of Xenographic filth, that....that....now what was the title of that one?

    *flips through a faded tome"

    Ah yes! "Halo!" A godawful peice of pure anti-Imperial thought crime! Utterly boring, flat and contemptible!

    The Ruinous Powers must be losing their touch! These games get more boring, drab and uninspired the longer they have to work on them!
    *cheek twitches*

    Them's fighting words, Affemensch.
    The original Halo is still one of the great classics. The Haloverse is a model of how to integrate tie-in novels and comics into the franchise (Here's a hint: if Kevin J. Anderson applies for the job, BURN HIS APPLICATION!).

    Halo 2, Halo:ODST? Not as good as the original, but good in their own right. Halo 3? Could've spent a lot more time on campaign. That's a better success rate than, say, Killzone or Resistance.

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