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Thread: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

  1. #1

    Default Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Because I have missed these.

    WoL, HotS

    Zeratul: Here, in the dark depths of space, shall I recap the plot events of the last two games that fans already know. Amon, the fallen xel'naga, is alive again, and only the prophecy that I guess had a fourth fragment after all, is the key to hope. Also, Duran and Narud were totally the same guy all along. Yes. Glad I'm clarifying that to myself, it wasn't very clear before.
    Talis: Zeratul, I need your help! My templar have been kidnapped by a mysterious terran force.
    Zeratul: Um, that's really bad, yes, but I'm rather busy at the moment. Ancient prophecy, evil god, galaxy in peril. Important stuff.
    Talis: But we're under attack by the zerg!
    Zeratul: Zerg? Why didn't you say so, I'm always up for some zergling round-up.

    Kerrigan: Zeratul! Why are you here?
    Zeratul: Kerrigan, my templar brethren are being held captive here.
    Kerrigan: Well, this lab is being used to create hybrids, so I'm here to destroy it.
    Zeratul: It would seem our goals are not mutually exclusive. Aid us in freeing our brethren and we shall lend their blades to the facility's destruction.
    Kerrigan: Nah, I'm not into co-op gameplay. Get in my way and you die.
    Zeratul: You seem to be unnecessarily hostile.
    Kerrigan: What part of "Queen Bitch of the Universe" do you not get yet?

    Talis: Our nexus is ready to begin the attack. Thank you for your aid, prelate. Surely you would lead our forces into battle?
    Zeratul: I would, but I just successfully hacked the terran data network called "Netflix." I shall be remaining on my ship for the next few hours.
    Talis: I am so glad I called you, without your invaluable aid we would be lost.

    Zeratul: The terrans are using warp in!? They must have discovered how to access the map editor!
    Talis: Truly they are fearsome opponents.

    Zeratul: And now to investigate the computers to find out where Amon's temple is.
    Talis: We must flee the facility, the zerg are overrunning it and it will take hours to locate such data!
    Zeratul: Actually, Narud left the file on his desktop. See?
    Talis: Hm, "Map to Evil Temple of Evil.png." Convenient.

    Talis: This planet is breaking apart.
    Zeratul: We must descend to it and infiltrate the Tal'darim temple.
    Talis: Won't that happen when the planet blows up?
    Zeratul: I'm impatient. It's been five years, let's get this over with and move on.
    Talis: The thought process of most at this point.

    Ma'lash: Tal'darim, to arms! Defend the temple!
    Zeratul: Who are you?
    Ma'lash: I am the leader of the Tal'darim.
    Zeratul: Like the Tal'darim Executor Raynor fought?
    Ma'lash: He was my brother! Amon always liked him better, that's why he was made Executor. Well, now he's dead and I'm alive! Who's laughing now, bro? HAHAHAHAHA!
    Talis: He appears to be insane.
    Zeratul: Actually for the Tal'darim, this is pretty reserved. He hasn't called us defilers yet.

    Talis: This planet's vespene deposits are erupting regularly.
    Zeratul: Fear not, I shall have the Void Seeker extract the vespene from orbit.
    Talis: We can do that now?
    Zeratul: Apparently.
    Talis: Maybe point that thing towards one of the massive canyons full of vespene?
    Zeratul: That would be unsporting.

    Zeratul: The temple entrance is open! Now we can enter and investigate Amon's return.
    Talis: And once again I did it without your help. Please remind me why I called you.

    Zealot: Highlord, they've breached the temple!
    Ma'lash: I am so grounded for this. Go die somewhere while I call up Amon.

    Zeratul: Ma'lash is using a void conduit to summon Amon!
    Talis: Is everything to be prefixed "void" now?
    Zeratul: Well, we ran "psi" into the ground last game, so "void" is the new buzzword now.
    Talis: Was there ever any object called a "psi void"?
    Zeratul: Now you're being ridiculous.

    Zeratul: Force fields! We can use blink to bypass them.

    Zeratul: That photon cannon can see me, I shall use my void armor to defend myself.

    Zeratul: An immortal? I shall use my shadow strike to kill it.
    Talis: Pardon me, Zeratul, but who are you speaking to?
    Zeratul: I am speaking to myself.
    Talis: ...Do you do that often?
    Zeratul: Quite often.
    Talis: May I ask why?
    Zeratul: I've been traveling alone for five years. I get lonely sometimes and miss conversation.
    Talis: You could always have found some friends to accompany you. It seems like you constantly need help anyway. I mean, without Karass you would have died in the first prophecy mission.
    Zeratul: That observer can reveal my presence! I should be cautious.
    Talis: You should also consider seeing a psychiatrist, this behavior is not healthy.

    Ma'lash: My lord, the terrans allowed the intruders to come here.
    Amon: Don't be afraid, Ma'lash. Ready for war and await my orders.
    Ma'lash: So same-old same-old? Come on, I can handle more responsibility!
    Amon: Why could you not be more like your brother and charge into battle spouting pseudo-religious nonsense?
    Ma'lash: Let's not get into this again, our counsellor says we're close to a breakthrough!

    Zeratul: The Tal'darim are marching to war! We must destroy that conduit to stop the Tal'darim from contacting Amon again.
    Talis: I just told you last mission this planet is about to be destroyed, anyway. I doubt they can take it with them.
    Zeratul: Yes, but this mission has not lasted long enough yet.

    Ma'lash: Crap, he's here! Um... beware, defiler, the gods mock your futility! Soon the reckoning of, uh, the true god, shall come for you!
    Zeratul: It runs in the family I see.
    Ma'lash: And we fail again. Truly we Tal'darim suck. Adios!
    Talis: He ran away rather than fight to the death for no reason! Truly he is the most intelligent and cunning Tal'darim warrior we've seen yet.

    Tassadar: You must go to the Atrias system. There you will meet Zeratul, the templar who trained me.
    Zeratul: Tassadar, this is Zeratul, and we're already in the Atrias system.
    Tassadar: Oh. Well, this is awkward. Um... find something called the Keystone. Yes, that sounds appropriately vague and unhelpful. My connection is breaking up, call you back later.
    Zeratul: Truly this expedition accomplished much.

    Amon: Run run, or you'll be well done!
    Zeratul: Amon is collapsing the temple!
    Talis: And he's summoning shadowy clones of protoss units to attack!
    Zeratul: The map editing powers of our foes is truly impressive.

    Zeratul: This archway has collapsed, I must find another way around.
    Talis: No shit, Sherlock.

    Zeratul: The Tal'darim are coming! Talis, you must stay and stall them while I escape.
    Talis: Huh? But I could come with you!
    Zeratul: Your sacrifice will not be in vain.
    Talis: I'm not dead yet, I have an invincibility trigger!
    Zeratul: You will be remembered with honor.
    Talis: I hate you.
    Zeratul: Your aid in this endeavour has been invaluable.
    Talis: Wish I could say the same! You didn't even take the field until the last mission!
    Zeratul: Why can't you be more like Karass?
    Talis: Why can't you be more useful?

    Zeratul: The prophecy has been fully realized. Through the great sacrifice of a new character so unnoteable we didn't even give her a unique portrait and model, we have been given hope. A vision of the xel'naga that may save us all. Now I must return to my people, they will not understand, but I will face their judgment and make them understand, for only Artanis, young hierarch of the protoss, can unite us before Amon engulfs the galaxy.
    Talis' Ghost: Seriously, who the hell are you talking to?
    Last edited by Drake Clawfang; 07-19-2015 at 05:03 AM.
    SC2 handle - "DrakeyC, code 929"

    I ARE A PROPHET! I've predicted three major aspects of SC2 correct, more or less.

    June 2007 - I predicted the Protoss campaign would give you new tech as you conducted diplomacy among tribes.

    Hidden Content:
    July 18th 2010 - I predicted Raynor would broadcast information of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis to discredit him and incite rebellion.


    Hidden Content:
    June 16th 2010 I predicted the Voice in the Darkness was the commanding force behind the Hybrids. I'm calling it half-right.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    It's funny/sad cos it's true.

    I wonder if this still counts as satire when you didn't even have to disguise the dialogue. At this point, you could have just put up the actual official transcript and I would've still laughed. Lol
    Yes, that's right! That is indeed ME on the right.


    _______________________________________________

  3. #3

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Quote Originally Posted by Turalyon View Post
    At this point, you could have just put up the actual official transcript and I would've still laughed. Lol
    I would hope the Drake Clawfang flair added spice
    SC2 handle - "DrakeyC, code 929"

    I ARE A PROPHET! I've predicted three major aspects of SC2 correct, more or less.

    June 2007 - I predicted the Protoss campaign would give you new tech as you conducted diplomacy among tribes.

    Hidden Content:
    July 18th 2010 - I predicted Raynor would broadcast information of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis to discredit him and incite rebellion.


    Hidden Content:
    June 16th 2010 I predicted the Voice in the Darkness was the commanding force behind the Hybrids. I'm calling it half-right.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    I think the Drake Clawfang flair added clarity.

    So you got a profile on fanfiction.net?

  5. #5

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Quote Originally Posted by Nissa View Post
    I think the Drake Clawfang flair added clarity.

    So you got a profile on fanfiction.net?
    https://www.fanfiction.net/~drakeclawfang
    SC2 handle - "DrakeyC, code 929"

    I ARE A PROPHET! I've predicted three major aspects of SC2 correct, more or less.

    June 2007 - I predicted the Protoss campaign would give you new tech as you conducted diplomacy among tribes.

    Hidden Content:
    July 18th 2010 - I predicted Raynor would broadcast information of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis to discredit him and incite rebellion.


    Hidden Content:
    June 16th 2010 I predicted the Voice in the Darkness was the commanding force behind the Hybrids. I'm calling it half-right.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Quote Originally Posted by Drake Clawfang View Post
    And yet not a single fanfic in the SC category....

  7. #7
    TheEconomist's Avatar Lord of Economics
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    6,895

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Mega Man and My Little Pony? Fan fiction has become the embodiment of evil.



    Rest In Peace, Old Friend.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Quote Originally Posted by TheEconomist View Post
    Mega Man and My Little Pony? Fan fiction has become the embodiment of evil.
    Clearly you've never heard of Fallout Equestria.
    SC2 handle - "DrakeyC, code 929"

    I ARE A PROPHET! I've predicted three major aspects of SC2 correct, more or less.

    June 2007 - I predicted the Protoss campaign would give you new tech as you conducted diplomacy among tribes.

    Hidden Content:
    July 18th 2010 - I predicted Raynor would broadcast information of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis to discredit him and incite rebellion.


    Hidden Content:
    June 16th 2010 I predicted the Voice in the Darkness was the commanding force behind the Hybrids. I'm calling it half-right.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Quote Originally Posted by TheEconomist View Post
    Mega Man and My Little Pony? Fan fiction has become the embodiment of evil.
    Make fun of MLP all you want, but Mega Man is boss. Not that crossing them over is a good idea....

    *silently judges Drake*

    Lol, I once wrote a five part Mega Man fanfiction. I'm pretty darn proud of it.


    "Seeing Fenix once more perplexes me. I feel sadness, when I should feel joy."
    - Artanis.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Whispers of Oblivion Abridged [Spoilers]

    Hey, I've seen Starcraft-MLP crossovers where Equestria is a fringe planet in the K-sector.
    SC2 handle - "DrakeyC, code 929"

    I ARE A PROPHET! I've predicted three major aspects of SC2 correct, more or less.

    June 2007 - I predicted the Protoss campaign would give you new tech as you conducted diplomacy among tribes.

    Hidden Content:
    July 18th 2010 - I predicted Raynor would broadcast information of Mengsk's actions on Tarsonis to discredit him and incite rebellion.


    Hidden Content:
    June 16th 2010 I predicted the Voice in the Darkness was the commanding force behind the Hybrids. I'm calling it half-right.

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